ext_245362 (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
mildlyreckless.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tampered2007-10-26 01:46 am
mildlyreckless.livejournal.com) wrote in tampered2007-10-26 01:46 am
Backdated Log; Complete
When; October 23rd, night, several hours after this.
Rating; R for language and conversation topics
Characters; Rem (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mother_rem) and Vash (mildlyreckless)
Summary; Vash is devastated. Rem is worried. Mommy-comfort tiemz ensue.
Log;
Several hours alone always gave a person plenty of time to cry and recover, if only from sheer exhaustion, and think. At least it had in Vash's experience. He wasn't sure how long he'd been in Xanadu now, but it had already gotten dark. If anything, it had been enough time for him to stop sobbing and be able to collect himself enough to push himself up off of the ground and slump back against a tree instead. Tears kept coming, but he simply breathed now. It felt like his mind was just giving in.
Wolfwood had slept with someone else.
He still didn't want to believe it. Maybe he had been lying to cover up something else that he'd done. Maybe he just wanted Vash to hate him so he wouldn't try to help. But he knew Wolfwood better than that. He wouldn't lie about this.
...Of course, Vash had thought Wolfwood would never DO something like that, so maybe his entire perception of the man was wrong. But his gut was telling him that Wolfwood had told him the truth. He'd seen it in his eyes.
He'd slept with someone else. A STRANGER.
~*~
A mother's instincts were truly something to behold. Rem knew Vash had talked to Wolfwood, though how she knew was a mystery of its own; probably through the small network of acquaintances and Vash's friends. But it didn't take her long to figure out Vash had left the building. The problem was that she couldn't figure out much from there. Knowing the Plant, he wouldn't want to be around anyone, so he'd likely go somewhere quiet and alienated. But there were a lot of places like that in the City. Somewhere he'd feel safe.
She had mentally argued with herself for about five minutes before going out to find him. This stupid curse was getting in the way and she couldn't ask anyone anything, so gut feelings were all she could go on. The sun was setting, only making her more worried. There was no telling what might happen if anyone affected found him. She finally stopped outside the gardens, catching her breath. It was the last place she hadn't looked.
~*~
Vash watched the creek from his place against the tree listlessly. He really didn't want to think anymore. The only thought that kept circling his head whenever he tried that was the realization that Wolfwood would rather have sex with someone else than let Vash help him. Not to mention the dark tracks his train of thought would begin to trail across as a result... Wondering what it was they actually did... Wondering if it had felt good... Oh, God.
Suddenly his senses flickered. Someone was out there looking for him. And he had a pretty good idea who it would be. He caught himself actually contemplating finding a hiding spot, but he shook the notion off and stayed where he was. It didn't matter so much. Not at this point.
~*~
It was interesting, Rem had to admit. That bright red coat was incredibly hard to see in the dark of night, and the fact that Vash's hair was black now didn't help either. The further into Xanadu she went, the more panicked she got. It wasn't until she was about to give up that she saw a familiar figure not too far. Rem stopped a ways away, just watching him. Being able to see he was physically okay was enough to make her not so worried, but there was still something wrong.
~*~
Vash's eyes dragged to the side and took in the sight of Rem standing several yards away. He'd been right after all. He let his head turn to the side to get a better look at her and then turned back to stare at the water in front of him. That would be the only acknowledgment she would get for now... He couldn't say anything to her.
~*~
Rem only watched. She'd half expected it, so staying where she was more than enough. The woman took a quick look around, then sat where she was, as if to indicate she wasn't going anywhere any time soon. But the look on Vash's face.. Rem wouldn't say anything until he was ready, and it looked like it'd be a while.
~*~
Vash just stared straight ahead. He wasn't sure how he felt about Rem's presence yet, but he wasn't hating it. So he let it be.
He sat in silence for what seemed to be nearly an hour before swallowing hard and forcing himself to say something.
