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tampered2007-10-29 11:09 pm
1hatwonder.livejournal.com) wrote in tampered2007-10-29 11:09 pm
log; complete
When; October 30, near wee hours in the morning
Rating; PG-13, for language and violence
Characters; Urahara (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
1hatwonder), Yoruichi (goddes_of_flash
Summary; It was time that Urahara and Yoruichi ended their break, but coming face to face with each isn't as easy as one would hope. FYI This was written before the last curse, so things might seem kinda strange.
Log;
It was the middle of the night when Urahara trudged up the stairs, managed to unlock the front door, slide off his sandals, shut the door, and crash on the couch. Staying in the underground training facility for an extended length of time, with brief periods of coming up and working with others, or for various other little things, really scewed one's time.
He was exhasted, that was for sure, as Benihime made sure not to allow him much time to sleep and pushed him to his limit, physically and mentally. Sinking further into the couch, he pulled off his hat and closed his eyes. Normally, he'd go to his actual bed, but... that was the last place he currently felt like going. He didn't want to wake Yoruichi, rather, make his return something of a surprise, but he also knew of something that he probably shouldn't have. Something that he wish he never found out, for the moments he had time to rest, it was all he could think about. Life seemed to work in funny ways like that.
With a sigh, and nuzzling the pillow as he got comfortable, he managed to fall into a light sleep.
Yawning, throwing arms over her head in a long stretch, Yoruichi sat up and glanced blearily around the room, blinking sleepy golden eyes. Was... no, there wasn't anyone there. At least, not since Greed had left. Sighing, the dark-skinned woman ran fingers through touseled hair, not really trying to neaten it, more just to rake bangs out of her face before yanking the tie out of her hair. She should stop sleeping with a ponytail in, it really made a mess of things. But then, the only one she'd ever been comfortable letting it down around since it got long was Kisuke. It made her look too girly, at least as far as she was concerned, and Kisuke was really the only one who didn't seem to view her differently because of that.
Kisuke... standing up and stretching again before snagging the black robe she tended to wander around in, the ex-shinigami pushed back a flare of guilt that wormed it's way into her mind. It didn't make sense, where was the guilt coming from? Because of what had happened with the homunculus? Yoruichi scratched her head, a bit perplexed. Sure, she could see where that sort of thing could cause problems in relationships, but then it had never been a problem between her and Kisuke. Hell, it wasn't as though he hadn't been with other people before, and that had never bothered her. So why now, did she feel as though she owed him some sort of.... apology, she guessed?
Digging palms into her eyes, she groaned and slid the door aside, pausing to find her eyes resting on the source of her mental distress. Curled up on the couch, snuggled up with a pillow and sleeping softly. Chewing her bottom lip slightly, she padded softly across the room and reached down with one hand to shake his shoulder.
"Kisuke.."
With a jolt, his eyes opened and he blearily looked up and met golden eyes. "Oh... I didn't wake you, did I?" He yawned and again nuzzled the pillow, "I was trying to be quiet..."
His hand moved up his shoulder and enclosed her hand. "It's been a while; you holding up okay?" He frowned at the question - it was rather obvious she was doing just fine, but he felt it was needed.
Playing the expression off as if he was trying to get optimum comfort, he only hoped she didn't ask him to go to the bedroom. He didn't want to think about it, shouldn't think about it - her actions and desires were none of his business, really, yet he couldn't help his heart pounding quickly full of the icy pain of reality.
Benihime had laughed at him, mocked and teased him for such emotions with that high-pitched stern tone of hers and it only echoed in his mind, nearly blocking out all sound. Kisuke, you're a love~sick~ fool! Your swordsmanship has been affected greatly for that woman... There was no friendly tones as they trained intensely once again, no comforting words, no praises as steel clashed and criticism was at its best.
Shaking her head, she turned her hand slightly to curl fingers around his. It felt good, familiar, and made her realize with a pang of emotion how much she'd really missed him. Sighing inwardly, Yoruichi couldn't help but wonder how much good this separation had really done for them. She'd thought it would help, but now... it seemed the absence of his familiar presence had only made stress and discomfort worse.
"No, you didn't wake me. What time is it, anyway?"
