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tampered2006-07-28 04:01 am
conflictive.livejournal.com) wrote in tampered2006-07-28 04:01 am
Log; Complete - PART 3
When; Sunday, after Evelynne's impending party and suchlike. X)
Rating; NC-17
Characters; Zack |![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
yourarmor & Cloud | conflictive
Summary; They do it.
NOTE; This log kind of defies LJ's entry word limit, so it's been split up into three or so parts. >: Sorry!
Log;
Cloud instinctively wrapped his arms around Zack's neck as he was swept
off his feet without warning, as though fearing he might fall, though he
knew that he wouldn't, not if Zack was there to catch him.
So Zack had to do things his way, even when it came to this. He had that
look of utter self satisfaction on his face; the one that said he'd won,
and
that he was damned proud of it. Then again, it wouldn't be him otherwise.
Cloud might have even rolled his eyes and said something sarcastic, had
the situation been different. Somehow, though, he was more preoccupied
with being surprised that Zack could still carry him as effortlessly as
ever, just as he been so fond of doing when they had both been younger.
Did this make Cloud the prize? It was amusing, thinking of it that way.
Nonetheless, it pleased him to be valued so highly, when he'd spent the
greater part of his life trying to accept his own lack of worth. It seemed
that only Zack was capable of bringing him this happiness, the kind that
needed no explanations and made no compromises. The kind that made life
worth living, and something Cloud had done without for quite some time
now, until recently.
When they'd been young, and Zack had attempted to pull something like
this, Cloud would have struggled and let fly a colorful array of scathing
threats, in demand for his release. It had just been his way. Now, though,
he was content with keeping his arms entwined around Zack's neck and
resting his head against his chest until they reached their destination,
the location of which Cloud had little doubt.
Zack half-expected Cloud to spit at least one sarcastic word out or wiggle
or do something other than just cooperate with a typical 'Zack moment', so
he was mildly surprised when Cloud simply relaxed and went with the flow. Of
course, Zack didn't let his surprise show at all, because what was the fun
in that?
It was amusing, how much things changed in so many years, and yet nothing
changed at all at the same time. Zack didn't know if he should think more on
this or not, because his gut instinct told him that this was just the way
things were. And Zack was happy with it, because for some reason he, at
times, wondered if it were at all possible that Cloud and he should ever
meet again that the blond would remember him. A silly thought of course, but
Zack was a curious individual, and even more curiosity arose every now and
then when he arrived in The City. There were ways you could visit your
homeland or at least take a peek into it, and Zack had been tempted to for
the longest time.
But an equal exchange for such a thing was always necessary. Zack didn't
have much to give, and when it came to memories he was more than willing to
give up little pointless things, but it had to be big if it were a bigger
wish. But even if he did want to return back to Midgar and see Cloud, even
if it were just for a day, he would've had to have a physical body to go
back into. Zack, unfortunately, didn't have that privilege like most other
people did. So there was no way he could do that.
Years passed by before Aerith came along and Zack thought she just somehow
walked into The City, but when she explained what happened in as little
detail as possible, Zack realized they were both stuck there. Forever. And
he honestly didn't mind it because it meant there was still a chance he
could meet Cloud again. As selfish as it was for him to think so, he did
long for him to randomly step into The City at random, so you could only
imagine his surprise when he actually did. He hid that surprise though in
favor of simply playing it cool, so everything worked out well.
But before that he made a big decision. It wasn't long ago when he did this,
but he went back to Dorian and told the woman what he wanted and, yes, it
was a hefty price to pay. But he couldn't stand it any longer, not with the
thought of not only himself gone to watch over Cloud, but also Aerith now.
Yes, he could have more people with him, but Zack could tell that Aerith and
he had gotten close, because Aerith spoke about Cloud in the same fondness
that Zack did.
And this was at random too, after much thought throughout two years. If he
had no physical body to go back in, then he'd make one himself. Not a human
of course, because that'd be not only difficult but not something he wanted
to do, but something, anything else that could move.
And he did, in the form of a wolf. But sadly he was half-coherent, barely
remembered most of the things he saw, but he was there. For however short of
a time he was, it didn't matter, because he was there and he saw things with
his own two eyes (or, rather, another host's eyes) and was perfectly fine
trailing after Cloud in an attempt to catch up with him somehow. Zack didn't
have any luck of course because things changed so damn much and finding his
way around was... difficult, so to say. But it was sort of
frustrating that he couldn't keep up but was always right behind
Cloud, but not in a sense where he was anywhere physically close to him.
And did he learn a lot when there? No, not really. But it was because he
decided so many years back that he wanted to hear everything from Cloud if
they were able to meet once again. Zack felt it was the right thing to do.
But you couldn't blame him for not only his curiosity over what was going
on, but his curiosity of wondering if Cloud was alright, if he was safe and,
heck, if he was eating his vegetables and wasn't scowling at a glass of
milk.
Although he remembered some things, there were still large gaps in his
memory where he wasn't sure what went on, especially at the end of his
'trip'. Oh, how he longed to remember, but maybe it was for the best.
Besides, he had Cloud with him now. He couldn't ask for anything more in the
world, because his world was already in his arms.
Zack would've said all these things to Cloud if he really wanted to. Half of
him was itching to, and half of him wanted some of that to be a secret. It
was something he wanted to keep to himself.
Carefully opening the door and even more carefully stepping in side-ways so
he wouldn't do any damage to Cloud accidentally, Zack moved on over towards
the bed (absently kicking something out of the way, which was probably
clothes from a day ago that he promptly 'forgot' to pick up) and gently
placed him down on the bed. Had they been younger he would've tossed him
unceremoniously while laughing loudly at how much Cloud cursed at him.
Thankfully this was a whole new situation, and Zack thanked whatever deity
there was that this was all playing out very, very smoothly.
As soon as Cloud was down on the bed Zack also hopped on, grinning a little
bit towards the blond but it slowly turned into a softer smile. A hand
reached out and smoothed back soft hair and he stared at him a moment,
perfectly comfortable in the fact that they were both already so close and
that he could look him in the eye and keep looking for however long he
wanted. Usually people would break gazes after a while, and Zack actually
liked it when Cloud got shy after a moment and turned his head away, because
he was fond of that part of him more than the other might know.
And as much as Zack just wanted to jump in on this, he liked taking the time
to soothingly rake his fingers through Cloud's hair, trailing it over his
face, down his neck, over his shoulders; it was a feeling he couldn't
exactly describe, and it probably didn't need to be described anyway.
Cloud would have been content with simply lying there next to him, gazing
at him shyly through eyelashes and letting him stroke his hair in that way
of his. Another moment that he wished would last forever, but there wasn't
time for that.
He wasn't sure what was going to happen next, or what he should have been
expecting, much less what he was supposed to be doing - thus far, he'd
been depending on Zack to lead, which he seemed satisfied enough with
doing. And it was a little overwhelming, thinking about it. Nonetheless,
Cloud wanted to give back, because this was supposed to be mutual. He just
didn't know how. He had nothing to offer outside of his full compliance
and fervent desire to please, and he could only hope this was adequate.
Because no one else could have him like Zack did, and he could never want
anyone as much as he wanted Zack. Even if this was something the other had
yet to realize.
And it hurt, how Zack was handling him with a reverence that made it seem
as though he would shatter into a thousand pieces at any given second, and
knowing that Zack was going slow only for him, because Cloud knew that it
was outside of Zack's nature to take his time with anything, save for a
few exceptions. Still self-sacrificing, even when it came to these things.
And Cloud wanted to express his gratitude, more than anything.
So he decided that he was going to make this good for Zack. So good
that he wouldn't be able to think straight afterwards, and Cloud wouldn't
be satisfied with anything less, because Zack deserved as much. He had no
idea how it was going to happen or what he was going to do, but he had all
faith that he could depend on fierce determination and manage, somehow.
To be quite sincere, determination was a somewhat big part of going about
doing this, and if he had heard Cloud's thoughts at that moment in time,
Zack would've either laughed at him or completely jumped all over him
without another word. But he was patient despite that, because his goal was
to please Cloud. And it was actually pretty amusing how the both of them
were so set on pleasing one another with everything they did, yet
Cloud was more subtle and awkward about it while Zack was sort of out there
and spoke his mind at random. They were complete opposites, but one in the
same; Zack was pleased with that immensely, and had no words to describe how
much it made him happy.
But before he went into that any more, he smiled a bit wider at the somewhat
determined flash that shined in Cloud's eyes quickly. Zack was able to spot
that at any time, just because he always thought it was adorable how he
tried to meet such high goals even if he had doubts that he could even meet
them. But there was no “goal” to be met here, no reason to be so determined
to make this good for Zack, because just laying that was good enough for
him. Just kissing him, holding his hand, small things were perfectly fine
and Zack had no problem with just that. Though since Cloud committed and was
quite agreeable in the position they were currently in, Zack wasn't going to
let him just lay there to wait and worry if Zack was having second thoughts
on this.
No, it was far from that. He was just taking his time and was enjoying every
minute of it.
Though he shifted a bit on the bed so he was now on top of the other,
careful to balance on his legs and elbows so he wouldn't crush the poor guy
without thinking about it. And even though it was tempting to rip off both
of their clothing really quickly and just get on with it, Zack loved to take
the time to use the hand that was currently tangled in blond hair out of
said hair, drifting it down as fingers lightly brushed his lips, his neck,
slowing making his way down to the edge of Cloud's shirt--his own
shirt, rather--to trace fine circles around his naval area.