"I—" he choked, his voice breaking off. Fuck that. He didn't even know if she knew anything. Hell, he didn't know anything at this point. Except for that clenching pain in his stomach. God, why did it hurt so much? Was he supposed to be able to just see past what Wolfwood had done? It was for Doumeki, right?
No. There had to have been another way. At the very least Wolfwood could have told him beforehand. God damn him.
"…Rem…"
~*~
"...Vash." Her voice was quiet, sympathetic. That he even said her name was a relief in itself. She wasn't going to ask what happened or what was said, since she guessed he would tell her if he wanted her to know. It's how he'd been ever since she arrived in the City and she wasn't going to force him to change that. It's who he was.
Still.. She kept watching him, resting her elbows on her knees. No wonder he had come here. It was so quiet. It occurred to her now she may be bothering him. She didn't really care right now.
~*~
Vash clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut, but didn't move otherwise. He could tell her. He could trust her. It wouldn't be so bad to just tell her... If he could just get the words to come out...
"He slept with someone else," he said, starting to cry again. "Wolfwood had sex with someone else."
~*~
"...." Okay that...that was unexpected. Rem had come to know Vash as someone to expect the unexpected from, but even a statement like that was beyond her comprehension.
"I..." she hesitated, watching him as he started crying again. To apologize would just almost be rude. It wasn't her this happened to, and she'd certainly never experienced anything like that. Instead, she opted to simply be there, keeping her eyes on him.
~*~
Vash threw his head back and let it hit hard against the tree trunk, forcing himself to calm down.
"We were out looking for him," he said, wishing he would stop shaking, "Absolutely terrified that he was hurt... And he was having sex with a stranger because he didn't want anyone to help him."
Vash's eyes flashed yellow with wrath, but he jammed the feeling back down into his gut.
"I was so ready to forgive him for killing someone... I wasn't ready to hear that he GAVE SOMEONE SOMETHING THAT SHOULD ONLY BE OURS."
The tree seemed to lean away from him, as if fearful, and Vash clenched his jaw again. He had to get a grip. If he didn't, there was a strong possibility he'd be paying for property damage. The tingle running down his right arm told him that much.
~*~
Rem could feel her skin crawl as he spoke, his anger seeming to feed her frustration. "...People make mistakes, you know that but.." But this didn't excuse what he'd done. She knew the guy was rash, but she was sure now that he really was a kid.
"..I'm sorry." She was sorry it'd happened. Sorry that Vash had to feel like this. She was sorry that all she could do was sit here and listen to the person she called her son tell her all these things. She lowered her head, closing her eyes as if searching for the right words to say.
"...He did something stupid without thinking of how it would affect those around him, but he was doing it for the good of someone else. It doesn't make it right, but..he had good intentions at heart." Her voice lowered some as she raised her head to look at him again. "..I'm sorry."
~*~
"He always does," Vash practically snapped, "He always has 'good intentions'. They got him killed. Twice. But they're always good intentions."
Vash knew what Rem was saying was true. And he honestly was agreeing with her. But he couldn't keep...taking this. How many more times would it take? Would Wolfwood just keep hurting him again and again because he was too proud to trust him? Because if that was the case... He just couldn't do this anymore.
He put his hands over his face and began to sob again. What if something horrible had happened to him? What if he'd just never come back?
Why did he agree to THAT?
~*~
Rem visibly winced at the snap; she should have seen that coming. But when he started crying, that was it. She got to her feet, dusting herself off as she walked to him and stood in front of him, looking up at his covered face.
"..." She opened her mouth to speak, but in all actuality, she had no idea what to say now. To say things would be okay would be a lie -- she didn't know if they would be. She gently reached her hands up to rest on top of his on his face, her brows furrowed a bit as she watched him. "..I'm right here."
~*~
Vash flinched at the touch. The only thing his mind associated that with at the moment was Wolfwood and--
Don't touch me! Not after you touched him!
He wanted to fling the touch away. He wanted space. But he didn't move against Rem. He wouldn't let himself. He sat almost painfully tense for a few minutes, but finally turned his hands to put his palms against Rem's, trembling weakly. He didn't want people to try and explain anything to him... He didn't want anyone to try and 'fix' it.
