tampered | Log: Complete

Log: Complete

When; Afternoon of August 28th
Rating; G
Characters; The Princess Ananova

crete_goddess and Jolly Roger

jollygoodform
Summary; Jolly speaks with Ananova about an important topic: whether he will stay with her in her apartment, or move in with Jas. Hook on his pirate ship.
Log;

Jolly sat quietly in the apartment he shared with Ananova, sitting on the couch and kicking his feet gently back and forth. In the boy's lap there lay a purring Scottish Fold kitten, Katrina. She, oblivious to all else, pawed playfully at Jolly's sleeve, her tail whisking once or twice across his leg.

The boy looked up, towards the Princess, chewing on his lip uncertainly. She'd been the one to protect him, to latch on when he first arrived in the City and she'd shielded him from all manner of harm. She'd been more of a mother than he considered his biological one to be. He owed her everything.

And somehow, he also owed Jas everything. His best mate, his school savior, and the icon that represented freedom and boyhood and rising up against the face of all odds. And Jas'd finally come to him and asked him to stay on. How could he say no to that?

He was torn. And it showed on his face.

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Ananova was currently gazing out her window. The day was mild, a perfect sunkissed day to be out. Days like these she remembered the hours and afternoons spent in the gardens with Miria, her first and dearest friend in the city. She hardly spent time there now...more at home, with the boy across from her. Ana loved Jolly. Truly and honestly loved him, like a son. She had become so used to seeing him, taking care of him, she never thought... Ana looked at him, a light if not saddened smile on her lips. She wanted nothing but his happiness.

Jolly, reluctant to begin speaking for fear of the lump in his throat, contented himself to petting Katrina. Outside the window, over the tops of the buildings and further on past the trees, he could barely make out small glimpses of the sea. There, he knew the grand pirate ship Jolly Roger was docked.

He fondly missed Mr. Smee, of course. It seemed he barely got a chance to talk with him between his arrival and Smee's departure. Jolly hoped fondly he was all right, wherever he was.

Here was a situation he'd never foreseen getting into. He and Jas had made plans at Eton: they had made vows and declared together that they would make the whole of England shiver in their beds at the thought of the two bloodthirsty rogues who pillaged, kidnapped, and murdered without a second thought. And now that one dream could manage its first step at last.

It never occured to Jolly at the time that he'd ever have a reason not to go.

Ananova warmed her hands around her teacup..which had probably gone cold by now. It had never been so quiet between them, they talked so often, and about so many things, there was no time for silence until they slept. Suddenly it was so entirely...quiet.

She was used to quiet...she lived alone in the City for some time, and between roommates. Seeing Belle, Benkei, Ronald and his sister go...that was one thing...this felt so much harder. Since the very moment Jolly came to stay with her, she had devoted nearly everything to his welfare. It was for Jas, in a way...and then it was for Jolly. All for him. He was such a wonderful, and thoughtful boy, and so mild-mannered..he deserved the best kind of care.

Since the incident with the wolves, Ananova's protective instincts had tripled. Nothing, absolutely nothing, was ever going to harm this boy again..

...He wanted to go with Jas. She knew it in her heart. How could she possibly keep him here?

"...Well, Jolly. You said you wanted to talk about James?"

Jolly looked back up, uncertain and unsure. As his hand ceased to pet her, Katrina yawned and jumped off the couch to go wandering. Not having anything he could use to distract his hand motions, he folded his palms across his lap, staring down at his fingers.

"I...right..In the hospital, Jas and I were talking...You remember? And he...wants me to come stay with him." Quickly, his mind began to flood with explanations and reasons, and he finally looked up, staring at Ananova

"And I thought, you know, I can help him get on with things since Mr. Smee left, because Jas doesn't cook for himself if he can help it, and he doesn't really have somebody to confide in save Electra and she can't talk back, and what if he gets depressed or has one of his moods and his Jolly isn't there to help him out of it?", the boy babbled, anxious and almost pleading for Ananova to argue.

The lightest of frowns passed her features, watching him. He was so frantic...so upset. Dear darling boy..

"..Jolly, darling..calm down." She reaches out and touched his head, trying to soothe.

"Jas...doesn't know how to manage himself sometimes, no. He's terribly independent when it comes to most things, but cooking and personal health eludes him. Though Peter is around often, I..do think he would like your company without Mr. Smee..."

All that matters is his happiness. And all this distress isn't fair...not to Jolly...

Jolly turned his chin up to look at Ananova, wide-eyed and anxious still.

"I know...and I miss him! I mean, I'd get to see him loads more often...But...I don't want to leave you here!
" he cried out suddenly, feeling like he was five or six years old again, going away to school for the first time. He had hugged his mother then, crying into her dress an wrinkling his blue blazer. He jumped off the couch now and hugged Ananova tightly, just barely up to her chest.

He was too old to cry about such things, he knew. If Jas was here, he would've been ashamed of his lack of good form and proper etiquette befalling a young Etonian. But for a brief second, he didn't want to make such an important adult decision on his own.

He wanted it all to just go away..

Ananova stared as Jolly launched himself into her arms. She instantly clutched him back, his words cycling in her head. She gently stroked his head and shushed him softly, rubbing his back...his crying stabbed her chest like a rusted knife. He didn't want to leave her here...tears stung her eyes lightly, though she simply refused to let any of them fall. Jolly...

Ananova suddenly felt furious with James for making him choose. For throwing such a thing on a young boy--couldn't he understand he and Jolly were NOT the same age(despite how childish Jas would act at times)? That something like this was anything but easy? It reminded her of the night he asked her to choose...it simply was not fair...