There were things he wanted to see and sounds he wanted to hear, and every
single part of Cloud's body was his for the taking, so he was going to take
the opportunity to find out what pleased the blond. This was his first time
doing this, and for Zack it wasn't. And Zack had to agree with whoever said
sex was supposed to be special, because it was true, but Zack didn't have
the honor of having that sort of situation come upon him. So he put it on
himself to make this last, to make it as less painful than it would
be for those few minutes that will surely cause Cloud discomfort, and to
only focus on Cloud's feelings; to put himself in his shoes and know that
what he was doing was good and not bad.
So as soon as he was satisfied with simply outlining the curves of the
blond's stomach, Zack placed his hand firmly down and slipped a hand under
his shirt, finally making it farther than just his lower abdominal area,
lightly brushing over his chest and nipples before craning his head down to
claim Cloud's lips once more.
In turn, Cloud tilted his head upward to accept Zack's kiss in perfect
acquiescence, closing his eyes again, while attempting to ignore the
incessant pounding of his own heart. His arms encircled Zack's neck in a
loose embrace. The kiss was slow, languorous; deliberate, much like all of
Zack's actions at the moment.
This time, Cloud broke contact first, albeit with reluctance, pulling away
so he could slide from underneath him into something of a sitting position
again. He raised his arms above his head, beckoning Zack to pull the shirt
over and off of him.
Zack took no time in promptly prying Cloud's shirt off, slipping it over his
head to carelessly toss it to the floor, or where ever it landed in the end.
He didn't pause in his movements when once again laying a soft kiss on his
lips, but barely in an almost teasing manner before nipping at his bottom
lip, tongue lining that in one swift motion as his hands firmly grasped
Cloud's hips. Zack immediately tugged Cloud back down so he could lean over
him, enjoying the dominance that his position held when Cloud was trapped
beneath him.
It didn't have to be said, but Cloud's initiative to want to move forward
quicker than Zack had initially planned switched on the raven-haired one's
more lustful side, but he had the right mind to not give into that just yet,
especially when they were just started.
He also reached behind his back, sparing a parting moment from holding Cloud
down again so he could pull off his own shirt, allowing that to simple slip
off his fingers to the ground as well. But violet eyes roamed over Cloud's
now bare chest, a faint look of fondness encircling him when a hand ran down
his chest, feeling over skin that had been tainted many time but was still
soft to the touch. Zack leaned down after some sort of muted admiration ran
through him - many things crossed his mind at the time, but he simply threw
them away in favor of not loosing himself in thought - and kissed the nape
of his neck, only just barely making contact with the one bruise already
showing on Cloud's skin. But he circled towards another spot and instantly
made his move to mirror the same actions he did once before.
Because Zack really liked the reaction he got out of him last time.
It was a sensitive spot he knew he'd always be able to get to, and this only
heightened his urge to bite down a little bit harder this time.
Watching Zack scrutinizing him appreciatively caused his momentarily
subdued shyness to return in full, and Cloud averted his gaze, eyes
downcast. He couldn't help feeling just a little self conscious - in
comparison to Zack, he felt incredibly pale and thin.
Even the slightest contact with the bruise, livid against the fairness of
his complexion, caused him to gasp in spite of himself. It was odd,
because Cloud was no stranger to pain, but now, it was as though the
entirety of his body had taken on an intense hypersensitivity. It didn't
help that the fact that Zack seemed intent on pinning him against the bed
left little space to no space between the two of them, and the
involuntary, inevitable slide of skin on skin caused a friction that was
nearly unbearable. Even worse was that Zack had apparently decided that he
wasn't satisfied with leaving only one mark, and had taken it upon himself
to produce another, while taking a much less controlled approach to it. As
such, the act illicited a similar, if not more exaggerated reaction as in
the previous instance; he hissed when he felt the pressure of Zack's teeth
against his skin, despite his valiant endeavors to suppress the need to be
vocal.
Zack almost grinned a little mischievously as he worked on the new spot he
was currently still attached to, feeling extremely pleased with the reaction
he was receiving from Cloud. It was hard for him to even think about moving
away from him since he was so intent on drawing out the hiss to form
something more, but he knew this wasn't good enough. But Zack, still being
as cheerfully teasing as much as he could, vexatiously wanted to get a plea
from Cloud if he could.
It was just the way he was, though. The mere thought of someone else
being vocal was always better than him having the honors of doing such. Zack
amazingly didn't like speaking or making any sort of noise, if he could hold
back that is, in bed. He received more pleasure from knowing his movements
were appreciated orally instead of the person giving anything back.
Especially in this case, since it was Cloud, and he wanted the other to be
pliant under him just because he liked the thought of, well, teaching him
things and watching how shy he could really be.
As Zack continued to suck and pry at the skin a hand snaked between the
already close proximity of their bodies and ran rough fingers down his side,
sliding up to rest on his hip before trailing down, barely touching anything
but his thighs. He stopped there though, not out of worrying that he'd be
pushing his luck so soon, but because he loved the thought of making barely
enough contact for Cloud to feel anything but at the same time
enough.
---
It was one thing to be taking things slowly, and quite another to be
teasing. Cloud was developing the strong suspicion that Zack was leaning
towards the latter, and he wasn't completely unjustified in thinking as
much. Any contact that Zack made with him was light, and carefully, almost
painstakingly fleeting - enough to set Cloud on edge, and enough to incite
the desire to experience more, but not enough to be anything but barely
substantial. And when Zack casually ran calloused fingers down the bare
skin of his side, he was helpless to prevent himself from arching
involuntarily with a gasp at the sensation. Worse yet was how he
stopped, leaving Cloud expectant and at a complete loss.
Bastard. He was enjoying it, reducing him to this; turning his initial
apprehension and need to go slowly into the entire opposite.
Amused slightly by the arc and gasp that he finally got out of Cloud, Zack
left the perfectly swollen redness now branded into pale skin, placing small
kisses around the area as he could almost feel the borderline
annoyance radiating off of the blond. He wanted to tell him to be patient,
but that would make Zack a hypocrite seeing as he was the one stopping
himself from doing things too quickly.
But the way he was allowed to explore around Cloud's body for the first
time, it wasn't like he was going to toss the idea of making a slow
progression. This was mainly for Cloud though so he had to remind himself to
not play too much or else the poor guy would probably go mad.
So with these thoughts in mind he let his hand drift into the inside of
Cloud's thigh, fingers loosely trailing up before coming to the clasp of the
other's belt. Inwardly, Zack cursed himself for not buying Cloud any new
pants earlier so he wouldn't have to wear his own that were surely too big
for him; belts were such a pain in this situation. But skilled fingers were
already fumbling with that, unhinging the clasps easily before that one hand
worked on the buttons and zipper.
It was a painfully slow sequence of movements that allowed him to finally
reach down and under Cloud's boxers, rough fingers fumbling skillfully with
the already semi-hard flesh that he greeted by wrapping his hand around it.
Zack stopped his lips from roaming around Cloud's upper abdomen and let his
other arm help him prop up a bit, violet eyes tracing Cloud's face as he
wanted to watch him in favor of tasting his flesh this time around.
Cloud swore involuntarily through gritted teeth. So Zack getting to the
point, not that he really minded. His breath hitched at the sight of him,
looking up at him with the most undescribable expression on his face, with
a gaze that spoke of barely leashed control, among other things. It was
quite possibly one of the most surreal, provocative things Cloud had ever
had the privilege of witnessing, and something he'd never imagined he'd
ever see, except, perhaps, in his wildest, most decadent dreams. Not that
he was going to admit to having had any of those, though the intensity of
his blush might have betrayed him.
Then again, a lot of things he hadn't ever expected to happen had
transpired today, and it would be redundant at this point to continue
thinking about how insane everything was, as thoughts of a similar nature
had occupied his mind for the majority of the day thus far. Again, he
didn't necessarily mind.
Now, though, Cloud was preoccupied with the embarassed realization that he
was getting hard just from looking at him, and resultantly, inwardly
cursed him for having this affect on him.
Zack, while watching the blond's reactions, nearly chuckled in
amusement but held himself back. Cloud's face, even though it was darker in
the room than it was anywhere else in the house, looked like it was about to
explode from overheating. But he had to admit to himself that it was a
beautiful sight, especially since all he usually got out of him was shy
glances on those rare times he did blush in front of Zack out in the open.
Right now though it was perfectly clear that Cloud was ready to move on,
according not only to the look that was portrayed on Cloud's face but the
further growing hardness in his own hand.
It pleased him even more to know that he didn't have to do too much so far
to turn Cloud on. Just looking at Zack was apparently enough, which he found
highly flattering if not attractive in itself. He was always such a shy and
withdrawn person at heart, you'd probably never guess that that was the case
at all in bed. You learn something new everyday, or so Zack claims and
probably always will.
Zack didn't look away but instead intensified his stare, wondering when and
if Cloud was going to look away as well. Even in this sort of situation,
Zack didn't get embarrassed easily. Him getting embarrassed was almost rarer
than him being able to cook something correctly, which was saying a lot. So
he let his hand slowly stroke the other's arousal, not really thinking on
his own at that moment in time, too fixated on Cloud's face and reactions
and possible vocal acceptance towards his painfully slow caressing on the
most sensitive spot on his body.
"Ha-ahh--" Cloud's expression contorted with the effort to maintain some
semblance of control; it was growing increasingly difficult with each
shuddery breath he took. Because even as each stroke was agonizingly slow,
and even though they'd just begun, it was impossible to deny that Zack
felt good. Obscenely good, and the fact that he was refusing to avert his
gaze did nothing to help.