He just wanted someone to be there. And someone was.
"D-Don't go..."
~*~
Rem almost pulled her hands away feeling how tense he was, until she felt him moving his own hands. She left them there, not doing anything else for now but simply standing in front of him.
"I'm not going anywhere." That was the truth. Rem wouldn't go anywhere unless and until Vash said he wanted her to leave. "I'll stay as long as you want."
~*~
Vash kept his eyes shut and just leaned forward towards Rem a little. He didn't know what to say anymore. Part of him worried about what would happen if this got out... He didn't want people hating Wolfwood. He really didn't.
"You won't...tell anyone unless you have to, right?" he managed. "He... We... ...I still love him..."
~*~
Rem gently wrapped her hands around his, holding them. "Of course. ...I know you do." She wouldn't say anything else. She couldn't. "I won't say a word." Of course she wouldn't. She was good at keeping secrets. She had so many of other people's, what was one more?
"..You'll be okay. It..may get worse before everything works out, but you'll be okay." That was something Rem knew for sure, no matter what happened.
~*~
Vash winced a little, but slowly curled his fingers around Rem's hands.
"I... I can't...look at him," he stammered. "I don't want him near me."
He'd never said anything like that before... In the past when they'd had problems, Vash still wanted him close, just to make sure he was still around. But now... It was completely different.
"Why does it...matter so much?" he choked. "Should it matter this much?"
~*~
"It..that.. He broke your trust. That's..Something you shared only with him, not with anyone else." Rem kept watching him, nothing but sympathy in her eyes. "It'll take time, Vash.." This conversation was only getting more and more difficult.
She wanted to move closer. She wanted to just wrap her arms around him and hug him until he had a smile on his face again. But from his actions, Rem could tell Vash did not want anyone so close right now, and it seemed like he was forcing himself to let her be even this close.
~*~
Vash finally opened his eyes and looked at Rem's face. He'd been worried that he'd somehow see something he wouldn't like there, but he didn't. He started to lean forward for a hug, but his mind balked and he turned the lean into a brief sway, returning his back to the tree trunk. He just couldn't. Not yet.
"...I don't want to come home tonight," he said after a pause, his voice steadier this time. "I'll... I don't know. I'll find someone to stay with."
~*~
Rem had half expected him to say he wanted to stay out here all night, but that was okay too. She nodded with a soft sound.
"Be careful who you stay with.. There's a curse going around, and it's hard to tell who's affected and who isn't." May as well give him some warning since he probably hadn't been on the network. But too much at once seemed a bit insensitive, to her anyway. "So just..please be careful."
~*~
Vash nodded.
"I've heard about the curse," he said, his voice almost monotone. "Not much, but... I'll be careful."
He felt like he should do something more. Touch her, hug her, anything. But it just wasn't something he could do at that moment.
"If worse comes to worse, I'll sleep out here," he said numbly. "It's a nice night." He paused. "Tell Meryl not to worry. I know she will."
~*~
"I will. If anyone else asks, I'll tell them you're somewhere safe."
At what he said, Rem couldn't help but look up at the sky. It really was a nice night. She was contemplating just staying out here herself so she could think.
"...Sometimes... I wonder why the City brought me here. Something bad happens all the time, and we almost always get hurt somehow. But," she smiled tiredly, still looking at the sky, "I'm glad I'm here. I've gotten to see what kind of man you became. And I'm proud."
~*~
Vash sagged and bit back another series of sobs. He'd spent his entire life trying to carry on in a way that would make Rem smile. And now she was here telling him she was proud of him. He just wished he was in a better mental state to fully appreciate it.
He didn't know what to say, so instead he leaned against her, keeping her hands in his to make sure she wouldn't try to hug him. It was all he could do. That's what he always did.
~*~
That was always the problem. Rem always had some of the worst timing. She couldn't tell them about Tessla in time before she found out themselves, she couldn't figure out what was going on with the ships in time to stop it and survive, and here she was saying things at inappropriate times. Still, if it could help get his mind off the initial pain, then she'd say it as many times as she had to. And it was the truth.
