tampered | log; incomplete

Syaoran was far from bewildered. What was going on? Fai and Sakura had disappeared, that much was obvious. Oh, and something apparently happened, something bad. It had to have happened in this world. Was this incident why Kurogane was alone?

Well, at least Syaoran found them easy enough. Who knew how long he would have wandered around if he wasn't there?

But... where was Mokona?

The boy was quiet during the whole trip with Kurogane, lost in his thoughts. They were going to meet Fai and Sakura. Hopefully everything would be cleared up.

Dread washed over the mage in waves, nearly blinding him as he dragged his feet forward, one step after the other, just about twitching at the sheer anxiety that came with actually confronting one’s problems, which he tried never to do. They owed it to the poor boy of course, and Fai had long since broken through the skin of his lower lip after having bitten down upon it several times, trying hard to quell the urge to escape before this became too complicated. Wasn’t everything already far too complicated between them?

Even so, every time he chanced a quick, worried glance down at Sakura’s light form carried in his arms protectively, he couldn’t help swallowing a bit dryly with the hope that things would work out all right for them. It was all too glaringly obvious that things would never work out between himself and Kurogane.

As they neared the threshold to Xanadu, Fai suddenly paused at the familiar tremor of Syaoran’s magic that he felt, unwilling to move any further as his lanky limbs refused to comply, and he held Sakura just that bit tighter to his chest, frowning.

"Sakura-chan, I—" No, he would not burden her with this. So Fai offered her a silly smile instead, well aware of the fact that she would interpret his lies easily, before stepping forward again. "Let me know when you want to walk on your own, ne~? We’re almost there~!"

[ ooc; just doing it in separate comments, since it might get cluttered~! ♥ ]

The girl looked up, worry adamant in her green eyes. Something was going on, first the sudden run from the hot springs, and now this. Sakura hadn't bothered to ask questions because she felt like she would soon find out so questions weren't needed.

She smiled back at Fai with a brighter, reassuring one. "I can walk on my own, if I don't get any practice at walking I might forget how~" Her tone was light, and joking. The mage had made that same smile, that amusing little smile that was supposed to cover up his worry and his secrets. Sakura wondered what could have made him worry so but for now she could at least try to cheer him up.

"And plus, I haven't really been up and about lately. I'll really start turning into a sack of potatoes!"

Kurogane huffed out a sigh, reaching out to ruffle the kid's hair again to try and draw him a bit out of his thoughts before finding a nice, quiet patch where they could all sit.

"C'mon. Over here." he instructed. If Fai didn't come, he was going to start getting pissed.

Something was off with everyone. Syaoran couldn't quite put his finger on it but Kurogane was slowly giving it away. He never really ruffled his hair unless he was nervous or on edge. He knew the older man was far from level-headed, but he rarely acted like this. How long had he and the others been here?

He didn't notice the others until Kurogane spoke. The boy looked up, spotting Fai's lanky form holding the Princess close to him. They were saying something but it was too hard to hear.

Was something? Was Sakura hurt?!

"Princess!" Syaoran dashed toward them, but not too close. Sakura was still the Princess. He had to remember his manners no matter what. He looked up at the mage. "Is she okay?"

Then he noticed it. Fai was wearing a black eye patch over his left eye. At least it wasn't the same eye that Syaoran was blind in. The coincidence would have been too much for him. Concerned, he added, "Are you okay, Fai?"

"Hyuu~that’d be really funny, wouldn’t it?" Fai couldn’t help but relax a little at the princess’ jest, finding it a bit easier to handle his uncertainty over the whole thing before he stopped, tensed, and watched quietly as Syaoran made a quick approach.

It was vastly more difficult than he would have assumed to force a pleasant expression on his face, so he reluctantly settled for a small smile directed at the familiar boy, as he set Sakura down on her feet as gently as possible so that they could greet each other. "Ne, we’re fine~how are you, Syaoran-kun? We missed you," the mage replied, even though the last part was said a bit more quietly with a touch of sadness behind it, his single blue gaze soft once it rested on him, properly.

Maybe—the ninja hadn’t come—? Jaw locked, Fai blatantly refused to avert his careful gaze away from the two children just in case, determined not to look for Kurogane should he be looking for him, and then he might get the wrong idea, which would send them into another fight, another confrontation.