He wouldn't last long, even at this pace.
Zack idly wondered to himself if he could go on for a bit longer or if he
would have to stop, because as much as he would like to go on and give Cloud
his own release, Zack really couldn't deny that he was getting antsy and
uncomfortable with his pants still on.
Plus, he still had yet to remove Cloud's, which would be a bit of a problem
if he were to move on.
As much as he didn't want to move away, there were still several articles of
clothing that needed to be discarded, and with that thought in mind he had
to let go so free hands could slide on over to the other's waist, knowing
with the action that Cloud would probably lift his hips in kind so he could
slide the remaining clothing off.
Slipping an apologetic kiss to Cloud's forehead for moving away, Zack
shifted on the bed rather awkwardly to try and get his own pants off. It
didn't take long before he kicked the leftover garments onto the floor,
getting back in place though hovered over Cloud for a moment before leaning
down, seeking his lips before pressing down a bit more firmly.
Was he done with his foreplay so soon? Oh no. Not in the least. It was
something Zack loved best, especially when Cloud kept shuttering and forming
noises that only made Zack longing for more. And since he didn't want to
keep him waiting nor push him over the edge so quickly, nimble fingers
instead slithered down an already heated stomach, very, very lightly
caressing Cloud's erection instead of acknowledging his own. He knew he
wouldn't be able to for very long, but he soon realized he was getting
greater pleasure out of knowing he was pleasing Cloud in a way that no one
else had ever done before.
As much as Cloud was disinclined to further render himself a complete
idiot, considering how much he had already managed to do so in one
evening, he found himself experiencing exceptional difficulty trying not
to stare too blatantly. He couldn't be blamed. Put succinctly, Zack was
very well built. Among other things.
How many girls would kill to be in his position? Small wonder that so many
of them had expressed a obsessive eagerness to separate Zack from his
pants - Cloud couldn't help reminiscing. It might have been an amusing
thought in retrospect, or a frightening one, considering he'd be the one
privileged enough to bear the brunt of said homicidal intentions. But he
couldn't say he wasn't willing to accept the burden. It was something else
to add to the ever extending list of reasons why Cloud didn't deserve the
likes of Zack; a superficial one, maybe, but an aspect of him that he
couldn't help appreciating nonetheless.
Too much, in fact, because this only proved effective in exponentially
heightening his arousal, which was doing nothing for him.
He was grateful for the ensuing kiss, because it provided momentary
distraction from what Zack was doing to him. Cloud also found that it was
easier to swallow his own whimpers when his mouth was occupied.
There were times where Zack wondered why Cloud didn't think he was worthy to
be his friend, and probably now why he was the one Zack chose above all
others. It was simple, really: Cloud was pure. He was shy, quiet, timid –
everything Zack was not. The sincere nature of Cloud made him all the
more appealing, especially since he wasn't one to open up to too many people
nor let them get as close to him as Zack had been able to.
Zack continually felt that excruciating need to protect him, or at least
look after him and make sure he was smiling; whatever he could do for him,
in short. And why couldn't anyone see what Zack saw in Cloud? How
could they not see how beautiful of a person he was, inside and out? Maybe
Zack was better than most people at pointing out other's strong points when
they thought they had none, but Zack didn't abuse the trust other's had in
him. He was honest with his words. He wasn't one to say things just to make
people feel better, unless the situation called for it. But 99% of the time
he absolutely meant every word that he said in the most genuine manner as
possible.
Abnormally so with Cloud, though. Because he deserved to not be betrayed or
deceived or led on when hopes might be high. Damn anybody that would, or
has in the past, attempt to do that to him.
Too many thoughts like these were running through Zack's mind and he had to
break it off or else he would find himself giving Cloud one of his bear
hugs. Instead he gently broke the kiss, one hand lifting up to soothingly
smooth calloused fingers down his cheek. Zack really wasn't so keen on
moving away from Cloud again, but it had to be done. So after a moment or
two of simply watching him he once again left Cloud in favor of turning away
towards his dresser drawer.
It wasn't like he didn't have essentials with him if things like this had
ever happened. Of course, he didn't have to worry about it for years, but
Zack was an extremely careful person and kept things around in those
just-in-case situations. He wouldn't be having sex otherwise, no matter how
tempting it was.
Zack found what he was looking for after a passing moment went by,
unscrewing the top of the bottle to apply his fingers accordingly with cool
liquid. He looked acutely concentrated in these few moments, wanting to be
extra careful and make it as painless as he could for Cloud. Any thought of
inflicting pain upon him intentionally made him hesitate, but he knew it
wasn't in a deleterious way so instead concentration was key.
And instead of moving forward with his primary plan, Zack shifted so he was
in between Cloud's legs but arched over a bit so his face was in close
proximity to the blond's. He gave an encouraging and soft look into azure
eyes, murmuring with utmost care, “This'll sting a little, but just relax,
okay?” Forewarnings were necessary, a preeminent thing worth saying before
he continued.
Cloud nodded wordlessly in response, returning Zack's gaze with one that told the other that he had his full, earnest trust. He meant it. Though he might have been a little afraid or had his usual misgivings, as was his inherent tendency, the majority of his initial nervousness had been dispelled by the assurance that Zack unconsciously provided, just by being himself - Zack, and not someone else. Because he wouldn't have had anyone else. Besides, he could take it. It was a small sacrifice in wake of everything Zack had done for him. Barely anything at all, in fact. So he further demonstrated his cooperation by pointedly shifting his thighs apart to grant Zack better access.
There was a smile then and Zack felt a little more reassured that Cloud was
more willing to accept everything – not just this – but everything that has
happened that day. It was amazing, really, how many things could happen in
such a short amount of time, but he found himself perfectly comfortable with
it all. Then again, Zack was more than comfortable with a lot of things that
might have irked others, but that was just in his nature.
As soon as Cloud spread his thighs a bit wider, Zack didn't take much time
to move his hand towards the other's entrance, slowly, very slowly
sliding one well lubricated finger in half-way. He paused though, his eyes
still on Cloud, waiting to make sure he adjusted to that, as he once again
reminded himself that, yes, this would sting. And then some later on.
The intrusion, though slow and painstakingly careful, was an entirely unexpected sensation. Though frankly, Cloud wasn't sure what he should have expected. It wasn't bad, so much as it was quite possibly the strangest thing, and Cloud fought to relax, because he knew it would make it easier for both of them.
Zack was thankful for Cloud's attempt to relax, because he was right, it
made it easier for the both of them. And as much as he wanted to move on
quickly, things like this took time. Rushing would only bring more than
enough pain, and Cloud would suffer in the long-run because of it.
So although he slid his finger in to his knuckle, he paused for a moment or
so to allow him to adjust. It didn't take him long before he inserted
another, careful with his angling and going over the exact preparations and
actions that should be made. Again, wasn't like Zack had never had sex with
men before, but most of the time it was women and that was much
easier considering. But he wasn't a fool and wouldn't take anything lightly,
especially since this was Cloud and not just someone random that he didn't
know and spent only one night with and then never spoke to them again.
He knew he was going painfully slow, but Zack couldn't help it.
There was a few seconds where he simply watched Cloud's face, still feeling
tension but that was to be expected. Then after a moment of realizing he
should move forward again, Zack used those two fingers to scissor his still
tight entrance, not growing impatient but just more comfortable with being
able to press on further.
But he only continued with these movements until he upped the count to
three, however this time stopped just as soon as he started, violet eyes
tracing up Cloud's body before leaning down to press small kisses around his
jawline.
Perhaps a little unsurprisingly, Cloud found himself adjusting with relative ease, more or less due to the way Zack was taking an approach to this that might have been appropriate for handling something incredibly fragile, which Cloud was convinced was truly unnecessary. The initial strangeness of it had subsided somewhat; it was something that he could definitely deal with, and though it didn't feel particularly good, it certainly wasn't bad, either.
He immediately realized the mistake in believing this when he felt Zack's fingers graze something inside him, whether deliberately or by mistake, that made him tense and gasp, eyes widening, his white-knuckled fingers fisting the bedsheets with the intensity of sensation that the contact induced. He didn't understand it, but he did know that it was good - far better than anything he could ever remember experiencing. Almost too much. "Zack, Zack," he managed to gasp out in plea, in between panting for breath, though he was barely coherent.
The way his name was said, Zack concluded after short thought, would be an
addiction he'd get used to in no time at all. He even received a shiver of
some kind of longing down his spine, making Zack feel more impatient than he
was used to being. But it was to be expected with Zack, though he had his
doubts that he could last much longer.
Since Cloud already seemed more than ready, he pulled his fingers out and
reached over to nab the tube of lube again, squeezing more than enough into
his palm as his eyes kept on the beautiful sight in front of him.
Zack tossed the emptied tube carelessly on the floor, having to bite down on
his lip to control and hold back a groan as he coated himself, body shaking
ever so slightly though he stopped himself, wiping away the excess mess on
top of the comforter without another thought.
He allowed himself a moment to shift on the bed, hands sliding down Cloud's
sides to come up towards his hips to pull them a bit closer while taking a
rather shaky breath to steady himself. Zack's eyes never left the other's
face as he entered him, slowly but carefully, allowing the breath that he
just took to leave him as his coherency was on it's last thread of hope
towards staying with him through the process.
