Log; Complete

[wearedarkness.livejournal.com]

When; October 1st [ Late Afternoon/Evening ]
Rating; R [For language and mentions of rape ]
Characters; Kurosaki Hisoka [empathed] and Tsuzuki Asato [wearedarkness]
Summary; Because of this, this happened, leading to this which ended up with this log as a result, the end of which matches up with this log... Now the linking is done, basically, Hisoka has been unconscious after his encounter with Saya. When he wakes up he and Tsuzuki have a little chat which ends up going in several directions.
Log;


What a mess. Since the whole gruesome business had come to his attention it had put him a foul mood, though he was dealing with his aggression on the outside very well. If you didn't include the single punch he'd inflicted on an innocent wall, of course.

He paced around for sometime, mulling over everything even though he knew he shouldn't. It wasn't going to help matters and it was only going to leave him more annoyed - at Saya, at Hisoka and at himself. Pausing at the edge of the bed, he took in a deep breath, held it as he mentally counted to ten before releasing it through his nose. It wasn't a magical calming technique, but it may have helped a bit. After doing that, he settled himself quietly on the floor at the edge of the bed, folding his arms and resting them on the edge as he watched Hisoka's unconscious form through worried amethyst eyes. If anything was going to kill off the feeling of helpless frustration it would be concern.

"...idiot," he sighed, laying his head against the pillow his arms had made. All he could do was wait for Hisoka to wake.


It was a while yet before Hisoka finally stirred. Dreams had plagued him. Memories. But whose? There was that spider bitch... Then there was an image of someone with pale skin and dark hair. Ryuzaki. Who was that?

"...Nn." Thick eyelashes fluttered as he struggled to reach the surface of his consciousness, mumbling out under his breath, "You're the idiot, idiot."

What had happened? Where was he? He remembered...what was it? Everything was jumbled. ...Ah. Saya! He had fought her... She had knocked away his gun... Oh. Shit. Was it still at the shooting range? Probably soaking in a puddle of his blood.

With a gasp, Hisoka sat up, hand moving to his chest. "Gun! Where's my gun?! She knocked it away!"

Tsuzuki lifted his head sharply as he felt the weight at the bed shift and heard Hisoka's panicked voice. He stared at Hisoka as he spoke, not daring to touch him yet though as he knew he was a mass of different emotions, not to mention he was most likely disorientated.

"Hisoka!" he said in a slightly raised tone, though without any anger in it. It was mostly concern for the boy and to try and draw his attention as he moved to try and get in his eye line "Hey... It's all right. Watari and I brought you back here after--"

After what? Your fight? You disagreement? What?

"--after what happened."

His gaze focused on Tsuzuki then, and his breath came out in a whoosh. Ah... Shit. He was probably in a lot of trouble, considering he'd been the one to insist Tsuzuki not stay with him.

But what had happened? Why was he here? Who had found him?

Gaze diverting towards a nearby window, Hisoka lifted his hand to touch his throat, as if expecting there to still be a gaping wound. No. Just a scratch. "...Where's my gun?"

Shaking his head, Tsuzuki rose to a full stand "I don't know. Wherever it landed during that incident, I assume. If it's still there."

He looked off to the side slightly, a kind of relief was running through him but he was pissed at Hisoka for getting in that state in the first place. Even so, he wasn't planning to chew him out the second he'd woken up, for all his childish whims he wasn't always tactless. "If you tell me where it happened I'll go look for it for you."

Hisoka continued to look off to the side. Tsuzuki's anger was clear enough to him... Even if he hadn't had empathy, he would have been able to sense it. With it was only worse. And Tatsumi? Was Hisoka going to hear a lecture later on? Probably.

"Forget it. I'll go find it myself." Hanging his head, the teen grit his teeth and pushed the blankets aside to see that he was...in different clothes. He remembered the injuries he had gotten... His clothes ought to be soaked.

Widened eyes snapped up to glower at Tsuzuki. "Who?!" he choked out, voice cracking in horror. No matter the reason or intentions, the thought of anybody taking off his clothes and changing him...while unconscious made Hisoka physically ill. He would have preferred to stay in that mess of clothing!

Tsuzuki closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in through his nose before glaring at the opposite wall. There was no point in getting angry with Hisoka yet, he kept reminding himself.

"I did." He replied shortly, putting his hands into his pockets "They were soaked. It couldn't have been avoided with the kids staying here. I didn't want any more reason for further panic."