"...Jolly...angel.." She held him close, looking out the window. A glance at him would send tears pouring down her own cheeks.

"...What do you want to do. What will make you happy."

Ashamed of himself but unable to stop the choking lump lodged in his throat, Jolly pressed his head against Ananova's abdomen, rubbing at his eyes with a fist, his shoulders shaking with muted, repressed tears.

"I want both of you-! You and Jas make me happy, Princess! When we were all together, and we were all the same age and we would go on adventures!" and here his tone took on a slightly different pitch, almost as if he were accusing both her and James, "And I came here, and you two had grown up without me, and that I don't mind much but you're not together! Why aren't you together? Jas promised that you were the only girl he'd ever love!"

And he wrapped around his arms around her tighter and pressed his cheek into her side, unwilling to understand that sometimes the future isn't what you'd hoped it would be.

At his last, Ananova closed her eyes, and tears did drop, cold and bitter. As much as she adored Morpheus, and however close she and Jas were now...the scar of it still felt as if it had been ripped open...Promises can be broken.

Things were so much easier back then...so much more romantic. Almost surreal. A happily ever after..And Jolly, dear sweet Jolly--coming to this world only to see them apart, and..so old.

She hated the city, and she hated their future...not because of their losses...but for Jolly's. It was entirely unfair...

"...Darling, no matter what happens, you will always have both of us...these things happen...life takes turns you never thought it would, and never wanted it to take." She paused, letting a waver in her voice die. "It is the way some things are...and I am sorry...I am so sorry, Jolly, that this is so utterly hard...it shouldn't be.."

He sniffled, like a little child, and rubbed his nose on the back of his hand, staring down at his feet sadly. He reached out for Ananova's hand, clutching it tightly, silently wishing for things to be like how he remembered, before he came to the City..

Finally, at last, Jolly looked up, eyes red. "If I say no to Jas, he'll hate me. I know he will. I promised him, too." He knew it was childish to think so, but even so he found himself wishing desperately that somehow, in some way, Ananova nd jas could get back together, she and Jolly could move onto the ship together, and he wouldn't be in such a mess.

"I don't want him to hate me. He's my best mate."

"No, angel." She securely held his hand in hers, squeezing it. She found herself glad it was dim. No need to concern him with her own silly tears.

"Jas could never hate you, for any reason. You're his best mate too, remember...we could never hate you for anything. Neither of us."

She thought silently on Jas's own resentment for her...the fury he left in. How long she had sat in silence, watching from afar. James had a penchant for unreasonable anger and demanding, as brilliant and well-meaning he was. Holding Jolly a little closer, she frowned. If he angered at Jolly for any reason, even something like this(that was HIS doing), she would never forgive him.

She would never forgive him for hurting this boy in any way.

Now, there was an irrational thought...Jas..hurting Jolly...her maternal instincts did get the best of her at times. But he was worth it, Roger Davies. If it meant watching from afar again..it would be worth it.

Jolly wanted to go. He longed and pined and waited for Jas to ask him at last to come and stay with him. He wanted it more than anything...and yet..

He looked around at the apartment they shared. Already, it was too big and empty with Ron and Ginny gone. How lonely would it be with just the Princess living here? Vash had said, of course, that he would offer his home, but Jolly hated the thought of leaving Ananova even more than he loved the thought of staying with Jas.

And..he would have plenty of time to spend with Jas in his own time, wouldn't he? He'd have all the time in the world, here. It didn't mean leaving Ananova in an empty home..

But...then he thought of Jas as well, without Mr. Smee, alone on his ship..and still...

It was all so bloody confusing.

"I...think.." he began, unsure of his words, or even what he meant by them, "I think...I can wait a little longer...to become a pirate"

Ananova stared down at him, floored. Utterly, utterly floored. What..what was he saying..? Surely, this is what he wanted! What he was so excited about--in their first days together, all they talked about was Jas...

"...Roger..what on earth do you mean?" Ananova gently brushed his hair back.

Why?

Jolly sniffed, rubbing his eyes to rid his face of any remaining tears, and managed, at last, to find happiness enough to smile.

"I...figure...that I don't become a pirate until I'm a little older...and I don't think people get very much older here, if the death-rules don't apply...So maybe...I could stay here? Until I'm ready to be a pirate with Jas?" He quieted down a little more

"I don't think I'm ready yet"

Ananova stared at him for a few long moments. Was it this? Was this the reason why he wanted to stay...?

"...Jolly." She turned his face to her gently to look at him. He had to do what he -wanted- to do...not because of some guilty fear from her or James.

"...Are you absolutely sure about this..."

Jolly stared back up at her, and hugged her tightly once more, leaning into her. He prayed that Jas wouldn't be mad...disappointed, yes. Maybe even irritated; it had been Jolly who offered his services in the first place...

well. Plenty of time to figure whether he could find a way to do both. For now, though, the Princess needed him. And he needed her right back.

"I'm sure"

Princess Ananova held Jolly Roger very securely in her arms. A few more tears escaped her, but she had no wish to wipe them away. They weren't saddened.

But happy.

Like a mother clutching her baby, she hugged him, and felt..overjoyed he was staying. A slight guilt nagged at her heart for James...but if he was happy. If he was happy, and would continue to be happy, that's all that mattered.

Perhaps quiet didn't have to be such an unsettling thing. It was terribly quiet now. And she was smiling.

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Log: Complete

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