As bereft as he was from the loss of contact once Zack withdrew his fingers, Cloud was glad that he was moving on, because he knew that thus far, Zack had been making a point of neglecting his own needs in favor of fulfilling Cloud's, and this was his chance to give back. It was incensing, watching Zack fight so desperately to maintain composure while he was visibly on the verge of losing it. Especially when Cloud, too, had no idea how long it'd be before he lost himself, if this kept up.
So he expended the last of his self control in an effort to accept Zack as best he could, heaving a shuddery sigh in an attempt to relax. With some degree of difficulty, he released the sheets he'd been clenching for support up until now in favor of wrapping his arms around Zack's neck and pulling him closer, further eliminating the gap between their bodies. If Zack had been denying himself up until now, he'd damn well be compensated in full; Cloud would make certain of that.
It was almost sweet how much Cloud wanted to make this good for Zack, and
Zack felt a bit rapacious for his avid need to take his time on pleasing
Cloud before the other had the chance to do the same. It was a little
insensitive of him, now that he thought about it (with great difficulty)
since it was like denying him to try and do something nice for the
raven-haired man.
So now he caved, allowing Cloud to pull him closer as his own arms consumed
the smaller body beneath him to tug them a bit closer, if it was at all
possible. Although it was nice, it changed Zack's intrusion significantly,
the angle a bit of an awkward one but soon that'd be gone after those small,
arduous moments of a pause.
Zack felt a surge of overwrought passion soon consuming him, pushing himself
a bit further in while eyes closed as the sensation took over. But he wasn't
inattentive towards Cloud just yet, mind focusing back to that for but a
split second, reminding himself that even though Cloud was a grown man and
fully capable of taking this in full, he was still at the mercy of his
strength that even Zack sometimes forgot he had.
Admittedly, it was an unnatural feeling - like being too full, and being stretched just so that he was at breaking point but not quite, and the awkward
change in angle was causing him to tilt his hips involuntarily to accomodate. Above all, though, Cloud felt an odd, perhaps obscene pride in knowing
that he could take this; that he could take him, and that he was strong enough for at least that. It was a strange thing to take pride in, but Cloud
did so nonetheless. And he enjoyed this proximity, being enveloped in his arms and against his bare skin, and having Zack inside him, because he
knew it didn't get much closer than this, and that was the purest ecstasy in itself.
Zack, even if he was thinking with incoherency at the time, found himself
feeling extraordinarily lucky. Cloud, the person who was so selective on who
he let get close to him, was finally in his arms and conclusively his and
his alone. And allowing Zack to take such intimate steps, slow or not, it
probably wouldn't have been believable to the ears of someone that hardly,
or perhaps the opposite of that, knew Cloud.
And maybe Cloud didn't perceive this at all, but it was, in the end,
something Zack valued above anything else.
It was almost as if he craved the kind of attention he got from him, much
like he craved to hear his name being uttered again and again, until there
was no reason to or until Cloud was out of breath or otherwise.
He knew just staying still wouldn't give him his drug and primarily satisfy
this nagging thirst, as well as Cloud's, with all due respect. So Zack
slowly pulled out so he wasn't nearly all the way in, but just as soon as he
moved he pushed back in with muted effort, finally able to find himself at a
pace that wasn't too fast, but wasn't too slow either. Besides, he was too
transfixed on letting heavy-lidded eyes open so he could gaze upon Cloud's
face, allowing him to see his reactions and the slight form of twisted
ecstasy that he longed for.
When Zack began moving, all rational thought that might have occupied Cloud's mind immediately dissipated and was promptly replaced with the
simple desire to be brought to completion. He was helpless to focus on anything outside of what he was feeling now; it became impossible not to
shamelessly arch to meet each thrust and dig his fingernails into the skin of Zack's back, if he knew it meant being overcome with what he could
only describe as the sharpest, sweetest pleasure/pain he could possibly ever know, that only intensified with each erratic breath he took, among
other feelings that he couldn't identify and didn't necessarily care to at the moment, especially once he'd shifted enough to secure an angle that
was most favorable to him. It hadn't been a difficult affair, as Zack, Cloud quickly decided, despite the distinct lack of coherent thought remaining in
his consciousness, felt good to begin with, and more so than he really had the right to.
As difficult as it was to not close his eyes they involuntarily shut,
immediately satisfied with the way Cloud attempted to arch into his deep
lunges. And the fingernails that dug into his skin stung a little, but it
made it all the more pleasurable in the long-run, he quickly decided without
another thought. Besides, it only reminded him that Cloud was enjoying it,
and that only made him even more aroused and content with their positioning.
Zack found himself, after a few minutes of getting used to the conscious
enjoyment that everything around them held, trailing his tongue along the
nape of Cloud's neck, offering more than just swift thrusts as he knew he
could be doing more than just this, but made an conscious effort at not
overstimulating them both. But he let teeth sink into warm, heated flesh;
not hard enough to do any damage of course, but enough for him to taste him,
mark him - it didn't matter, because Cloud felt so damn good, better than
anybody else he's had, and the thought of marking him over and over again in
different ways just made Zack feel all the more possessive.
Feeling Zack brand him for the third time left Cloud on the verge of going
completely undone, because it was too much; too much for his already
over-sensitized flesh, too much to feel the quickening of Zack's pace, too
much delicious, maddening friction. At the same time, though, while he
felt like he'd break if he had to take this for another second, he never
wanted it to end, and he knew that if this kept up, it'd be over soon. Too
soon - forever wasn't enough - and it wasn't long before Cloud became
dimly aware of himself hoarsely chanting his name over and over again,
like it was the only thing that could keep him sane, which was insane in
itself.
The drug, the addiction, the stimulation - Cloud's words did a lot to Zack,
curing the first two and only heightening the third. The pleasure was
maddening as was the continuing taste of pale but red skin between his
mouth, though he released that in favor of finally brushing his own lips
against Cloud's, simply hovered to listen to his husky cries as he was
finally overcome with blind passion and single-minded intent. And as much as
he himself wanted it to just end, he also wanted it to continue and never
stop, highly enjoying the way Cloud felt, the taste, the things he wasn't
able to have before but could have now and wouldn't let any of it go for the
world.
But he wasn't finished. No, Zack could do so much more right now as he
realized that he was ignoring one simple thing. So one arm released its hold
on Cloud's body, cold air brushing against his now free limb as his hand
sought blindly for the other's arousal, finally grasping it in his palm
while the ball of his thumb pressed firmly against its tip as he continued
his series of deep lunges.
Nothing could have adequately prepared Cloud for that, which only added
immensely to the plethora of sensations he was already being overwhelmed
with. So much, in fact, that it proved the final straw in driving him over
the edge, because it wasn't long before he came with a strangled gasp, his
consciousness faltering from the intensity of it; it was only a miracle
that kept him from blacking out completely.
He realized vaguely that he had come all over Zack's hand, but couldn't
really be bothered to care at that exact moment.
Zack had been shamelessly holding out until Cloud went over the edge just so
he could, through lust-drugged violet eyes, watch him with as much conscious
effort as he could spare. But after the gasp and the feeling of warm liquid
in his hand plus the constricted pressure against his erection, he realized
he was at his limit.
With a few more slow, deep thrusts, Zack found himself on the brink of a
mind-blowing orgasm, finding himself unable to hold back a deep moan in the
back of his throat as he came. Zack stayed where he was so he could place
soft, breathless kisses along Cloud's bruised neck, making sure he was soft
enough to pull out of the other and Cloud's somewhat tight grip
around his neck. Not a second later he lazily fell to the side, one arm
loosely hooked around the blond's waist as he attempted to catch his breath.
Cloud was only grateful that Zack had possessed the grace to refrain from collapsing on his person, because he could only imagine what it would feel like to be crushed beneath him. He could tolerate a little pain, even in his somewhat dazed state, but Zack's case was exceptional. Little else could really register in his mind at the moment.
As much as Zack really didn't want to think about it, he knew they should
really take a shower, but as he glanced on over to Cloud he decided he
wasn't going to be moving anywhere anytime soon.
So with that he tugged on the covers a bit, kicking off the comforter in the
process with amazing skill that he shouldn't have while being as tired as he
was. Zack also took a quick chance to wipe his hand on said comforter before
it rolled to their feet, a lazy attempt to clean said hand but had more
interesting things to focus on right now, such as making sure Cloud was
under the covers with him and into his arms before the both of them
had the chance to pass out from exhaustion.
Zack craned his neck down after finding a comfortable position, placing a
kiss on top of Cloud's sweat-soaked forehead, nuzzling blond hair while he
murmured in a nearly unheard voice, “I love you.” Sure, it was a little
slurred, but he meant it in the best way possible. And oh, how good it felt
to be able to say those words without them being in a teasing manner.
It was truly beyond Cloud, how Zack found the energy to move. Because in spite of how much a shower would have benefited the both of them, considering how the entirety of his skin was still slick with sweat among other things, Cloud found that moving was quite possibly the last thing among his priorities. So he was eternally grateful that Zack didn't seem intent on moving much either, and contented himself with melding bonelessly against him, in preparation for promptly passing out for the rest of the night, and quite possibly, the morning.What made him happier, though, and unspeakably so, were Zack's final words. He was quickly deciding that he'd never get tired of hearing them, and though the "I love you" he mumbled in response was barely discernable, the sentiment was there, or as much as it could have been in his state.
Rating; NC-17
Characters; Zack |
yourarmor & Cloud | conflictiveSummary; They do it.
NOTE; This log kind of defies LJ's entry word limit, so it's been split up into three or so parts. >: Sorry!
Log;
Cloud instinctively wrapped his arms around Zack's neck as he was swept
off his feet without warning, as though fearing he might fall, though he
knew that he wouldn't, not if Zack was there to catch him.