Glancing around, golden eyes settled on the clock, silently logging away the time on the display. "That late already? Wow, didn't realize I was that tired. Guess I overdid it a bit."
Turning back to him, she cocked her head to the side. He looked tired, and in more then just a physical sense. "You alright? You look a bit ragged, Kisuke."
"Mm." He mumbled his reply, "Benihime doesn't go easy on me. Those on again, off again nonstop three day training sessions has taken alot out of me, that's all. You know how critical she can be."
He neglected to add the part of knowing what she's been up to, at least within the last day or two. He did feel stronger physically, and it had been a while since he took to training that seriously. He thought he was stronger emotionally, especially after hearing Benihime's twist on reality, but coming back, noticing things that were different, as he usually tended to pick up on, seeing her again - it almost felt like it was a waste. But of course he wasn't going to say anything, wasn't going to act differently than he had before.
Squeezing her hand, he ran the pad of his thumb over her skin, and with a lazy smirk, "You called her a bitch once, if I remember correctly."
"That's because she is one. You know she hates me, right?"
Pulling her hand from his, she crossed arms over her chest and stepped around, simply shoving him rather unceremoniously over to give herself a piece of couch to plop herself down on. Leaning back, she let her head loll back, hitting the cushion on the back with a soft impact and a heavy sigh, restlessly shifting shoulders a bit. "Guess we both are a bit out of practice, you know? I never figured I'd end up so stiff from so much Shunko..."
She wasn't addressing her real concern, at least not yet. Raking eyes over him again, subtly so as to avoid notice, she resolutely kept the frown from gliding across her features. He wasn't telling her something. There was tired, and then there was tired. Two very different things, and right now it seemed as though Kisuke was rather tightly in the grip of the other sort of tired. The kind that didn't come from beating up your body. It aggravated her, when he got like this. Acting like everything was normal, like things were -- how did the humans put it? -- peachy-keen, especially when she knew that wasn't the case. In a way, it was an affront to her intelligence, for him to act as though he thought she wasn't capable of figuring things out on her own, as if she were blind to the subtle changes in his persona and mannerisms. But right now, it wasn't bothering her enough for it to be an issue. Yet.
"She doesn't hate you..." He paused for a moment, remembering her words, "Ok, maybe a little. She's just overly critical and protective, that's all." It almost seemed like there were no women in his life that didn't like to be headstrong and independant, other than dear Ururu.
"But yes, I think we have been a little out of practice... Just after the first day, all I can really say is 'wow'." He rubbed at his eyes, seeing as she wasn't interested in allowing him to sleep, "We've grown lazy, I suppose."
The atmosphere seemed slightly awkward, something he hadn't felt between them in a long time. He usually played the part of a good actor, but she must've picked up on him, giving the way she was looking at him. "Why are you looking at me like that, Yoru?" He propped his head on his palm, meeting her gaze. Any other time he would say something egotistical about it, but judging by the atmosphere and his tiredness, he decided against it. Better not push it.
"Stop it."
Well, that wasn't quite how she'd seen this playing out in her mind. Not really at all. Although... honestly, she hadn't really done much thinking about it. Most of the thinking was confined to not thinking about it, in fact. But it was beginning to get on her nerves. She hated when he hid things, she always had. And she just plain wasn't feeling up to weedling it out of him.
"You know I hate it when you do that, Kisuke so just tell me what it is."
He had the potential to be brutally honest sometimes, usually when people don't want to hear it, such as this time. "It's nothing, Yoruichi." He waved his unoccupied hand in her direction. "Don't worry about it." He rather not hear it himself, for that would mean he'd have to acknowlege it himself. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, trying to force it was anything but bliss.
Golden eyes narrowed with a growl and she felt fingers tighten around the handle of the mug she was about to pour tea into. Damn him. She was going to be nice and make him some breakfast, but if he was going to be an asshole about it... gritting her teeth, she forced fingers to relax, then poured some of the steaming liquid into the mug, turning back around.
"Tea, Kisuke?"
She was agitated, there was no doubt about that. "It's not hot tea, is it?" He watched her intensely, well knowing this could potentially go awfully wrong. If anything, he'd like to come out of this unharmed. He should say something... "Yoruichi, really, everything is alright."