Rem just smiled gently, letting him lean and kissed the top of his head. "It's okay.."
~*~
It didn't feel very okay. But Rem believed it would be. And so far Rem hadn't lied to him. Not when it really mattered. Vash closed his eyes again and sighed shakily.
"I want Wolfwood," he murmured, barely aware of what he was even saying. When his mind heard him say it, it hissed all too many reasons why he didn't want Wolfwood anywhere near him, but apparently a part of him wasn't listening.
~*~
Since he wouldn't let her hug him, Rem squeezed his hands gently, her voice just above a whisper. "I know... But..would you really want him to see you like this right now? Just wait a while. Let yourself calm down first." She felt like he'd gotten to where she could speak a little more freely. "Get yourself relaxed first, then worry about him."
~*~
Vash nodded once and stayed against Rem for a little longer before pulling away and releasing her hands.
"I need to figure out where I'm staying tonight," he said. "I have my portable device. If you need me, just send me a message."
~*~
With her hands free, Rem let them fall heavily to her sides, giving a nod. "I will. Just..let me know tomorrow that you're still okay?" It was more a request than her telling him to.
"...I think I might stay out here a bit longer," she stated. It'd let her have some time to mull over some things, and make sure she doesn't see which way he goes to be tempted to watch after him. Yes, staying here for now was the better idea. "You're right, it is a nice night."
~*~
Vash frowned at her.
"I wish you wouldn't," he said solemnly. "You don't even have a jacket. And with the curse... You should get back and check on Meryl and Milla and Miss Mela—"
His voice cracked again. Damn it.
"You should get home."
~*~
"...I'll leave first then," she answered quietly, already starting to turn to leave. Rem wasn't going to ask where he was going or who he was going to talk to; it'd just end up making her want to check in with him.
She glanced back over her shoulder at him, "..Please take care of yourself?"
~*~
Vash's expression turned up a little in a sad imitation of a half-smile and he nodded.
"I will, Rem. Thank you."
He'd never been more sincere.
Rating; R for language and conversation topics
Characters; Rem (
mother_rem) and Vash (mildlyreckless)Summary; Vash is devastated. Rem is worried. Mommy-comfort tiemz ensue.
Log;
Several hours alone always gave a person plenty of time to cry and recover, if only from sheer exhaustion, and think. At least it had in Vash's experience. He wasn't sure how long he'd been in Xanadu now, but it had already gotten dark. If anything, it had been enough time for him to stop sobbing and be able to collect himself enough to push himself up off of the ground and slump back against a tree instead. Tears kept coming, but he simply breathed now. It felt like his mind was just giving in.
Wolfwood had slept with someone else.
He still didn't want to believe it. Maybe he had been lying to cover up something else that he'd done. Maybe he just wanted Vash to hate him so he wouldn't try to help. But he knew Wolfwood better than that. He wouldn't lie about this.
...Of course, Vash had thought Wolfwood would never DO something like that, so maybe his entire perception of the man was wrong. But his gut was telling him that Wolfwood had told him the truth. He'd seen it in his eyes.
He'd slept with someone else. A STRANGER.
~*~
A mother's instincts were truly something to behold. Rem knew Vash had talked to Wolfwood, though how she knew was a mystery of its own; probably through the small network of acquaintances and Vash's friends. But it didn't take her long to figure out Vash had left the building. The problem was that she couldn't figure out much from there. Knowing the Plant, he wouldn't want to be around anyone, so he'd likely go somewhere quiet and alienated. But there were a lot of places like that in the City. Somewhere he'd feel safe.
She had mentally argued with herself for about five minutes before going out to find him. This stupid curse was getting in the way and she couldn't ask anyone anything, so gut feelings were all she could go on. The sun was setting, only making her more worried. There was no telling what might happen if anyone affected found him. She finally stopped outside the gardens, catching her breath. It was the last place she hadn't looked.