That had been his reasoning, and in his defence he had gone about the act with the utmost care and sense of decency that was just natural for him. Really, he hadn't thought on it much aside from predicting this reaction in the younger Shinigami. While trying to decide what to do in the first place however, Tsuzuki had already decided to take any and all of Hisoka's wrath over leaving him in bloodstained clothes.

He turned his head to the side then, watching Hisoka out the corner of his eye "And you're not going anywhere. You need more rest first."

Hisoka's fingers curled, nails biting into the fabric of the blanket as he glared, but it was obviously no use. It was already done. Tsuzuki had done it knowing Hisoka wouldn't want to be touched!

"Screw that! I'm fine, Tsuzuki, unless you're blind and can't tell." Standing, he shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair, feeling groggy. Maybe...he needed a shower first, though. Problem was, he would have to risk running into Tatsumi if he went down the hall.

"What time is it, anyway? How long was I out?"

Tsuzuki bit back a surge of annoyance threatening to shudder through him, gritting his teeth a little. Hisoka was really pushing it and it certainly wasn't helping Tsuzuki's attempts to stay calm. He was about a half poke in the wrong place for snapping at Hisoka and he knew it. With that knowledge came the logic that perhaps he should try and get some air, as much as his anger was conflicting with that sense of relief that the boy was, for all intents and purposes, okay now, at least physically.

"About a day or so," was the short reply as he turned toward the door "We picked you up from someone in the twelfth block and brought you back last night."

The older Shinigami took a few paces forward then, resting a hand on the door handle "Stay here. I'll go see if I can find your gun. Just don't push yourself, okay?"

A day?! Shit. Somewhere in the twelfth block... There was something there, nagging in the back of his mind. Something he felt like he ought to remember.

As he watched Tsuzuki walk to the door, Hisoka felt a surge of guilt, and...what was that? Loneliness. 'Don't go,' he wanted to say. 'I'm sorry.'

But he just kept his mouth shut, staring, then folding his arms across his chest and looking down, muttering out with more venom than he meant to, "I didn't go there to fight. It just happened."

Tsuzuki's hand paused upon the door, staring at the wood in front of his eyes before sighing and turning back around to stare at Hisoka firmly, not harshly or coldly, but definitely unimpressed "What did you go there for then?" He was about to add some snide comment about not expecting him and Saya to have gone there for tea and cookies, but he thought it better than to be immature about it.

He folded his arms across his chest, his back resting against the door as he watched Hisoka expectantly "You can't tell me you weren't expecting some kind of conflict to result in meeting with her like you did." Tsuzuki was maintaining his annoyance well, even if it was teetering on the edge.

With a scowl, Hisoka refused to raise his gaze. There was no way he wanted to know how Tsuzuki must have been looking at him right then...like he was some kid who had made a stupid mistake.

Like adults never got into trouble!

"...I wanted to know why she said those things. I wanted to talk where you guys wouldn't interfere...to find out how she knew those things." Something flashed across his gaze again, and there was practically a growl in his voice.

"If you all hadn't reacted the way you did, I could have salvaged it and denied it! I could have thought up an excuse for the way I reacted! But everyone jumping on her case... You all made it clear as day what happened to me! And anyone else who sees that will know!"

And now, there were practically tears in his eyes, though he hung onto his anger as best as he could. The humiliation of what his friends had unwittingly done, only in an attempt to protect him, was clear.

Tsuzuki listened carefully. Really, he should have been expecting something like that but the fact that Hisoka was so damn stubborn was what was getting to him most of all.

He drew away from the door then, walking right over to Hisoka and eyeing him closely.

"She wouldn't have believed any excuse you made up to explain it and you know that." He sighed heavily, casting a hard look downward and to the side "...and I am sorry for reacting that way in public, but not for the reaction itself. I won't stand for people talking that way to you, it wasn't fair and it was uncalled for. I can't stand people like that in any situation, let alone when it concerns you."

Lifting his eyes then, he narrowed his eyes at Hisoka "But I can't believe you were so stupid as to try and face all this alone. What do you think we are, strangers? We're your friends, Hisoka! How could you have expected us not to defend you or want to support you."

He clenched his fists at his sides then, a hurt feeling running through him "...and what do you think I am, exactly? We're supposed to be partners! Being here or back home makes no difference to me. I should have been with you then, we're supposed to move in pairs!" There was more to it than that of course, but Tsuzuki was trying to keep his argument as rational as possible, for now.