A deceptively sweet smile should have clued him in that he was treading dangerous waters. Luckily for him, the tea wasn't that hot, lukewarm really. Which was a good thing as it was suddenly pulled back and flung at him.
"Of course it is, Kisuke. In fact, since everything is SO "alright", you can just TAKE your "alright" and shove it and stop insulting my intelligence!"
With a snarl, she contemplated throwing the entire kettle, but instead simply turned on her heel with a snap and stalked back across the room towards the door. She really didn't need to deal with this sort of shit from him right now. If he wanted to be an irritating secretive bastard, she'd just find something else to do besides keep him company. Whether she'd missed him or not.
She may have been called "Goddess of Flash", but he didn't earn his captain rank for nothing. Tired or not, having warm liquid splash him woke him right up, and reflexes worked all at once.
Managing to snap to his feet, and within a step, he grabbed her wrist and spun her to face him. Both his hands tightened around her wrists before pushing her back against the wall. His lazy posture was gone as he stood to his full height, all his jovial nature completely washed away. Blue-grey eyes bored into hers, as he stood there studying her, face full of uncharacteristic seriousness. "Did you think I would not notice it, Yoruichi? It's rather hard to hide it when the room reeks of it!"
He didn't want to be here; he didn't want to do this. "Who was it, Yoruichi? WHO!?" He knew who it was, but had to hear it. If she struggled, he wouldn't move, if she spat on him, he wouldn't flinch.
Lantern-eyes widened, slitted pupils dilating in shock as he spun her and shoved her up against the wall, all his usual easygoing nature washed away, leaving not the man she knew and loved, but the former captain. Ruthless seriousness and tempered emotions, glaring down at her with their demands for answers.
Despite her surprise, shock quickly gave way to something else. Anger. Anger, mixed with resentment and outrage at the hypocrisy of the situation. So what, now he could do whatever he wanted without question, but she had to be put to the third degree? Crushing the spot of guilty regret at her own actions -- she honestly hadn't meant for it to happen, but it had and there was little worth in obsessing over it now -- she fixed him with a deadly glare.
"The hell!? Since when is that any of your business how I spend my time, Kisuke? Or am I under your jurisdiction now, and that gives you the right to grill me whenever the hell you want?! News flash, Kisuke. You don't get to."
Shaking her head slightly, she regarded him with an angry gaze. "And what the hell is wrong with you, anyway? You're acting like this is something different, something unusual. It's the SAME, Kisuke! The same as always. I've never questioned what the hell you do on your own time, so does this mean now I can go fucking psycho on you because I come home and have to watch some long-haired stranger walk out the door? I've never questioned it, any more than YOU have, so why now? Tell me, Kisuke. Why the hell does it fucking matter so much now?"
"I haven't slept with anyone but you for years, Yoruichi! You want to know why? Is it not obvious!? Why does it seem that I have to remind you? It's love, Yoruichi, L-O-V-E. I never thought I'd get this way, grow so soft. Lord knows Benihime wouldn't stop reminding me of this! Would not stop berating me at any cost these past weeks. But... I can't stop. I've tried, and I'm still trying to."
His grip eased for a bit, probably giving her the thought he was about to let go, but before she could pull away, strength returned to him. "THAT'S why I give such a damn. I know things shouldn't change, and... I'm not asking to! I just.." His mind was racing, words and thoughts were flashing through his mind.
Forcefully, he pulled her hand to his tea-dampened chest over his heart in one jerky motion, "Do you feel this? Do you even understand this!? Do you know how much it hurts right now? Do you know how sick I felt and still do?"
He was angry, at her but mostly at himself; it was dangerous being near her, as he allowed himself to be swept away in emotions he wasn't supposed to have. "If this is some kind if game to you, Yoruichi, stop it now. I can't play anymore."
So many questions were begging to be asked, so much emotion was being displayed, and he felt like an idiot.
Fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, shaking slightly with supressed emotion as her voice dropped to a strained whisper. "Do I understand? Do I know how much it hurts?"