~*~
Vash watched the creek from his place against the tree listlessly. He really didn't want to think anymore. The only thought that kept circling his head whenever he tried that was the realization that Wolfwood would rather have sex with someone else than let Vash help him. Not to mention the dark tracks his train of thought would begin to trail across as a result... Wondering what it was they actually did... Wondering if it had felt good... Oh, God.
Suddenly his senses flickered. Someone was out there looking for him. And he had a pretty good idea who it would be. He caught himself actually contemplating finding a hiding spot, but he shook the notion off and stayed where he was. It didn't matter so much. Not at this point.
~*~
It was interesting, Rem had to admit. That bright red coat was incredibly hard to see in the dark of night, and the fact that Vash's hair was black now didn't help either. The further into Xanadu she went, the more panicked she got. It wasn't until she was about to give up that she saw a familiar figure not too far. Rem stopped a ways away, just watching him. Being able to see he was physically okay was enough to make her not so worried, but there was still something wrong.
~*~
Vash's eyes dragged to the side and took in the sight of Rem standing several yards away. He'd been right after all. He let his head turn to the side to get a better look at her and then turned back to stare at the water in front of him. That would be the only acknowledgment she would get for now... He couldn't say anything to her.
~*~
Rem only watched. She'd half expected it, so staying where she was more than enough. The woman took a quick look around, then sat where she was, as if to indicate she wasn't going anywhere any time soon. But the look on Vash's face.. Rem wouldn't say anything until he was ready, and it looked like it'd be a while.
~*~
Vash just stared straight ahead. He wasn't sure how he felt about Rem's presence yet, but he wasn't hating it. So he let it be.
He sat in silence for what seemed to be nearly an hour before swallowing hard and forcing himself to say something.
"I—" he choked, his voice breaking off. Fuck that. He didn't even know if she knew anything. Hell, he didn't know anything at this point. Except for that clenching pain in his stomach. God, why did it hurt so much? Was he supposed to be able to just see past what Wolfwood had done? It was for Doumeki, right?
No. There had to have been another way. At the very least Wolfwood could have told him beforehand. God damn him.
"…Rem…"
~*~
"...Vash." Her voice was quiet, sympathetic. That he even said her name was a relief in itself. She wasn't going to ask what happened or what was said, since she guessed he would tell her if he wanted her to know. It's how he'd been ever since she arrived in the City and she wasn't going to force him to change that. It's who he was.
Still.. She kept watching him, resting her elbows on her knees. No wonder he had come here. It was so quiet. It occurred to her now she may be bothering him. She didn't really care right now.
~*~
Vash clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut, but didn't move otherwise. He could tell her. He could trust her. It wouldn't be so bad to just tell her... If he could just get the words to come out...
"He slept with someone else," he said, starting to cry again. "Wolfwood had sex with someone else."
~*~
"...." Okay that...that was unexpected. Rem had come to know Vash as someone to expect the unexpected from, but even a statement like that was beyond her comprehension.
"I..." she hesitated, watching him as he started crying again. To apologize would just almost be rude. It wasn't her this happened to, and she'd certainly never experienced anything like that. Instead, she opted to simply be there, keeping her eyes on him.
~*~
Vash threw his head back and let it hit hard against the tree trunk, forcing himself to calm down.
"We were out looking for him," he said, wishing he would stop shaking, "Absolutely terrified that he was hurt... And he was having sex with a stranger because he didn't want anyone to help him."
Vash's eyes flashed yellow with wrath, but he jammed the feeling back down into his gut.
"I was so ready to forgive him for killing someone... I wasn't ready to hear that he GAVE SOMEONE SOMETHING THAT SHOULD ONLY BE OURS."
The tree seemed to lean away from him, as if fearful, and Vash clenched his jaw again. He had to get a grip. If he didn't, there was a strong possibility he'd be paying for property damage. The tingle running down his right arm told him that much.