Narrowing his eyes, Hisoka continued to refuse to look him in the eye. Hurt? It was hard to tell if that was Tsuzuki's pain or his own... Must be his own. Tsuzuki was just...always getting concerned over other people's problems.

Other people's. Like a handful of others. Hisoka was just his partner. Just his stupid fucking kid partner.

Quickly turning away, Hisoka waved his hand over his shoulder dismissively. "Oh yeah? That's only when we're on a job, Tsuzuki! So sorry to disrupt protocolfor you, but you don't always get what you want okay?! Cool it, I'm fine now, and I doubt Tatsumi-san will be letting me outside except to go to work for awhile after this, anyway!"

"That is not the point! Do you have any idea how it was having to watch you walk and deal with that alone? I was worried about you, Hisoka! Doesn't that count for anything?!" And all too quickly he could feel whatever restraint he'd kept on his anger snapping as the words just kept on tumbling out.

"You're so damn stubborn! What the hell have you got to prove to anyone, anyway? Nothing! Especially not to some emotional leech like that and certainly not to any of us! But you keep acting that way regardless and you're too proud to let anyone help you! To let me help you, even! I know you can take care of yourself just fine but that doesn't mean you have to go facing everything by yourself! To have you shove me away to go watch the kids while you when and got yourself into that mess alone was just..."

He glared at the back of Hisoka's head, not daring to move from where he stood though. He knew he wouldn't stay mad at Hisoka, but in that moment he was livid.

"What is wrong with accepting my help, anyway? Weren't we talking about this just the other day? When we came to get you and found you in that state I was--" he stopped himself short, shivering with an especially heavy wave of frustration and looking down. He didn't want to be disappointed in his partner, he certainly didn't want to say it out loud either. His value of Hisoka was insanely high and to him a lost battle wasn't what he was disappointed about in this situation.

The fury was enough to make him waver, but as close as they were, the disappointment hit him like a brick wall. His stomach lurched, and Hisoka swung around to shout right back.

"Fuck you! Our last conversation was different than this! I don't need your help with every battle, Tsuzuki! I'm so sick of everyone thinking I can't handle myself in a fight! She just caught me off guard, that's all! It happens! Just because you're stronger than me... I don't need you fighting my battles! I can get stronger on my own! I can become stronger than you! I'm your partner at work and that's all I am, clearly, so since we're not working here so you can just go to hell and leave me the fuck alone!"

"I didn't say anything about fighting your battles, I said help you! I wanted to be there in case something had happened! I just told you, I know you can take care of yourself but that doesn't mean you have to do it alone! No-one can grow stronger alone, Hisoka!"

He couldn't stop himself from glaring at the younger Shinigami, but it was more a glare from being hurt and insulted by the whole thing as he took a heavy step forward, laying a hand on his own chest. "And I've not stopped classing us as partners, not for a second all the time we've been here! Where the hell are you getting the idea that you're only a partner to me at work?!"

His breathing was shaken, his eyes a blaze of annoyance on various levels as he moved his hands forward then to grab Hisoka's shoulders "I'm not going ANYWHERE, do you hear me?! I told you I'm staying with you wherever you go unless--" He stopped, loosening his hold as suddenly as he'd applied it, giving Hisoka a look like he'd been stabbed in the stomach. Unless Hisoka didn't want Tsuzuki to stay near him now... The anxiety from that concept dawning on him was almost emotionally crippling. The very idea was terrifying in so many ways. This was the boy who had brought him back from the brink of removing himself from existence, after all. Hisoka would most likely never know just to what extent Tsuzuki felt like he was existing for him at this point and the sheer value he really had. The thought that he could not want him around... it was soul-shattering almost.

Hisoka had just been very prepared to punch Tsuzuki square in the jaw to get him off of him, only to freeze as the touch brought a flood of thoughts and feelings. The loosened grip didn't soften the emotional contact at all...the stronger feelings only made it worse.

Anger. But then... Fear. Anxiety. Concern. Abandonment. Painpainpainpainpain.

"Fuck," was the most articulate thing he could choke out right that as he felt like his thoughts might just short circuit. His pupils dilated, knees buckling and legs completely giving out under him.