Almost unbidden, her fist yanked itself away only to impact his chest again as she shoved him away from herself to stand with shoulders trembling as she narrowed pained yellow gaze on him. "Maybe it hurts something close to as much as it does to have you act as though loving me is such an awful mistake that you have to go and erase it, hide it away like it never existed. But I guess you're right, that's what should be done. It doesn't matter...how hard it was......how much....."
Gritting her teeth, she spun and lashed out, fist going straight through the thin wooden panel of the door, unheeding of the jagged edges as she wrenched it free, ignoring the deep rents the wood gauged into her forearm. "You think it was fucking easy, Kisuke?... Easy to.....to finally face.......and then have it thrown back at you like that......like it didn't fucking matter because it's not the way things are supposed to be, it's against the rules. So you know what, I tried. Tried to ignore it, tried to push it away and pretend it wasn't there, but I can't even do THAT, can I?"
Her hand dropped to her side, small droplets of blood sliding down her hand to drip off of fingertips in fat droplets onto the tatami as she curled bloody fingers into a fist, gritting her teeth and staring down at bare toes. "Every time.....every time it's someone else.....trying to pretend it doesn't matter, that...that I'm not pretending it's you every time... because it never feels RIGHT unless it's you...."
With a sigh, she raked her uninjured hand through dark bangs, finally raising her head to look at him, eyes moist and expression strained and emotionless. "It's fine, Kisuke. You think this is just a game to me.... you obviously don't know me as well as I thought you did. I'll....I'll just go. Good luck, Kisuke. It's.... it's been really special.... I'll miss it."
Turning, she reached for the door. This was it. She'd leave. For good, this time. It was for the best, really. Things had gone too far, they'd gotten too close to the edge. And they'd fallen, fallen hard. Now.... there wasn't really any other option. She could stay, and keep hurting him and hurting herself.... or she could fade away, vanish into the stories and laughter and tears of the past, cut her losses and just.... go on.
His hand slid around her waist, stopping her. Once again he pushed her against the wall, only much more gentle now. "It's never been a game for me." He replied softly, bringing her injured hand to his mouth. "I've risked too much." His tongue ran across the broken knuckles, before hesitantly sticking one digit in his mouth, sucking at the fresh blood.
With a pop, he released her finger, eyes studying her - trying to read her. "I can't stomach you with anyone else anymore." He took in another digit and cleaned it as well, ignoring the irony taste left in his mouth.
When her hand was as clean as he could get it, and seeing that she wasn't going to run off, he embraced her, engulfing her in his arms. Not knowing what was possessing him, the questions burned at him - he had to be reassured in his own way. "I've missed you, Yoru..." It was a whisper in her ear, "Tell me - did he touch you like I do?" A kiss was placed at the edge of her jaw, "Did he make you moan? Beg?" His hands slide down her shoulders, finding her hands and laced them with his as he pressed them flat against the wall on opposite sides of her, "Did he make you come as I do?"
His lips ghosted down her neck as he brought their bodies flush, "Did you think of me?"
Yoruichi was going to say something, try to argue with him, but then his arms were around her, lips brushing against her ear and it was all she could do to keep from moaning as he pressed her back against the wall. God, it was so unfair, the fact that he knew just how to get to her, knew it made her so hot to hear him say the sort of things he was saying now. Biting her lower lip, she tried to remind herself that she was angry with him, hurt over the way things were, ready to walk out. But... instead she was trembling, faint whimpers breaking their way through clenched lips. With a thick swallow, she leaned her head back with a faint moan as his lips slid down her throat.
"N...No one....no one makes.....makes me feel....like you do......Kisuke......"
Did she think of him, when she was tangled up with someone else? The question really didn't seem to her as though it needed answering. She always thought of him, no matter who she was with, what she was doing. With Kisuke... things worked. It was more than just physicality, more than just an act. "Hn......a...always....thinking of you...Kisuke...."
His hips pressed into hers, as he released a shuddering breath, "Tell me you love me, Yoruichi. I want to hear you tell me; need to hear it." He moved to where her neck and shoulder met, and lightly bit her.
"I... Didn't mean to upset you." He wanted her, desire was almost tearing him apart, replacing his anger. "But... I can't share you. Not anymore." It was against his better judgement to be like this currently, but the questions burned, and all he wanted to do was touch her and... her hands on him. He wanted her to be open, to hear the words escape from her mouth.