~*~
Rem could feel her skin crawl as he spoke, his anger seeming to feed her frustration. "...People make mistakes, you know that but.." But this didn't excuse what he'd done. She knew the guy was rash, but she was sure now that he really was a kid.
"..I'm sorry." She was sorry it'd happened. Sorry that Vash had to feel like this. She was sorry that all she could do was sit here and listen to the person she called her son tell her all these things. She lowered her head, closing her eyes as if searching for the right words to say.
"...He did something stupid without thinking of how it would affect those around him, but he was doing it for the good of someone else. It doesn't make it right, but..he had good intentions at heart." Her voice lowered some as she raised her head to look at him again. "..I'm sorry."
~*~
"He always does," Vash practically snapped, "He always has 'good intentions'. They got him killed. Twice. But they're always good intentions."
Vash knew what Rem was saying was true. And he honestly was agreeing with her. But he couldn't keep...taking this. How many more times would it take? Would Wolfwood just keep hurting him again and again because he was too proud to trust him? Because if that was the case... He just couldn't do this anymore.
He put his hands over his face and began to sob again. What if something horrible had happened to him? What if he'd just never come back?
Why did he agree to THAT?
~*~
Rem visibly winced at the snap; she should have seen that coming. But when he started crying, that was it. She got to her feet, dusting herself off as she walked to him and stood in front of him, looking up at his covered face.
"..." She opened her mouth to speak, but in all actuality, she had no idea what to say now. To say things would be okay would be a lie -- she didn't know if they would be. She gently reached her hands up to rest on top of his on his face, her brows furrowed a bit as she watched him. "..I'm right here."
~*~
Vash flinched at the touch. The only thing his mind associated that with at the moment was Wolfwood and--
Don't touch me! Not after you touched him!
He wanted to fling the touch away. He wanted space. But he didn't move against Rem. He wouldn't let himself. He sat almost painfully tense for a few minutes, but finally turned his hands to put his palms against Rem's, trembling weakly. He didn't want people to try and explain anything to him... He didn't want anyone to try and 'fix' it.
He just wanted someone to be there. And someone was.
"D-Don't go..."
~*~
Rem almost pulled her hands away feeling how tense he was, until she felt him moving his own hands. She left them there, not doing anything else for now but simply standing in front of him.
"I'm not going anywhere." That was the truth. Rem wouldn't go anywhere unless and until Vash said he wanted her to leave. "I'll stay as long as you want."
~*~
Vash kept his eyes shut and just leaned forward towards Rem a little. He didn't know what to say anymore. Part of him worried about what would happen if this got out... He didn't want people hating Wolfwood. He really didn't.
"You won't...tell anyone unless you have to, right?" he managed. "He... We... ...I still love him..."
~*~
Rem gently wrapped her hands around his, holding them. "Of course. ...I know you do." She wouldn't say anything else. She couldn't. "I won't say a word." Of course she wouldn't. She was good at keeping secrets. She had so many of other people's, what was one more?
"..You'll be okay. It..may get worse before everything works out, but you'll be okay." That was something Rem knew for sure, no matter what happened.
~*~
Vash winced a little, but slowly curled his fingers around Rem's hands.
"I... I can't...look at him," he stammered. "I don't want him near me."
He'd never said anything like that before... In the past when they'd had problems, Vash still wanted him close, just to make sure he was still around. But now... It was completely different.
"Why does it...matter so much?" he choked. "Should it matter this much?"
~*~
"It..that.. He broke your trust. That's..Something you shared only with him, not with anyone else." Rem kept watching him, nothing but sympathy in her eyes. "It'll take time, Vash.." This conversation was only getting more and more difficult.
She wanted to move closer. She wanted to just wrap her arms around him and hug him until he had a smile on his face again. But from his actions, Rem could tell Vash did not want anyone so close right now, and it seemed like he was forcing himself to let her be even this close.
~*~
Vash finally opened his eyes and looked at Rem's face. He'd been worried that he'd somehow see something he wouldn't like there, but he didn't. He started to lean forward for a hug, but his mind balked and he turned the lean into a brief sway, returning his back to the tree trunk. He just couldn't. Not yet.