Tsuzuki was ready to back up to at least the wall behind him; he didn't want Hisoka to be effected by that kind of feeling he was having, but seeing he hadn't been quick enough and Hisoka's was having a physical reaction to it stripped his own concerns and replaced them with something else for the time being. It was also lasting long enough for him to move down quickly on one knee, his arm moving to catch the boy and allow his weight to fall against his shoulder and chest area. He couldn't stop himself from curling his other arm around the boy's shoulders then, his head lowering to lay it upon his shoulder as he held Hisoka close to him.

"...I was just worried about you...!" He choked out, his whole body vaguely shaking as he tightened his hold slightly "I was worried about you, damn it, and I wanted to be there! I'm only here because of you and I want to do what I can to show I appreciate that, but I don't know how... I have no idea at all... The only abilities I have are magic based... And if I can't use them for situations like this one then what can I do?"

He was used to Tsuzuki backing off whenever it got to be too much for Hisoka. But Tsuzuki was only holding him closer. Too much emotion. Fuck. Too much!

"Tsu...zuki...!" he gasped out, body going rigid in the other's tight embrace as he stared over his shoulder at the door. Too many emotions and thoughts were flooding him, so many that all they could do was blend together until it was just water, and he was drowning.

There were images now, memories from when Tsuzuki was worried. Finding him. Bringing him back. Punching that wall. Worried, so worried, ah, it hurt.

"Ts--..." He couldn't even form coherent words or react, his eyes glassy. Which feelings were his anymore? He was better than this. He'd been around Tsuzuki when he was upset. He could separate them. He had promised Tsuzuki that he could take on his pain and be fine! He just needed to gain control of himself. "...Tsu..."

It burnt, not physically but the mixture of feelings bore into him. It seemed to have been one thing after another recently and it was all just heavy on the both of them. He relaxed his hold a little however, one hand moving to lay it upon Hisoka's cheek as he lifted his head and pulling back to stare at the boy. But a realisation dawning on him as he saw that expression. That rush and mixture of feelings was flowing into the emerald-eyed boy. Tsuzuki was only making it worse. Holding Hisoka to him like that was damaging him. He was damaging.

He didn't want to let go of Hisoka, not really. He wanted to keep him as close to him as possible, lean against him, lay his fingers in his hair and just be. Just for a little while. But that look the boy had, it was like a physical expression of Tsuzuki's emotions and it was painful to see.

Pulling himself back, Tsuzuki moved to sit back heavily, one hand planting on the floor behind him as he lowered his eyes "...I'm sorry." He said quietly. Damn. This was not what how he had wanted this talk to go. He really should have told Hisoka to stay the hell in bed while he went out for some air. He would have rather have him snappy with him that with that look. The other hand however was reluctant to pull away from Hisoka's face, even though leaving it there was just defying the logic he had to move away from him to cease the feelings flowing into him.

Less contact was better, but not much. At the very least, Hisoka remembered how to breathe again, air rushing into his lungs so fast that it stung. Then his gaze seemed to focus, little by little. Tsuzuki's emotions were beginning to separate. Guilt was heavy in the mix now, though.

It almost felt like they were in sync...but Tsuzuki couldn't hear his thoughts. If only he knew how... The last time they had truly been in sync was their first battle against Muraki together, summoning Suzaku. But that had been so much of an overload that Hisoka had been the one to pass out, despite Tsuzuki being the one mostly injured.

"I can take it!" he finally gasped out, voice husky with emotion he rarely let show, but how could he hide it now when there was so much inside of him? Overflowing. That's what it was doing. Oh God. It was painful, but the complete opposite of Muraki's emotions. His were so dark and sinister... It was the kind of pain that made him want to scream.

His entire body was trembling with the effort of remaining conscious, still worn from his battle with Saya, and he made his body move. He could control it. He could handle it. He had promised Tsuzuki that he could...!

"Tsu... Tsuzuki! I can...take it." To keep him from completely pulling away, a hand lifted to press against Tsuzuki's keeping it form against his cheek. Rather than mirroring the placidness of a lake now, his deep green eyes surged with the emotions, a whirpool. "O...okay? Don't...don't run...you idiot...!"

The sudden and firm way Hisoka protested made Tsuzuki lift his head quickly, his wide amethyst eyes staring straight at his partner, drinking in the look those peridot eyes looking quite different to what he was used to.