Continue to part 2
Rating; PG-13, for language and violence
Characters; Urahara (
1hatwonder), Yoruichi (goddes_of_flashSummary; It was time that Urahara and Yoruichi ended their break, but coming face to face with each isn't as easy as one would hope. FYI This was written before the last curse, so things might seem kinda strange.
Log;
It was the middle of the night when Urahara trudged up the stairs, managed to unlock the front door, slide off his sandals, shut the door, and crash on the couch. Staying in the underground training facility for an extended length of time, with brief periods of coming up and working with others, or for various other little things, really scewed one's time.
He was exhasted, that was for sure, as Benihime made sure not to allow him much time to sleep and pushed him to his limit, physically and mentally. Sinking further into the couch, he pulled off his hat and closed his eyes. Normally, he'd go to his actual bed, but... that was the last place he currently felt like going. He didn't want to wake Yoruichi, rather, make his return something of a surprise, but he also knew of something that he probably shouldn't have. Something that he wish he never found out, for the moments he had time to rest, it was all he could think about. Life seemed to work in funny ways like that.
With a sigh, and nuzzling the pillow as he got comfortable, he managed to fall into a light sleep.
Yawning, throwing arms over her head in a long stretch, Yoruichi sat up and glanced blearily around the room, blinking sleepy golden eyes. Was... no, there wasn't anyone there. At least, not since Greed had left. Sighing, the dark-skinned woman ran fingers through touseled hair, not really trying to neaten it, more just to rake bangs out of her face before yanking the tie out of her hair. She should stop sleeping with a ponytail in, it really made a mess of things. But then, the only one she'd ever been comfortable letting it down around since it got long was Kisuke. It made her look too girly, at least as far as she was concerned, and Kisuke was really the only one who didn't seem to view her differently because of that.
Kisuke... standing up and stretching again before snagging the black robe she tended to wander around in, the ex-shinigami pushed back a flare of guilt that wormed it's way into her mind. It didn't make sense, where was the guilt coming from? Because of what had happened with the homunculus? Yoruichi scratched her head, a bit perplexed. Sure, she could see where that sort of thing could cause problems in relationships, but then it had never been a problem between her and Kisuke. Hell, it wasn't as though he hadn't been with other people before, and that had never bothered her. So why now, did she feel as though she owed him some sort of.... apology, she guessed?
Digging palms into her eyes, she groaned and slid the door aside, pausing to find her eyes resting on the source of her mental distress. Curled up on the couch, snuggled up with a pillow and sleeping softly. Chewing her bottom lip slightly, she padded softly across the room and reached down with one hand to shake his shoulder.
"Kisuke.."
With a jolt, his eyes opened and he blearily looked up and met golden eyes. "Oh... I didn't wake you, did I?" He yawned and again nuzzled the pillow, "I was trying to be quiet..."
His hand moved up his shoulder and enclosed her hand. "It's been a while; you holding up okay?" He frowned at the question - it was rather obvious she was doing just fine, but he felt it was needed.
Playing the expression off as if he was trying to get optimum comfort, he only hoped she didn't ask him to go to the bedroom. He didn't want to think about it, shouldn't think about it - her actions and desires were none of his business, really, yet he couldn't help his heart pounding quickly full of the icy pain of reality.
Benihime had laughed at him, mocked and teased him for such emotions with that high-pitched stern tone of hers and it only echoed in his mind, nearly blocking out all sound. Kisuke, you're a love~sick~ fool! Your swordsmanship has been affected greatly for that woman... There was no friendly tones as they trained intensely once again, no comforting words, no praises as steel clashed and criticism was at its best.
Shaking her head, she turned her hand slightly to curl fingers around his. It felt good, familiar, and made her realize with a pang of emotion how much she'd really missed him. Sighing inwardly, Yoruichi couldn't help but wonder how much good this separation had really done for them. She'd thought it would help, but now... it seemed the absence of his familiar presence had only made stress and discomfort worse.
"No, you didn't wake me. What time is it, anyway?"
Glancing around, golden eyes settled on the clock, silently logging away the time on the display. "That late already? Wow, didn't realize I was that tired. Guess I overdid it a bit."