A gasp escaped from the girl's lips. Was it? No it couldn't be...Could it? Could it really be?

Syaoran.

Once her feet touched the ground, she stumbled forward. Her hands outstretched, reaching for the boy. Her hazel eyes watched unbelieving, and she took it all in. Sakura knew it wasn't right to ask which Syaoran he was...she didn't need to. His eyes gave him away. Brown. A nice warm brown.

The princess stood on wobbly legs before Syaoran. She was speechless. The girl had waited, she had waited for so long. Her hand lifted up and touched his cheek lightly, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Is it really...you?"

This was so hard. So fucking hard. And Kurogane might want to say he hated every minute of it, but the kid's expression--the look on Sakura's face was more than enough to make the shit that was going to go on here worthwhile, even as he approached, hands stuck in his pockets.

He had to swallow past a lump in his throat, and dammit why did the City have to play such a cruel trick? It wasn't fa---Kurogane stopped his train of thought right there. Of course it wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair. But they'd make the best of it.

Kurogane glanced over at the mage as he moved closer...Fai still wouldn't even look at him. Goddamn it.

He knew he could trust Fai with his life, but this time the mage was holding back. This wasn't the normal Fai. It was obvious that everything wasn't fine. In fact, it was probably the opposite. Something terrible enough happened to Fai that required him to wear an eye patch and Kurogane was split up from the others. Everything couldn't be fine.

And that 'We missed you'. It didn't sound right.

Syaoran furrowed his brow, looking at the blonde man when Sakura rushed forward, distracting him completely. At least the Princess didn't change. She was alright. Syaoran couldn't be any happier, to tell the truth. If Sakura was safe and sound, everything would turn out alright.

With a smile, he reached up and touched her hand. She was always so warm. "Yeah. I'm here, Princess."

It wasn’t fair to any of them, what he was doing. But, he kept telling himself that it was for the best, and the consequences would be far worse if he ever let on to the fact that he cared far too much about each of them to explain. So instead, with a heavy heart, Fai offered Syaoran a polite smile with a little wink, and averted his gaze elsewhere, which happened to be—No. The mage quickly found the way in which he and the princess had come from vastly more entertaining than having to look into those eyes for much longer, and he swallowed dryly, feeling sick.

The girl was speechless, words couldn't describe how she felt anymore since it was mix of everything. Only his hand kept her from breaking from the overload emotions.

"I missed you so much...Syaoran-kun."

An understatement.

Kurogane would never admit it, but he felt slightly sick. Just a little. But he forced it down as he watched the kids interact before he shifted his gaze to the mage...who was purpousely not looking at him.

He should've known.

There was nothing he cared more for than Sakura, and nothing he hated more than being parted from her, but this reunion... what was wrong? With a frown, he asked, "I haven't been gone that long, have I?" He had just left Lecourt, just like they did. But maybe this was exactly like Shura. They could have been here much longer than he. Why was he so late?

Syaoran tore his eyes from Sakura to look back at the two older men. Fai was looking away at the place he and Sakura just entered and Kurogane... well, saying that he looked upset didn't do him justice.

"Guys, what's going on?"

"Ne, a while," Fai murmurs quietly in reply, the rather cheerfully mild tone sounding foreign even to his own ears as he winced, hating his own insincerity and yet powerless to prevent it. He could only gaze at the princess, silent, expecting of the brutally honest explanation that the ninja was sure to provide for them and enlighten the child about misdeeds he had yet to perform.

It was heart wrenching, and for a split second, the mage’s expression fell just slightly, a misery crossing there before he had the foresight to mask it once more with a silly smile. "We remember a world after Lecourt, Syaoran-kun~" Even though he would go no farther than that when it came to dealing out truths, Fai gave a disinterested shrug that he didn’t feel and continued, lies spilling forth on instinct as it was a nasty habit. "I forgot my eye there after playing a game, but I really, really don’t want it back. Silly, huh~?"

The mage knew even before the words left his lips that it would leave a bitter, guilty taste within his mouth long after, and he nearly, just nearly chanced the quickest glance toward the ninja, but it was gone like the soft breeze that rustled the trees.

Sakura turned, eyes wide to Fai, "Lecourt?"

Then it dawned on her...everything clicked into place. Why Fai had taken her from the hot springs and a daze to stay at a friend's place. Why this whole reunion was so sad and heart-wrenching.