He jumped a little at the contact in spite himself, looking briefly to the hand laying on his own before returning his gaze to the younger Shinigami's once more. He could see Hisoka was finding it hard to handle, but he was so sure he could do it that how could Tsuzuki insult his efforts by pulling away? Perhaps he could stay there as long as the emotions weren't suffocating, maybe it was okay. His eyes softened a little, starting to relax considerably. Hisoka wasn't telling him to go, the opposite in fact. That alone was calming him down significantly but he still couldn't pull eye contact away from Hisoka. It felt like he was drowning in those eyes, as though they were pulling him in. And they were, not just metaphorically either.

He didn't know how his face had suddenly come so close to the boy's, maybe it wasn't sudden and he had moved forward very slowly, he could never be sure. The only this he knew then was that his head was lowering a little, inclining to the side until his lips brushed Hisoka's gingerly without even the slimming hint of ill agenda behind the action.

Perhaps it was sudden for Tsuzuki, but for Hisoka it seemed like everything was moving in slow motion. He was still shaking a little, but that was a given, and when he realized that Tsuzuki's face was ever so slowly closing in, he felt all the blood rushing to his head...and possibly other places.

What was he supposed to do?! His natural instinct was to quickly draw away. Cringe. Hide. Muraki's face was naturally present in his mind, but he tried to shake that off. Illogical. Tsuzuki was nothing like Muraki. Tsuzuki was--

--kissing him.

With a gasp, Hisoka jerked back, eyes wide. Scared. He always would be. But he didn't let go of Tsuzuki's hand. Instead he bit his lip and stared, lips trembling as he whispered out, "I'm not...the same as the others?" Maybe that was what was so frightening.

Like a handful of others. It plagued him.
When Hisoka moved back, he held his breath. Oh God, a mistake. Of course it was, what else could it be? Damn, he was such an idiot. That fearful look Hisoka had, it was just always so heartbreaking in so many ways.

However, when Hisoka didn't pull away completely or shove him back fully, Tsuzuki remained where he was, watching his partner intensely until those words came. Others? He was taken aback by that and it showed in the obvious confusion on his face. "Others...?"

Tsuzuki could never have guessed the impact that one passing comment to Saya had made. He also could not have predicted that in trying to dumb down just how much Hisoka meant in public that it would have had that kind of knock on effect on the boy himself. The comment was far, far from his mind.

A faint smile came to him though as he leant his head in to press his forehead to Hisoka's gently.

"Hisoka..." He asked softly, watching his partner at that close range "There's no way you could be the same as anyone else. Didn't you hear me? I’m here because of you, for you... You are my reason."

If his face had been red before, Hisoka could only imagine what color his face was now. He was so flushed that he wondered if another curse was suddenly in effect, because the room was suddenly way too hot and he might just faint. But then again, he had been feeling faint ever since waking up... This just...didn't help.

But he didn't care. It was a nice feeling. Tsuzuki's feelings...rather than drowning him, were cushioning him. The sigh he let out then was something soft and airy, like the sound someone made when they had just bitten into their favorite dessert.

But nothing could mask his embarrassment, and so he shut his eyes with a nervous 'Hmph', ducking his head a bit and hunching his shoulders. "...Oh..." It was the best response he could manage out, so flustered he could hardly stand it, though there was a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

Tsuzuki gave a breathy little chuckle, his hand at Hisoka's cheek feeling the rise in temperature in his skin before he saw the colour. It was adorable, but for all the times Tsuzuki had mocked Hisoka's blushing in the past it really wasn't the right time to so now.

The older Shinigami shifted himself to pull Hisoka over to him, wrapping his arms gently but protectively over his upper torso as he peered down at him with a little bit of a smirk on his lips.

"... 'oh'?" He repeated with that slight grin "Don't tell me you didn't know that already. I thought that was pretty clear to see. Ahh~ I guess that was expecting a bit too much!" Well okay, maybe a bit of light mocking couldn't be avoided.

Tsuzuki's mocking made his eyebrow twitch, and he quickly sat back to glare up at him...though really it was a half-hearted attempt. He could tell Tsuzuki meant well...

It was strange...to see himself through Tsuzuki's eyes. ...It felt like a lie. Hisoka was hardly as grand as all that.

"You're the one who told Saya that I was just...!" Trailing off and unable to continue, he flushed again and looked back down.

Tsuzuki blinked a little "Huh?" He looked upward and to the left then, thinking hard. What had he said? What could make Hisoka look that over something he'd said to Saya?

Do you love him?