So Zack had to do things his way, even when it came to this. He had that
look of utter self satisfaction on his face; the one that said he'd won,
and
that he was damned proud of it. Then again, it wouldn't be him otherwise.
Cloud might have even rolled his eyes and said something sarcastic, had
the situation been different. Somehow, though, he was more preoccupied
with being surprised that Zack could still carry him as effortlessly as
ever, just as he been so fond of doing when they had both been younger.
Did this make Cloud the prize? It was amusing, thinking of it that way.
Nonetheless, it pleased him to be valued so highly, when he'd spent the
greater part of his life trying to accept his own lack of worth. It seemed
that only Zack was capable of bringing him this happiness, the kind that
needed no explanations and made no compromises. The kind that made life
worth living, and something Cloud had done without for quite some time
now, until recently.
When they'd been young, and Zack had attempted to pull something like
this, Cloud would have struggled and let fly a colorful array of scathing
threats, in demand for his release. It had just been his way. Now, though,
he was content with keeping his arms entwined around Zack's neck and
resting his head against his chest until they reached their destination,
the location of which Cloud had little doubt.
Zack half-expected Cloud to spit at least one sarcastic word out or wiggle
or do something other than just cooperate with a typical 'Zack moment', so
he was mildly surprised when Cloud simply relaxed and went with the flow. Of
course, Zack didn't let his surprise show at all, because what was the fun
in that?
It was amusing, how much things changed in so many years, and yet nothing
changed at all at the same time. Zack didn't know if he should think more on
this or not, because his gut instinct told him that this was just the way
things were. And Zack was happy with it, because for some reason he, at
times, wondered if it were at all possible that Cloud and he should ever
meet again that the blond would remember him. A silly thought of course, but
Zack was a curious individual, and even more curiosity arose every now and
then when he arrived in The City. There were ways you could visit your
homeland or at least take a peek into it, and Zack had been tempted to for
the longest time.
But an equal exchange for such a thing was always necessary. Zack didn't
have much to give, and when it came to memories he was more than willing to
give up little pointless things, but it had to be big if it were a bigger
wish. But even if he did want to return back to Midgar and see Cloud, even
if it were just for a day, he would've had to have a physical body to go
back into. Zack, unfortunately, didn't have that privilege like most other
people did. So there was no way he could do that.
Years passed by before Aerith came along and Zack thought she just somehow
walked into The City, but when she explained what happened in as little
detail as possible, Zack realized they were both stuck there. Forever. And
he honestly didn't mind it because it meant there was still a chance he
could meet Cloud again. As selfish as it was for him to think so, he did
long for him to randomly step into The City at random, so you could only
imagine his surprise when he actually did. He hid that surprise though in
favor of simply playing it cool, so everything worked out well.
But before that he made a big decision. It wasn't long ago when he did this,
but he went back to Dorian and told the woman what he wanted and, yes, it
was a hefty price to pay. But he couldn't stand it any longer, not with the
thought of not only himself gone to watch over Cloud, but also Aerith now.
Yes, he could have more people with him, but Zack could tell that Aerith and
he had gotten close, because Aerith spoke about Cloud in the same fondness
that Zack did.
And this was at random too, after much thought throughout two years. If he
had no physical body to go back in, then he'd make one himself. Not a human
of course, because that'd be not only difficult but not something he wanted
to do, but something, anything else that could move.
And he did, in the form of a wolf. But sadly he was half-coherent, barely
remembered most of the things he saw, but he was there. For however short of
a time he was, it didn't matter, because he was there and he saw things with
his own two eyes (or, rather, another host's eyes) and was perfectly fine
trailing after Cloud in an attempt to catch up with him somehow. Zack didn't
have any luck of course because things changed so damn much and finding his
way around was... difficult, so to say. But it was sort of
frustrating that he couldn't keep up but was always right behind
Cloud, but not in a sense where he was anywhere physically close to him.
And did he learn a lot when there? No, not really. But it was because he
decided so many years back that he wanted to hear everything from Cloud if
they were able to meet once again. Zack felt it was the right thing to do.
But you couldn't blame him for not only his curiosity over what was going
on, but his curiosity of wondering if Cloud was alright, if he was safe and,
heck, if he was eating his vegetables and wasn't scowling at a glass of
milk.
Although he remembered some things, there were still large gaps in his
memory where he wasn't sure what went on, especially at the end of his
'trip'. Oh, how he longed to remember, but maybe it was for the best.
Besides, he had Cloud with him now. He couldn't ask for anything more in the
world, because his world was already in his arms.
Zack would've said all these things to Cloud if he really wanted to. Half of
him was itching to, and half of him wanted some of that to be a secret. It
was something he wanted to keep to himself.
Carefully opening the door and even more carefully stepping in side-ways so
he wouldn't do any damage to Cloud accidentally, Zack moved on over towards
the bed (absently kicking something out of the way, which was probably
clothes from a day ago that he promptly 'forgot' to pick up) and gently
placed him down on the bed. Had they been younger he would've tossed him
unceremoniously while laughing loudly at how much Cloud cursed at him.
Thankfully this was a whole new situation, and Zack thanked whatever deity
there was that this was all playing out very, very smoothly.
As soon as Cloud was down on the bed Zack also hopped on, grinning a little
bit towards the blond but it slowly turned into a softer smile. A hand
reached out and smoothed back soft hair and he stared at him a moment,
perfectly comfortable in the fact that they were both already so close and
that he could look him in the eye and keep looking for however long he
wanted. Usually people would break gazes after a while, and Zack actually
liked it when Cloud got shy after a moment and turned his head away, because
he was fond of that part of him more than the other might know.
And as much as Zack just wanted to jump in on this, he liked taking the time
to soothingly rake his fingers through Cloud's hair, trailing it over his
face, down his neck, over his shoulders; it was a feeling he couldn't
exactly describe, and it probably didn't need to be described anyway.
Cloud would have been content with simply lying there next to him, gazing
at him shyly through eyelashes and letting him stroke his hair in that way
of his. Another moment that he wished would last forever, but there wasn't
time for that.
He wasn't sure what was going to happen next, or what he should have been
expecting, much less what he was supposed to be doing - thus far, he'd
been depending on Zack to lead, which he seemed satisfied enough with
doing. And it was a little overwhelming, thinking about it. Nonetheless,
Cloud wanted to give back, because this was supposed to be mutual. He just
didn't know how. He had nothing to offer outside of his full compliance
and fervent desire to please, and he could only hope this was adequate.
Because no one else could have him like Zack did, and he could never want
anyone as much as he wanted Zack. Even if this was something the other had
yet to realize.
And it hurt, how Zack was handling him with a reverence that made it seem
as though he would shatter into a thousand pieces at any given second, and
knowing that Zack was going slow only for him, because Cloud knew that it
was outside of Zack's nature to take his time with anything, save for a
few exceptions. Still self-sacrificing, even when it came to these things.
And Cloud wanted to express his gratitude, more than anything.
So he decided that he was going to make this good for Zack. So good
that he wouldn't be able to think straight afterwards, and Cloud wouldn't
be satisfied with anything less, because Zack deserved as much. He had no
idea how it was going to happen or what he was going to do, but he had all
faith that he could depend on fierce determination and manage, somehow.
To be quite sincere, determination was a somewhat big part of going about
doing this, and if he had heard Cloud's thoughts at that moment in time,
Zack would've either laughed at him or completely jumped all over him
without another word. But he was patient despite that, because his goal was
to please Cloud. And it was actually pretty amusing how the both of them
were so set on pleasing one another with everything they did, yet
Cloud was more subtle and awkward about it while Zack was sort of out there
and spoke his mind at random. They were complete opposites, but one in the
same; Zack was pleased with that immensely, and had no words to describe how
much it made him happy.
But before he went into that any more, he smiled a bit wider at the somewhat
determined flash that shined in Cloud's eyes quickly. Zack was able to spot
that at any time, just because he always thought it was adorable how he
tried to meet such high goals even if he had doubts that he could even meet
them. But there was no “goal” to be met here, no reason to be so determined
to make this good for Zack, because just laying that was good enough for
him. Just kissing him, holding his hand, small things were perfectly fine
and Zack had no problem with just that. Though since Cloud committed and was
quite agreeable in the position they were currently in, Zack wasn't going to
let him just lay there to wait and worry if Zack was having second thoughts
on this.
No, it was far from that. He was just taking his time and was enjoying every
minute of it.
Though he shifted a bit on the bed so he was now on top of the other,
careful to balance on his legs and elbows so he wouldn't crush the poor guy
without thinking about it. And even though it was tempting to rip off both
of their clothing really quickly and just get on with it, Zack loved to take
the time to use the hand that was currently tangled in blond hair out of
said hair, drifting it down as fingers lightly brushed his lips, his neck,
slowing making his way down to the edge of Cloud's shirt--his own
shirt, rather--to trace fine circles around his naval area.
There were things he wanted to see and sounds he wanted to hear, and every
single part of Cloud's body was his for the taking, so he was going to take
the opportunity to find out what pleased the blond. This was his first time
doing this, and for Zack it wasn't. And Zack had to agree with whoever said
sex was supposed to be special, because it was true, but Zack didn't have
the honor of having that sort of situation come upon him. So he put it on
himself to make this last, to make it as less painful than it would
be for those few minutes that will surely cause Cloud discomfort, and to
only focus on Cloud's feelings; to put himself in his shoes and know that
what he was doing was good and not bad.