He didn't know. And how could he? When he was the Syaoran she had traveled with all this time?

It was the same familiar sadness when she saw into the future and knew that there was hardly any time left, and chose the least greatest choice to save her companions. It hurt then, knowing more than others...and it hurt everyone now.

She took a step back from Syaoran, making certain to keep her right leg out of the picture and unnoticed from his familiar gaze. Sakura looked towards the ninja, the action that Fai couldn't.

How do we tell him? Can we tell him? How much do we tell him?

"Two worlds, actually." Kurogane stated, glancing over at the mage before meeting the princess's eyes. "Three, maybe, for the princess."

He took in a breath, resolved hardening. "The truth. We tell him the truth. All of it."

"A world after Lecourt? Don't you mean this one?" Syaoran asked after Fai explained. This would be the world after, right? And the whole story about his eye... what was Fai avoiding? He never acted like this. Sakura wrenched him from his thoughts. Her surprise in turn created his own, then she looked so sad. Syaoran hated that look. Even after she stepped back, his hand lingered where hers was before falling at his side, numb.

Two worlds? Three? Syaoran turned to Kurogane. He wouldn't get an answer from Fai and he didn't want to bring pain to Sakura by making her say something she might not want to say.

"Kurogane, what truth? What happened to Fai's eye and why did I miss those worlds?"

It ached Fai to notice the distress upon Sakura’s expression, tore at his resolve and made him wince, but he swallowed dryly, gaze finally shifting toward Kurogane for the needed explanation. He knew well enough that the ninja would be the one to bluntly lay everything out onto the metaphorical table as it were, but it was the mage who wasn’t sure whether or not he could handle picking up any of the pieces later, if the children needed it. If the children needed him.

This was frightening, to say the least. It made him shift uncomfortably, a forced look of mild calm masking everything else that chained him down inside as he watched the others, miserable.

Sakura would have shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, but her right leg hindered that so she stood where she was and fidgeted slightly.

"All...of it..."

She looked up, green eyes meeting brown eyes. Sakura...couldn't lie to him. Not anymore. Not after that one time when she had lied to everyone. She took a deep breath, her hands clutching her outer dress.

"Syaoran-kun...a lot of things happened. The City, it brought you here before a lot of things...But, the things we tell you. They might hurt, they might make you sad, so it's hard to say. None of us want to hurt Syaoran-kun...But...you changed...a lot...in one of the worlds..."

The ninja met the mage's eyes unflinchingly before he was distracted as the princess spoke. He was almost surprised she had decided to take the reigns on this, but when he really thought about it, not really.

He did not, however, failure to notice her constant standing on one foot. Time to sit down now. Especially before they elaborated any more--the kid would need to sit down, if not now, then very, very soon.

He moved forward, stepping up next to Syaoran.

"Princess, we should probably sit down." he stated, voice slightly gruff, a suggestion, but part command.

The world was spinning, or was that just his head? Things were going so fast. How much had he missed? Syaoran watched Sakura carefully, noticing her shifting and fidgeting. She was okay, right? Just like she said? Well, physically at least. ...Right?

He would be able to bear his own sadness, but it seemed to her Sakura so much to say anything at all. He could deal with the hurt. It's just...

"What did I do?"

Next thing he knew, Kurogane was next to him. Syaoran frowned and looked back at Fai. He was being so quiet and Syaoran was beginning to worry about him.

Whatever he did, was it that bad?

There were very few things that the mage did not fail to act upon when it came to intuition, something he either ignored fairly well or simply didn’t have to begin with, but this was too much, too soon. And it probably helped that the princess’ words came rushing back to him all of a sudden as the ninja’s gaze locked with his own; ‘from now on the future can be changed’.

Resolve hardening, Fai moved forward without a spare thought and gathered Sakura up into his arms again carefully, gaze softening as it rested upon Syaoran, a rather openly honest look of sorrow compared to what the boy must be used to. "Ne, Syaoran-kun. . . no matter what happens, I’m not angry with you. None of us are. Do you understand?"

Glancing over at Kurogane, the mage inclined his head a little ways down the dirt path where a few benches were scattered, before heading that way himself, Sakura tucked safely in his arms. This would be difficult, but he seemed to have drawn strength from both the princess’ words and the ninja’s, which was what he needed. It was what he always needed.