"...I don't want to come home tonight," he said after a pause, his voice steadier this time. "I'll... I don't know. I'll find someone to stay with."
~*~
Rem had half expected him to say he wanted to stay out here all night, but that was okay too. She nodded with a soft sound.
"Be careful who you stay with.. There's a curse going around, and it's hard to tell who's affected and who isn't." May as well give him some warning since he probably hadn't been on the network. But too much at once seemed a bit insensitive, to her anyway. "So just..please be careful."
~*~
Vash nodded.
"I've heard about the curse," he said, his voice almost monotone. "Not much, but... I'll be careful."
He felt like he should do something more. Touch her, hug her, anything. But it just wasn't something he could do at that moment.
"If worse comes to worse, I'll sleep out here," he said numbly. "It's a nice night." He paused. "Tell Meryl not to worry. I know she will."
~*~
"I will. If anyone else asks, I'll tell them you're somewhere safe."
At what he said, Rem couldn't help but look up at the sky. It really was a nice night. She was contemplating just staying out here herself so she could think.
"...Sometimes... I wonder why the City brought me here. Something bad happens all the time, and we almost always get hurt somehow. But," she smiled tiredly, still looking at the sky, "I'm glad I'm here. I've gotten to see what kind of man you became. And I'm proud."
~*~
Vash sagged and bit back another series of sobs. He'd spent his entire life trying to carry on in a way that would make Rem smile. And now she was here telling him she was proud of him. He just wished he was in a better mental state to fully appreciate it.
He didn't know what to say, so instead he leaned against her, keeping her hands in his to make sure she wouldn't try to hug him. It was all he could do. That's what he always did.
~*~
That was always the problem. Rem always had some of the worst timing. She couldn't tell them about Tessla in time before she found out themselves, she couldn't figure out what was going on with the ships in time to stop it and survive, and here she was saying things at inappropriate times. Still, if it could help get his mind off the initial pain, then she'd say it as many times as she had to. And it was the truth.
Rem just smiled gently, letting him lean and kissed the top of his head. "It's okay.."
~*~
It didn't feel very okay. But Rem believed it would be. And so far Rem hadn't lied to him. Not when it really mattered. Vash closed his eyes again and sighed shakily.
"I want Wolfwood," he murmured, barely aware of what he was even saying. When his mind heard him say it, it hissed all too many reasons why he didn't want Wolfwood anywhere near him, but apparently a part of him wasn't listening.
~*~
Since he wouldn't let her hug him, Rem squeezed his hands gently, her voice just above a whisper. "I know... But..would you really want him to see you like this right now? Just wait a while. Let yourself calm down first." She felt like he'd gotten to where she could speak a little more freely. "Get yourself relaxed first, then worry about him."
~*~
Vash nodded once and stayed against Rem for a little longer before pulling away and releasing her hands.
"I need to figure out where I'm staying tonight," he said. "I have my portable device. If you need me, just send me a message."
~*~
With her hands free, Rem let them fall heavily to her sides, giving a nod. "I will. Just..let me know tomorrow that you're still okay?" It was more a request than her telling him to.
"...I think I might stay out here a bit longer," she stated. It'd let her have some time to mull over some things, and make sure she doesn't see which way he goes to be tempted to watch after him. Yes, staying here for now was the better idea. "You're right, it is a nice night."
~*~
Vash frowned at her.
"I wish you wouldn't," he said solemnly. "You don't even have a jacket. And with the curse... You should get back and check on Meryl and Milla and Miss Mela—"
His voice cracked again. Damn it.
"You should get home."
~*~
"...I'll leave first then," she answered quietly, already starting to turn to leave. Rem wasn't going to ask where he was going or who he was going to talk to; it'd just end up making her want to check in with him.
She glanced back over her shoulder at him, "..Please take care of yourself?"
~*~
Vash's expression turned up a little in a sad imitation of a half-smile and he nodded.
"I will, Rem. Thank you."
He'd never been more sincere.