So as soon as he was satisfied with simply outlining the curves of the
blond's stomach, Zack placed his hand firmly down and slipped a hand under
his shirt, finally making it farther than just his lower abdominal area,
lightly brushing over his chest and nipples before craning his head down to
claim Cloud's lips once more.
In turn, Cloud tilted his head upward to accept Zack's kiss in perfect
acquiescence, closing his eyes again, while attempting to ignore the
incessant pounding of his own heart. His arms encircled Zack's neck in a
loose embrace. The kiss was slow, languorous; deliberate, much like all of
Zack's actions at the moment.
This time, Cloud broke contact first, albeit with reluctance, pulling away
so he could slide from underneath him into something of a sitting position
again. He raised his arms above his head, beckoning Zack to pull the shirt
over and off of him.
Zack took no time in promptly prying Cloud's shirt off, slipping it over his
head to carelessly toss it to the floor, or where ever it landed in the end.
He didn't pause in his movements when once again laying a soft kiss on his
lips, but barely in an almost teasing manner before nipping at his bottom
lip, tongue lining that in one swift motion as his hands firmly grasped
Cloud's hips. Zack immediately tugged Cloud back down so he could lean over
him, enjoying the dominance that his position held when Cloud was trapped
beneath him.
It didn't have to be said, but Cloud's initiative to want to move forward
quicker than Zack had initially planned switched on the raven-haired one's
more lustful side, but he had the right mind to not give into that just yet,
especially when they were just started.
He also reached behind his back, sparing a parting moment from holding Cloud
down again so he could pull off his own shirt, allowing that to simple slip
off his fingers to the ground as well. But violet eyes roamed over Cloud's
now bare chest, a faint look of fondness encircling him when a hand ran down
his chest, feeling over skin that had been tainted many time but was still
soft to the touch. Zack leaned down after some sort of muted admiration ran
through him - many things crossed his mind at the time, but he simply threw
them away in favor of not loosing himself in thought - and kissed the nape
of his neck, only just barely making contact with the one bruise already
showing on Cloud's skin. But he circled towards another spot and instantly
made his move to mirror the same actions he did once before.
Because Zack really liked the reaction he got out of him last time.
It was a sensitive spot he knew he'd always be able to get to, and this only
heightened his urge to bite down a little bit harder this time.
Watching Zack scrutinizing him appreciatively caused his momentarily
subdued shyness to return in full, and Cloud averted his gaze, eyes
downcast. He couldn't help feeling just a little self conscious - in
comparison to Zack, he felt incredibly pale and thin.
Even the slightest contact with the bruise, livid against the fairness of
his complexion, caused him to gasp in spite of himself. It was odd,
because Cloud was no stranger to pain, but now, it was as though the
entirety of his body had taken on an intense hypersensitivity. It didn't
help that the fact that Zack seemed intent on pinning him against the bed
left little space to no space between the two of them, and the
involuntary, inevitable slide of skin on skin caused a friction that was
nearly unbearable. Even worse was that Zack had apparently decided that he
wasn't satisfied with leaving only one mark, and had taken it upon himself
to produce another, while taking a much less controlled approach to it. As
such, the act illicited a similar, if not more exaggerated reaction as in
the previous instance; he hissed when he felt the pressure of Zack's teeth
against his skin, despite his valiant endeavors to suppress the need to be
vocal.
Zack almost grinned a little mischievously as he worked on the new spot he
was currently still attached to, feeling extremely pleased with the reaction
he was receiving from Cloud. It was hard for him to even think about moving
away from him since he was so intent on drawing out the hiss to form
something more, but he knew this wasn't good enough. But Zack, still being
as cheerfully teasing as much as he could, vexatiously wanted to get a plea
from Cloud if he could.
It was just the way he was, though. The mere thought of someone else
being vocal was always better than him having the honors of doing such. Zack
amazingly didn't like speaking or making any sort of noise, if he could hold
back that is, in bed. He received more pleasure from knowing his movements
were appreciated orally instead of the person giving anything back.
Especially in this case, since it was Cloud, and he wanted the other to be
pliant under him just because he liked the thought of, well, teaching him
things and watching how shy he could really be.
As Zack continued to suck and pry at the skin a hand snaked between the
already close proximity of their bodies and ran rough fingers down his side,
sliding up to rest on his hip before trailing down, barely touching anything
but his thighs. He stopped there though, not out of worrying that he'd be
pushing his luck so soon, but because he loved the thought of making barely
enough contact for Cloud to feel anything but at the same time
enough.
---
It was one thing to be taking things slowly, and quite another to be
teasing. Cloud was developing the strong suspicion that Zack was leaning
towards the latter, and he wasn't completely unjustified in thinking as
much. Any contact that Zack made with him was light, and carefully, almost
painstakingly fleeting - enough to set Cloud on edge, and enough to incite
the desire to experience more, but not enough to be anything but barely
substantial. And when Zack casually ran calloused fingers down the bare
skin of his side, he was helpless to prevent himself from arching
involuntarily with a gasp at the sensation. Worse yet was how he
stopped, leaving Cloud expectant and at a complete loss.
Bastard. He was enjoying it, reducing him to this; turning his initial
apprehension and need to go slowly into the entire opposite.
Amused slightly by the arc and gasp that he finally got out of Cloud, Zack
left the perfectly swollen redness now branded into pale skin, placing small
kisses around the area as he could almost feel the borderline
annoyance radiating off of the blond. He wanted to tell him to be patient,
but that would make Zack a hypocrite seeing as he was the one stopping
himself from doing things too quickly.
But the way he was allowed to explore around Cloud's body for the first
time, it wasn't like he was going to toss the idea of making a slow
progression. This was mainly for Cloud though so he had to remind himself to
not play too much or else the poor guy would probably go mad.
So with these thoughts in mind he let his hand drift into the inside of
Cloud's thigh, fingers loosely trailing up before coming to the clasp of the
other's belt. Inwardly, Zack cursed himself for not buying Cloud any new
pants earlier so he wouldn't have to wear his own that were surely too big
for him; belts were such a pain in this situation. But skilled fingers were
already fumbling with that, unhinging the clasps easily before that one hand
worked on the buttons and zipper.
It was a painfully slow sequence of movements that allowed him to finally
reach down and under Cloud's boxers, rough fingers fumbling skillfully with
the already semi-hard flesh that he greeted by wrapping his hand around it.
Zack stopped his lips from roaming around Cloud's upper abdomen and let his
other arm help him prop up a bit, violet eyes tracing Cloud's face as he
wanted to watch him in favor of tasting his flesh this time around.
Cloud swore involuntarily through gritted teeth. So Zack getting to the
point, not that he really minded. His breath hitched at the sight of him,
looking up at him with the most undescribable expression on his face, with
a gaze that spoke of barely leashed control, among other things. It was
quite possibly one of the most surreal, provocative things Cloud had ever
had the privilege of witnessing, and something he'd never imagined he'd
ever see, except, perhaps, in his wildest, most decadent dreams. Not that
he was going to admit to having had any of those, though the intensity of
his blush might have betrayed him.
Then again, a lot of things he hadn't ever expected to happen had
transpired today, and it would be redundant at this point to continue
thinking about how insane everything was, as thoughts of a similar nature
had occupied his mind for the majority of the day thus far. Again, he
didn't necessarily mind.
Now, though, Cloud was preoccupied with the embarassed realization that he
was getting hard just from looking at him, and resultantly, inwardly
cursed him for having this affect on him.
Zack, while watching the blond's reactions, nearly chuckled in
amusement but held himself back. Cloud's face, even though it was darker in
the room than it was anywhere else in the house, looked like it was about to
explode from overheating. But he had to admit to himself that it was a
beautiful sight, especially since all he usually got out of him was shy
glances on those rare times he did blush in front of Zack out in the open.
Right now though it was perfectly clear that Cloud was ready to move on,
according not only to the look that was portrayed on Cloud's face but the
further growing hardness in his own hand.
It pleased him even more to know that he didn't have to do too much so far
to turn Cloud on. Just looking at Zack was apparently enough, which he found
highly flattering if not attractive in itself. He was always such a shy and
withdrawn person at heart, you'd probably never guess that that was the case
at all in bed. You learn something new everyday, or so Zack claims and
probably always will.
Zack didn't look away but instead intensified his stare, wondering when and
if Cloud was going to look away as well. Even in this sort of situation,
Zack didn't get embarrassed easily. Him getting embarrassed was almost rarer
than him being able to cook something correctly, which was saying a lot. So
he let his hand slowly stroke the other's arousal, not really thinking on
his own at that moment in time, too fixated on Cloud's face and reactions
and possible vocal acceptance towards his painfully slow caressing on the
most sensitive spot on his body.
"Ha-ahh--" Cloud's expression contorted with the effort to maintain some
semblance of control; it was growing increasingly difficult with each
shuddery breath he took. Because even as each stroke was agonizingly slow,
and even though they'd just begun, it was impossible to deny that Zack
felt good. Obscenely good, and the fact that he was refusing to avert his
gaze did nothing to help.
He wouldn't last long, even at this pace.
Zack idly wondered to himself if he could go on for a bit longer or if he
would have to stop, because as much as he would like to go on and give Cloud
his own release, Zack really couldn't deny that he was getting antsy and
uncomfortable with his pants still on.
Plus, he still had yet to remove Cloud's, which would be a bit of a problem
if he were to move on.
As much as he didn't want to move away, there were still several articles of
clothing that needed to be discarded, and with that thought in mind he had
to let go so free hands could slide on over to the other's waist, knowing
with the action that Cloud would probably lift his hips in kind so he could
slide the remaining clothing off.