Sakura was taken by surprise but gave a thankful nod to Fai for helping her move. At least this way Syaoran wouldn't notice what was wrong with her legs. She'd tell him sooner or later, but it wasn't best to start with that topic.

But the mage and the ninja had noticed faster than she did, that she had gotten tired of balancing on one foot. She wasn't that ready to stand for long periods of time. After all, Sakura was still a pretty clumsy girl.

The ninja took the cue from Fai easily, placing a guiding hand on Syaoran's back and steering the kid after the mage and the princess.

"C'mon, kiddo."

Syaoran nodded slowly, though sadly, when Fai spoke. It was gnawing at him now. He hurt everyone, and badly. They were hurting even now, and it was because of him, or what he did. They were all holding it all in, just to protect him, to ease him in to everything.

He let Kurogane guide him, though he did not say a word. He would let them talk now. Syaoran would make this easy as possible of them, to spare them the trouble.

Apparently, he had already cause enough.

For the mage’s own rather shocking boldness, he couldn’t seem to swallow the dry lump in his throat as he moved the two of them toward the nearest bench secluded by a few trees, setting the princess down gently first. Taking a breath, Fai slumped down next to her and stretched out his lanky legs tiredly, glancing at each of them rather quickly before tilting his head, focused upon Kurogane alone, now. They would need to figure out how to begin and end somehow, and he winced almost unnoticeably, since the words just wouldn’t come.

"Syaoran-kun?" Briefly, the mage turned to look at the boy, voice as gentle as possible with a small smile. "It will be okay~"

Fai's words washed over her mind. It will be okay. It will, wouldn't it? Everything would work out in the end. It would, they'd all make the best of it. They'd tell Syaoran everything, and...and everything would be okay. Everything would be better. It would.

"It will..."

She looked towards Kurogane for reassurance, and all the moment, she was wondering what would be told. But it had already been decided after all, they were going to tell him all of it.

Kurogane only nodded to Sakura as the princess looked over to him, and he eased the boy down onto the bench next to Sakura, before turning his attentin to Fai.

"...at the beginning of Acid Tokyo." he stated, answering an unspoke question as he seated himself across from the kid so he could look him in the eye.

"The City has a bad habit of dragging people here from all different periods in their lives." he began, resting his elbows on his knees. "It seems that it grabbed you from a time right after Lecourt, where as the three of us...are from a time much farther in the future." He huffed a bit, red eyes hardening with resolve.

"The place we landed after Lecourt was a place called Acid Tokyo. It was barren and dry and people were contantly running out of water, and their ownly storage was that in the basement of a building. Kamui, who is not here, was there at the time, waiting for his twin, Subraru, who is here...this we didn't know until later, but..." the ninja shook his head. "It's kinda beside the point."

This was just as hard, if not harder, than he had imagined.

It'll be okay. Fai said so. The mage always had unnatural wisdom, just like Kurogane. It was suiting, you know, how Fai called them a family. They really were one, in their own wacky way. And a good one. Who knew what Syaoran would do without everyone else?

He listened closely as Kurogane began to explain, taking in all the names, explanations... Acid Tokyo... Subraru... Maybe he would talk to Subraru later if he got the chance, since he was here and all.

But then Kurogane stopped.

"Please," Syaoran pleaded. "Tell me what I did. I want to make sure it doesn't happen again."

"You were not yourself when it happened. Try to remember that, ne?" After having sat through the ninja’s explanation with a distracted, cloudy gaze, further catching the boy’s question soon after, he sighed weakly and sat up in order to gain some kind of better footing. "Syaoran-kun—this has to do with the pains that you have with your eye. . . you were trying to save Sakura-chan at the time, to help gain back her feathers while fighting Kamui, the man Kurogane just mentioned."

Pausing, Fai rested a careful, reassuring hand upon that of Sakura’s, but whether it was for his own support or hers he couldn’t tell, and he pressed on with a heavy heart, gaze blankly unreadable. "I went to help you. And those pains—you were not yourself," he repeated out of no particular necessity other than to reiterate the fact again, for his sake.

"We fought, and. . ." For some reason, he wasn’t able to finish as he choked on his own words slightly, and Fai took a moment to raise his gaze, settling his one eye upon Syaoran, deeply saddened for him. He had to tell him—he had earned the right to know.

"You were the one to take my eye."