Oh. Oh... Right. It was suddenly dawning on him. He was sort of glad that his head was tilted up as he thought about that because it was his turn to blush. ...damn, this kid was a moron sometimes. And Hisoka called him an idiot!

"O-oh...! Well... She was... I mean, c-come on! What did you want me to say! If I'd... that is... If I'd said anything else she may have... used it to her advantage. And... It was all in public s-so..."

Tsuzuki's reasoning made sense... Perfect sense, really. Hisoka was a little pleased, because it would have been terrible if someone else had learned about it before him. Of course, though the words itself were not yet said, it seemed perfectly clear to Hisoka now...and that was just fine...

...Although. "I am not a moron!" Hisoka snapped out, jabbing his finger against Tsuzuki's chest. "You're the stupid one, thinking those kinds of thoughts while you're still touching me. You better watch it." Not that Hisoka's glare was particularly fierce... Just a little irritated.

"Ow! Hey!" He pouted at the sharp prodding, looking at Hisoka as though he'd just told him that the last bit of cake was gone... And Hisoka had eaten it. Impossible, of course.

Tsuzuki blinked then, smirking as he curled his arms around Hisoka's waist, lacing his fingers together to trap the boy against him.

"Oh no...! That poke... It's too much, balance failing...!" And with that he tilted himself backward to fall onto the floor, keeping a hold on Hisoka of course and chuckling at him lightly. Ahh, it was nice to have all that tension and confusion gone again. "And I'll think all I like while touching you! Hmm... What if I was thinking about kissing you again, hmm~? You'd be able to know I was thinking that~?" Tsuzuki was not perverted by nature, it just wasn't something that came to him easily but he could definitely think about giving Hisoka a slightly deeper kiss, if only to see the reaction gained from it.

"...Idiot!" he yelped as he had no choice but to fall with Tsuzuki, both hands flying to land against the wooden floor on either side of his partner's head to keep from completely falling onto him.

Still, as if the position wasn't embarrassing enough, Tsuzuki's thoughts were enough to make his eyes widen and his face turn a few more interesting shades of red. Talking about it so casually... He wasn't used to it, of course. Again, he thought of Muraki. But... It was difficult to be scared, when Tsuzuki's feelings were so warm and inviting. The longer he touched him, the more he adapted. It wasn't that he was learning to tune them out...just that he was learning to accept them as part of himself. Melding, but not quite losing himself.

...It was still difficult.

With a shudder, Hisoka lowered himself until he was propped on his elbows, offering Tsuzuki a slight scowl. "Pervert." Still, the fact that he had gotten even closer should have been enough evidence that he was curious. And, perhaps, the heartbeat that was thumping so loudly that he was positive anyone in the next apartment over could hear it.

Tsuzuki just grinned a hopelessly cute kind of grin at Hisoka, pulling one arm away from Hisoka and using it to prop himself up with his elbow slightly as his other hand came up to lightly hold his chin, looking at him wordlessly for a while. He seemed quite content just to look at the boy for a second or two.

His silence didn't last too long though, of course, as he smirked playfully "Hmm... Anymore insults you want to get out before it's too late?"

Damnit, why did Tsuzuki always have to make him so flustered?! Being flustered just made him feel stupid. And feeling stupid just made him angry. "Moron! Jerk! Dumbass!"

Oh, the list could go on. Still, as he spat out insult after insult, there was something warm hidden in his gaze, only visible due to their close proximity. "If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid!"

In any other situation, the barrage of insults would have him in a whimper mass in corner with an expression that some may associate with a kicked puppy. As matter stood however, he could only laugh, an amused, bright kind of noise that seemed to pour into every inch of his physical and mental being.

He tugged Hisoka a little closer then, not roughly of course, until his lips hovering barely a breath away from the other Shinigami's. It was a mean kind of humour, certainly, but he was sure Hisoka would forgive him... In a few years, maybe.

"...anymore?"

His body jerked a bit, now almost completely on top of him. His own eyes seemed to glisten from how very nervous he was, and once again there was his damn pulse. Thump-thump.

"...Not unless you want my language to get really foul," he threatened. Thump-thump. "Or are you perverted like that, too?" the boy accused, hardly believing himself. Uuuch. Tsuzuki's stupid teasing mood was definitely bleeding into him.

Perhaps to shut himself up more than anything, he finally closed the distance, what little there was, though he hardly knew what to do with himself once he let their lips touch. He just knew that contact alone was enough to make him unravel.