Slipping an apologetic kiss to Cloud's forehead for moving away, Zack
shifted on the bed rather awkwardly to try and get his own pants off. It
didn't take long before he kicked the leftover garments onto the floor,
getting back in place though hovered over Cloud for a moment before leaning
down, seeking his lips before pressing down a bit more firmly.
Was he done with his foreplay so soon? Oh no. Not in the least. It was
something Zack loved best, especially when Cloud kept shuttering and forming
noises that only made Zack longing for more. And since he didn't want to
keep him waiting nor push him over the edge so quickly, nimble fingers
instead slithered down an already heated stomach, very, very lightly
caressing Cloud's erection instead of acknowledging his own. He knew he
wouldn't be able to for very long, but he soon realized he was getting
greater pleasure out of knowing he was pleasing Cloud in a way that no one
else had ever done before.
As much as Cloud was disinclined to further render himself a complete
idiot, considering how much he had already managed to do so in one
evening, he found himself experiencing exceptional difficulty trying not
to stare too blatantly. He couldn't be blamed. Put succinctly, Zack was
very well built. Among other things.
How many girls would kill to be in his position? Small wonder that so many
of them had expressed a obsessive eagerness to separate Zack from his
pants - Cloud couldn't help reminiscing. It might have been an amusing
thought in retrospect, or a frightening one, considering he'd be the one
privileged enough to bear the brunt of said homicidal intentions. But he
couldn't say he wasn't willing to accept the burden. It was something else
to add to the ever extending list of reasons why Cloud didn't deserve the
likes of Zack; a superficial one, maybe, but an aspect of him that he
couldn't help appreciating nonetheless.
Too much, in fact, because this only proved effective in exponentially
heightening his arousal, which was doing nothing for him.
He was grateful for the ensuing kiss, because it provided momentary
distraction from what Zack was doing to him. Cloud also found that it was
easier to swallow his own whimpers when his mouth was occupied.
There were times where Zack wondered why Cloud didn't think he was worthy to
be his friend, and probably now why he was the one Zack chose above all
others. It was simple, really: Cloud was pure. He was shy, quiet, timid –
everything Zack was not. The sincere nature of Cloud made him all the
more appealing, especially since he wasn't one to open up to too many people
nor let them get as close to him as Zack had been able to.
Zack continually felt that excruciating need to protect him, or at least
look after him and make sure he was smiling; whatever he could do for him,
in short. And why couldn't anyone see what Zack saw in Cloud? How
could they not see how beautiful of a person he was, inside and out? Maybe
Zack was better than most people at pointing out other's strong points when
they thought they had none, but Zack didn't abuse the trust other's had in
him. He was honest with his words. He wasn't one to say things just to make
people feel better, unless the situation called for it. But 99% of the time
he absolutely meant every word that he said in the most genuine manner as
possible.
Abnormally so with Cloud, though. Because he deserved to not be betrayed or
deceived or led on when hopes might be high. Damn anybody that would, or
has in the past, attempt to do that to him.
Too many thoughts like these were running through Zack's mind and he had to
break it off or else he would find himself giving Cloud one of his bear
hugs. Instead he gently broke the kiss, one hand lifting up to soothingly
smooth calloused fingers down his cheek. Zack really wasn't so keen on
moving away from Cloud again, but it had to be done. So after a moment or
two of simply watching him he once again left Cloud in favor of turning away
towards his dresser drawer.
It wasn't like he didn't have essentials with him if things like this had
ever happened. Of course, he didn't have to worry about it for years, but
Zack was an extremely careful person and kept things around in those
just-in-case situations. He wouldn't be having sex otherwise, no matter how
tempting it was.
Zack found what he was looking for after a passing moment went by,
unscrewing the top of the bottle to apply his fingers accordingly with cool
liquid. He looked acutely concentrated in these few moments, wanting to be
extra careful and make it as painless as he could for Cloud. Any thought of
inflicting pain upon him intentionally made him hesitate, but he knew it
wasn't in a deleterious way so instead concentration was key.
And instead of moving forward with his primary plan, Zack shifted so he was
in between Cloud's legs but arched over a bit so his face was in close
proximity to the blond's. He gave an encouraging and soft look into azure
eyes, murmuring with utmost care, “This'll sting a little, but just relax,
okay?” Forewarnings were necessary, a preeminent thing worth saying before
he continued.
Cloud nodded wordlessly in response, returning Zack's gaze with one that told the other that he had his full, earnest trust. He meant it. Though he might have been a little afraid or had his usual misgivings, as was his inherent tendency, the majority of his initial nervousness had been dispelled by the assurance that Zack unconsciously provided, just by being himself - Zack, and not someone else. Because he wouldn't have had anyone else. Besides, he could take it. It was a small sacrifice in wake of everything Zack had done for him. Barely anything at all, in fact. So he further demonstrated his cooperation by pointedly shifting his thighs apart to grant Zack better access.
There was a smile then and Zack felt a little more reassured that Cloud was
more willing to accept everything – not just this – but everything that has
happened that day. It was amazing, really, how many things could happen in
such a short amount of time, but he found himself perfectly comfortable with
it all. Then again, Zack was more than comfortable with a lot of things that
might have irked others, but that was just in his nature.
As soon as Cloud spread his thighs a bit wider, Zack didn't take much time
to move his hand towards the other's entrance, slowly, very slowly
sliding one well lubricated finger in half-way. He paused though, his eyes
still on Cloud, waiting to make sure he adjusted to that, as he once again
reminded himself that, yes, this would sting. And then some later on.
The intrusion, though slow and painstakingly careful, was an entirely unexpected sensation. Though frankly, Cloud wasn't sure what he should have expected. It wasn't bad, so much as it was quite possibly the strangest thing, and Cloud fought to relax, because he knew it would make it easier for both of them.
Zack was thankful for Cloud's attempt to relax, because he was right, it
made it easier for the both of them. And as much as he wanted to move on
quickly, things like this took time. Rushing would only bring more than
enough pain, and Cloud would suffer in the long-run because of it.
So although he slid his finger in to his knuckle, he paused for a moment or
so to allow him to adjust. It didn't take him long before he inserted
another, careful with his angling and going over the exact preparations and
actions that should be made. Again, wasn't like Zack had never had sex with
men before, but most of the time it was women and that was much
easier considering. But he wasn't a fool and wouldn't take anything lightly,
especially since this was Cloud and not just someone random that he didn't
know and spent only one night with and then never spoke to them again.
He knew he was going painfully slow, but Zack couldn't help it.
There was a few seconds where he simply watched Cloud's face, still feeling
tension but that was to be expected. Then after a moment of realizing he
should move forward again, Zack used those two fingers to scissor his still
tight entrance, not growing impatient but just more comfortable with being
able to press on further.
But he only continued with these movements until he upped the count to
three, however this time stopped just as soon as he started, violet eyes
tracing up Cloud's body before leaning down to press small kisses around his
jawline.
Perhaps a little unsurprisingly, Cloud found himself adjusting with relative ease, more or less due to the way Zack was taking an approach to this that might have been appropriate for handling something incredibly fragile, which Cloud was convinced was truly unnecessary. The initial strangeness of it had subsided somewhat; it was something that he could definitely deal with, and though it didn't feel particularly good, it certainly wasn't bad, either.
He immediately realized the mistake in believing this when he felt Zack's fingers graze something inside him, whether deliberately or by mistake, that made him tense and gasp, eyes widening, his white-knuckled fingers fisting the bedsheets with the intensity of sensation that the contact induced. He didn't understand it, but he did know that it was good - far better than anything he could ever remember experiencing. Almost too much. "Zack, Zack," he managed to gasp out in plea, in between panting for breath, though he was barely coherent.
The way his name was said, Zack concluded after short thought, would be an
addiction he'd get used to in no time at all. He even received a shiver of
some kind of longing down his spine, making Zack feel more impatient than he
was used to being. But it was to be expected with Zack, though he had his
doubts that he could last much longer.
Since Cloud already seemed more than ready, he pulled his fingers out and
reached over to nab the tube of lube again, squeezing more than enough into
his palm as his eyes kept on the beautiful sight in front of him.
Zack tossed the emptied tube carelessly on the floor, having to bite down on
his lip to control and hold back a groan as he coated himself, body shaking
ever so slightly though he stopped himself, wiping away the excess mess on
top of the comforter without another thought.
He allowed himself a moment to shift on the bed, hands sliding down Cloud's
sides to come up towards his hips to pull them a bit closer while taking a
rather shaky breath to steady himself. Zack's eyes never left the other's
face as he entered him, slowly but carefully, allowing the breath that he
just took to leave him as his coherency was on it's last thread of hope
towards staying with him through the process.
As bereft as he was from the loss of contact once Zack withdrew his fingers, Cloud was glad that he was moving on, because he knew that thus far, Zack had been making a point of neglecting his own needs in favor of fulfilling Cloud's, and this was his chance to give back. It was incensing, watching Zack fight so desperately to maintain composure while he was visibly on the verge of losing it. Especially when Cloud, too, had no idea how long it'd be before he lost himself, if this kept up.
So he expended the last of his self control in an effort to accept Zack as best he could, heaving a shuddery sigh in an attempt to relax. With some degree of difficulty, he released the sheets he'd been clenching for support up until now in favor of wrapping his arms around Zack's neck and pulling him closer, further eliminating the gap between their bodies. If Zack had been denying himself up until now, he'd damn well be compensated in full; Cloud would make certain of that.