Sakura squeezed the mage's hand lightly, just for reassurance. She needed it. The girl needed it horribly.

This time, she couldn't speak though. She couldn't contribute to the truth telling, not this part. At the time, she had been too panicked. The girl remembered the whole incident, and Sakura could explain it. Words wouldn't come out, so she left the telling of what happened on Acid Tokyo to the mage and the ninja.

She would help for explaining the next world, but this one, she couldn't. It hurt.

In the end, it was probably better that Fai end up telling Syaoran about that part anyway. But that, of course, didn't make it any easier. Nor could he blame the mage for choking at all, instead feeling proud of him for being able to get it out; Kurogane couldn't even begin to fathom how hard it was for Fai if it was bad enough for him to say.

He asked for it, he really did. And he was happy that they told him. Oh, by all means he wasn't ecstatic over the fact that he did... that to Fai.

Syaoran was awestruck. He stared at Fai blankly for a few moments. How could he do that? Why? What had come over him? They said he was not himself. Then who was he? And what did that have to do with his eye? It was a big deal, especially since Fai kept saying repeating it.

That still left more questions? Why did he take Fai's eye? What happened to the others? Where did he go next? They said they weren't mad... He wouldn't blame them if they did.

He was swimming in his thoughts, in all these questions. Then Syaoran looked at Sakura. If she saw him hurt, she would feel all the worse. He couldn't let that happen. He had to protect her. Syaoran smiled at the others, finally, then looked down at his hands which were resting in his lap.

"Thanks for telling me, guys."

'I'm sorry.

Fai gently squeezed Sakura’s hand back, reassuringly, unable to let go even if she wanted to, knowing they needed each other right now to get through this mess. Maybe the ninja was right, and with that slight realization, something tight within the mage’s chest loosened just a bit, a sigh he hadn’t known he’d been holding escaping him.

"If you—" His own hoarse voice startled him, even though he knew he had to keep talking, had to lighten the mood. Wasn’t that his job? "—have any questions, ask. We’re here to help, ne~?" A smile graced Fai’s lips as he watched Syaoran carefully, waiting.

Sakura nodded, eager to help, eager to help ease the pain.

"Un! We'll...we'll do our best to answer them, Syaoran-kun."

Kurogane merely watched the interaction between the three. There was not much he could say, was there? Other than the continued reassurance that they didn't blame him. Best wait for any questions the kid might have.

He hated seeing everyone like this, torn up over something Syaoran had done, something that he could potentially do again. No, he had to get that thought out of his head right now. He had to prevent such tragedies again. What was going through his mind when he attacked Fai?

Syaoran wanted to make this as easy as possible for his friends. He would limit it to one question, and one alone.

"Why did I do it?"

Fai couldn’t, he just couldn’t answer that question. There was a limit to both his cowardice and equally his strength, while right at this particular moment he felt as if he were being strained, tugged too far, pushed into a level of affection for the three that he wasn’t ready for. Or possibly just didn’t want to accept.

"Ne, I don’t know~" The mage’s voice is hollow as he sags backward on the bench, staring blankly at his shoes as his hand upon the princess’ loosened, just a bit.

Sakura took a sharp breath. That was one of the hardest questions to answer. It probably was the hardest question he could ask. The girl noticed the mage's grip lessening, she squeezed back hopefully, desperately.

"You weren't yourself, Syaoran-kun...your heart...it..." but when she tried to continue, no words came out. She couldn't continue. The princess wanted to help explain it, make everything easier, but it was so hard.

They were moving towards this anyway--best get it out.

"Your original took your heart back." he stated, red eyes level.

Wait... what? Syaoran stared at Kurogane, repeating what he said over and over in his head. It was impossible to hide the shock on his face. His original? Did that mean... he was a copy? They all knew there were multiple versions of people in the worlds, but there was never an original.

Syaoran looked at each of the others in turn. They were all hurting so much, hurting because of something that he did or of something that he could do again. But cutting himself off from them would be worse. He didn't want to leave these people. They were his family.

He just needed to think about things for awhile. Then he'd come back.

"Thanks, guys." Syaoran gave them a smile before rising from the bench. "I think I'm going to take a walk for awhile, but I'll be back soon."

That's all he said. He swiftly turned and headed down the floral path, unaware of the beauty around him.

He just needed to be alone for awhile. He didn't want his family to see him hurting too.

log; incomplete

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