Tsuzuki wasn't expecting that movement and he blinked his widened eyes in surprise before relaxing once more. Damn Hisoka, ruining his fun...! He smiled into the kiss though, slipping his hand gently to the back of Hisoka's head as he returned the kiss.

He didn't want to do anything to startle the boy after all, despite his slightly pervy joking he had no intention in pushing anything too far. He knew full well Hisoka had gone through a lot and the last thing Tsuzuki wanted to was make him truly uncomfortable. ...that thought didn't kill his playful mood though apparently as he dared to flick his tongue out very briefly to touch it to Hisoka's lips before grinning and chuckling softly against his mouth ...is this okay? Really? Tell me to stop teasing you if it's not.

The testing lick made him blush all over again and jerk back a bit. Was it okay? The only other person who had ever kissed him like that was...the evil bastard. What was the appropriate thought? Disgust initially came to mind... Everything that man had done to him was disgusting.

But Tsuzuki made it seem...not. And he knew that by letting Muraki make him afraid of this sort of thing, he was letting that twisted monster win. Still a little frightened, but now twice as determined to ignore that, he dug his nails into the floorboard as if needing to grip onto something for comfort before letting his head duck back down for another kiss. This time his lips were parted just enough to allow entrance, though he was just as curious to explore as well. Kiss... It was just a kiss.

He could handle just a kiss.

For all his jest, Tsuzuki was the very least patient with Hisoka for the most part, not just with the current situation either. He wasn't scared when he felt Hisoka pull back a little that time, if anything he was expecting it given what he'd done. It was almost to get that kind of reaction even, but not in an overly cruel way. He was just trying to take the serious edge off a little. He didn't have to sense emotions to know Hisoka was nervous and no amount of telling him not to be would change that instantly.

He sighed faintly, moving one of his arms to lightly slip it about Hisoka's middle while his other hand remained settled at the back of his head, supporting him as best he could and trying to be as emotionally in control as possible. He knew if he was a wash of feelings it wouldn't help settle the younger Shinigami but part of him just wanted to hop to his feet, grab Hisoka and spin him around in an unexplained, irrational act of happiness. So maybe Hisoka would sense that at the very least, but it didn't matter too much because it wasn't like Tsuzuki was going to do anything to intentionally scare him too much in that moment.

Even with the offer to deepen the kiss, Tsuzuki took it easy, testing the area just barely inside Hisoka's mouth with the tip of his tongue as his thumb at the side of Hisoka's head made small smoothing circular motions through his hair. A kiss was supposed to be special and Tsuzuki knew how someone like Muraki could taint that. He was going to remove the venom associated with it. He was.

It was...nice, though for the life of him he wasn't sure how to respond, only able to go off on what hints he picked out of Tsuzuki's thoughts. Intimidating, surely, but suddenly in no way frightening.

It was with a shy determination that he moved a hand from the ground to slide and touch the side of Tsuzuki's face, fingertips tracing the line of his jaw. When he stiffened, it was sudden and seemingly out of the blue, his face jerking away a second later as he centred his gaze on the bedroom door.

Someone was home… and it had been at least a few minutes. How had he not been able to tell immediately? The only reason he could tell now was because somebody had just walked down the hall. Multiple someones.

And something wasn't right. It sent a chill through him as he shot Tsuzuki a worried look before scrambling off of him and moving over to the door, pulling it open just a crack to peek out.

A robot? Wait, it was carrying something.

...Oh. Shit.

That movement had come without any warning, leaving Tsuzuki blinking stupidly a few times at Hisoka before turning his head. Something wasn't right to cause such a reaction from the boy. Narrowing his eyes, Tsuzuki pulled himself up and off the floor and came to stand directly behind his partner to see what was going on, but the strange tension in the air already told him it was something strange.

His eyes widened slightly, resting his hand against the edge of the door above Hisoka's head to pull it open quickly and step out. He shot Hisoka a look mixed with a feeling of panicked confusion as dread seeped into his senses. But the overwhelming need to help took over as he moved forward quickly, unknowingly requesting a few things of Hisoka without really knowing it, the idea of running a hot bath and helping him prepare a clean bed being just a few.

There really was no end to it. It was going to be a long night. And to think, the feeling of anger from being helpless to protect and wanting to punch someone for harming people he cared for had only recently faded, too.