It was almost sweet how much Cloud wanted to make this good for Zack, and
Zack felt a bit rapacious for his avid need to take his time on pleasing
Cloud before the other had the chance to do the same. It was a little
insensitive of him, now that he thought about it (with great difficulty)
since it was like denying him to try and do something nice for the
raven-haired man.
So now he caved, allowing Cloud to pull him closer as his own arms consumed
the smaller body beneath him to tug them a bit closer, if it was at all
possible. Although it was nice, it changed Zack's intrusion significantly,
the angle a bit of an awkward one but soon that'd be gone after those small,
arduous moments of a pause.
Zack felt a surge of overwrought passion soon consuming him, pushing himself
a bit further in while eyes closed as the sensation took over. But he wasn't
inattentive towards Cloud just yet, mind focusing back to that for but a
split second, reminding himself that even though Cloud was a grown man and
fully capable of taking this in full, he was still at the mercy of his
strength that even Zack sometimes forgot he had.
Admittedly, it was an unnatural feeling - like being too full, and being stretched just so that he was at breaking point but not quite, and the awkward
change in angle was causing him to tilt his hips involuntarily to accomodate. Above all, though, Cloud felt an odd, perhaps obscene pride in knowing
that he could take this; that he could take him, and that he was strong enough for at least that. It was a strange thing to take pride in, but Cloud
did so nonetheless. And he enjoyed this proximity, being enveloped in his arms and against his bare skin, and having Zack inside him, because he
knew it didn't get much closer than this, and that was the purest ecstasy in itself.
Zack, even if he was thinking with incoherency at the time, found himself
feeling extraordinarily lucky. Cloud, the person who was so selective on who
he let get close to him, was finally in his arms and conclusively his and
his alone. And allowing Zack to take such intimate steps, slow or not, it
probably wouldn't have been believable to the ears of someone that hardly,
or perhaps the opposite of that, knew Cloud.
And maybe Cloud didn't perceive this at all, but it was, in the end,
something Zack valued above anything else.
It was almost as if he craved the kind of attention he got from him, much
like he craved to hear his name being uttered again and again, until there
was no reason to or until Cloud was out of breath or otherwise.
He knew just staying still wouldn't give him his drug and primarily satisfy
this nagging thirst, as well as Cloud's, with all due respect. So Zack
slowly pulled out so he wasn't nearly all the way in, but just as soon as he
moved he pushed back in with muted effort, finally able to find himself at a
pace that wasn't too fast, but wasn't too slow either. Besides, he was too
transfixed on letting heavy-lidded eyes open so he could gaze upon Cloud's
face, allowing him to see his reactions and the slight form of twisted
ecstasy that he longed for.
When Zack began moving, all rational thought that might have occupied Cloud's mind immediately dissipated and was promptly replaced with the
simple desire to be brought to completion. He was helpless to focus on anything outside of what he was feeling now; it became impossible not to
shamelessly arch to meet each thrust and dig his fingernails into the skin of Zack's back, if he knew it meant being overcome with what he could
only describe as the sharpest, sweetest pleasure/pain he could possibly ever know, that only intensified with each erratic breath he took, among
other feelings that he couldn't identify and didn't necessarily care to at the moment, especially once he'd shifted enough to secure an angle that
was most favorable to him. It hadn't been a difficult affair, as Zack, Cloud quickly decided, despite the distinct lack of coherent thought remaining in
his consciousness, felt good to begin with, and more so than he really had the right to.
As difficult as it was to not close his eyes they involuntarily shut,
immediately satisfied with the way Cloud attempted to arch into his deep
lunges. And the fingernails that dug into his skin stung a little, but it
made it all the more pleasurable in the long-run, he quickly decided without
another thought. Besides, it only reminded him that Cloud was enjoying it,
and that only made him even more aroused and content with their positioning.
Zack found himself, after a few minutes of getting used to the conscious
enjoyment that everything around them held, trailing his tongue along the
nape of Cloud's neck, offering more than just swift thrusts as he knew he
could be doing more than just this, but made an conscious effort at not
overstimulating them both. But he let teeth sink into warm, heated flesh;
not hard enough to do any damage of course, but enough for him to taste him,
mark him - it didn't matter, because Cloud felt so damn good, better than
anybody else he's had, and the thought of marking him over and over again in
different ways just made Zack feel all the more possessive.
Feeling Zack brand him for the third time left Cloud on the verge of going
completely undone, because it was too much; too much for his already
over-sensitized flesh, too much to feel the quickening of Zack's pace, too
much delicious, maddening friction. At the same time, though, while he
felt like he'd break if he had to take this for another second, he never
wanted it to end, and he knew that if this kept up, it'd be over soon. Too
soon - forever wasn't enough - and it wasn't long before Cloud became
dimly aware of himself hoarsely chanting his name over and over again,
like it was the only thing that could keep him sane, which was insane in
itself.
The drug, the addiction, the stimulation - Cloud's words did a lot to Zack,
curing the first two and only heightening the third. The pleasure was
maddening as was the continuing taste of pale but red skin between his
mouth, though he released that in favor of finally brushing his own lips
against Cloud's, simply hovered to listen to his husky cries as he was
finally overcome with blind passion and single-minded intent. And as much as
he himself wanted it to just end, he also wanted it to continue and never
stop, highly enjoying the way Cloud felt, the taste, the things he wasn't
able to have before but could have now and wouldn't let any of it go for the
world.
But he wasn't finished. No, Zack could do so much more right now as he
realized that he was ignoring one simple thing. So one arm released its hold
on Cloud's body, cold air brushing against his now free limb as his hand
sought blindly for the other's arousal, finally grasping it in his palm
while the ball of his thumb pressed firmly against its tip as he continued
his series of deep lunges.
Nothing could have adequately prepared Cloud for that, which only added
immensely to the plethora of sensations he was already being overwhelmed
with. So much, in fact, that it proved the final straw in driving him over
the edge, because it wasn't long before he came with a strangled gasp, his
consciousness faltering from the intensity of it; it was only a miracle
that kept him from blacking out completely.
He realized vaguely that he had come all over Zack's hand, but couldn't
really be bothered to care at that exact moment.
Zack had been shamelessly holding out until Cloud went over the edge just so
he could, through lust-drugged violet eyes, watch him with as much conscious
effort as he could spare. But after the gasp and the feeling of warm liquid
in his hand plus the constricted pressure against his erection, he realized
he was at his limit.
With a few more slow, deep thrusts, Zack found himself on the brink of a
mind-blowing orgasm, finding himself unable to hold back a deep moan in the
back of his throat as he came. Zack stayed where he was so he could place
soft, breathless kisses along Cloud's bruised neck, making sure he was soft
enough to pull out of the other and Cloud's somewhat tight grip
around his neck. Not a second later he lazily fell to the side, one arm
loosely hooked around the blond's waist as he attempted to catch his breath.
Cloud was only grateful that Zack had possessed the grace to refrain from collapsing on his person, because he could only imagine what it would feel like to be crushed beneath him. He could tolerate a little pain, even in his somewhat dazed state, but Zack's case was exceptional. Little else could really register in his mind at the moment.
As much as Zack really didn't want to think about it, he knew they should
really take a shower, but as he glanced on over to Cloud he decided he
wasn't going to be moving anywhere anytime soon.
So with that he tugged on the covers a bit, kicking off the comforter in the
process with amazing skill that he shouldn't have while being as tired as he
was. Zack also took a quick chance to wipe his hand on said comforter before
it rolled to their feet, a lazy attempt to clean said hand but had more
interesting things to focus on right now, such as making sure Cloud was
under the covers with him and into his arms before the both of them
had the chance to pass out from exhaustion.
Zack craned his neck down after finding a comfortable position, placing a
kiss on top of Cloud's sweat-soaked forehead, nuzzling blond hair while he
murmured in a nearly unheard voice, “I love you.” Sure, it was a little
slurred, but he meant it in the best way possible. And oh, how good it felt
to be able to say those words without them being in a teasing manner.
It was truly beyond Cloud, how Zack found the energy to move. Because in spite of how much a shower would have benefited the both of them, considering how the entirety of his skin was still slick with sweat among other things, Cloud found that moving was quite possibly the last thing among his priorities. So he was eternally grateful that Zack didn't seem intent on moving much either, and contented himself with melding bonelessly against him, in preparation for promptly passing out for the rest of the night, and quite possibly, the morning.What made him happier, though, and unspeakably so, were Zack's final words. He was quickly deciding that he'd never get tired of hearing them, and though the "I love you" he mumbled in response was barely discernable, the sentiment was there, or as much as it could have been in his state.
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It's... still readable? :\
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Yep, it is! And oh. My friend Steph read it too, and she said something about melting into a pile of goo. Just so you know. 8D
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Aww, really? That makes me happy. X)
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Made me kind of happy too that she actually read the whole thing. XD
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Yeah, it's so fucking long. Just a tad ridiculous! What the hell is wrong with us? XD ♥
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All our logs are long, what're you talking about? :< Oh well. We must remind ourselves that we should do smaller logs in the logs community or else IT'LL GET TO BE THE SIZE OF THIS ONE! And the date log. Good lord. ♥
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Right, I think people'll get sick of how we have to repeatedly spam the community every time we post up stuff. XD And I think our shortest log has like, what, 25 tags? Hokay.
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SCREW IT. People like it! We're productive! :< And yeah, that was pretty short, but that was either the "Hay Cloud move in with me!" log or the "BOOBIES!" log, right?
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