Turning back to him, she cocked her head to the side. He looked tired, and in more then just a physical sense. "You alright? You look a bit ragged, Kisuke."
"Mm." He mumbled his reply, "Benihime doesn't go easy on me. Those on again, off again nonstop three day training sessions has taken alot out of me, that's all. You know how critical she can be."
He neglected to add the part of knowing what she's been up to, at least within the last day or two. He did feel stronger physically, and it had been a while since he took to training that seriously. He thought he was stronger emotionally, especially after hearing Benihime's twist on reality, but coming back, noticing things that were different, as he usually tended to pick up on, seeing her again - it almost felt like it was a waste. But of course he wasn't going to say anything, wasn't going to act differently than he had before.
Squeezing her hand, he ran the pad of his thumb over her skin, and with a lazy smirk, "You called her a bitch once, if I remember correctly."
"That's because she is one. You know she hates me, right?"
Pulling her hand from his, she crossed arms over her chest and stepped around, simply shoving him rather unceremoniously over to give herself a piece of couch to plop herself down on. Leaning back, she let her head loll back, hitting the cushion on the back with a soft impact and a heavy sigh, restlessly shifting shoulders a bit. "Guess we both are a bit out of practice, you know? I never figured I'd end up so stiff from so much Shunko..."
She wasn't addressing her real concern, at least not yet. Raking eyes over him again, subtly so as to avoid notice, she resolutely kept the frown from gliding across her features. He wasn't telling her something. There was tired, and then there was tired. Two very different things, and right now it seemed as though Kisuke was rather tightly in the grip of the other sort of tired. The kind that didn't come from beating up your body. It aggravated her, when he got like this. Acting like everything was normal, like things were -- how did the humans put it? -- peachy-keen, especially when she knew that wasn't the case. In a way, it was an affront to her intelligence, for him to act as though he thought she wasn't capable of figuring things out on her own, as if she were blind to the subtle changes in his persona and mannerisms. But right now, it wasn't bothering her enough for it to be an issue. Yet.
"She doesn't hate you..." He paused for a moment, remembering her words, "Ok, maybe a little. She's just overly critical and protective, that's all." It almost seemed like there were no women in his life that didn't like to be headstrong and independant, other than dear Ururu.
"But yes, I think we have been a little out of practice... Just after the first day, all I can really say is 'wow'." He rubbed at his eyes, seeing as she wasn't interested in allowing him to sleep, "We've grown lazy, I suppose."
The atmosphere seemed slightly awkward, something he hadn't felt between them in a long time. He usually played the part of a good actor, but she must've picked up on him, giving the way she was looking at him. "Why are you looking at me like that, Yoru?" He propped his head on his palm, meeting her gaze. Any other time he would say something egotistical about it, but judging by the atmosphere and his tiredness, he decided against it. Better not push it.
"Stop it."
Well, that wasn't quite how she'd seen this playing out in her mind. Not really at all. Although... honestly, she hadn't really done much thinking about it. Most of the thinking was confined to not thinking about it, in fact. But it was beginning to get on her nerves. She hated when he hid things, she always had. And she just plain wasn't feeling up to weedling it out of him.
"You know I hate it when you do that, Kisuke so just tell me what it is."
He had the potential to be brutally honest sometimes, usually when people don't want to hear it, such as this time. "It's nothing, Yoruichi." He waved his unoccupied hand in her direction. "Don't worry about it." He rather not hear it himself, for that would mean he'd have to acknowlege it himself. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, trying to force it was anything but bliss.
Golden eyes narrowed with a growl and she felt fingers tighten around the handle of the mug she was about to pour tea into. Damn him. She was going to be nice and make him some breakfast, but if he was going to be an asshole about it... gritting her teeth, she forced fingers to relax, then poured some of the steaming liquid into the mug, turning back around.
"Tea, Kisuke?"
She was agitated, there was no doubt about that. "It's not hot tea, is it?" He watched her intensely, well knowing this could potentially go awfully wrong. If anything, he'd like to come out of this unharmed. He should say something... "Yoruichi, really, everything is alright."
A deceptively sweet smile should have clued him in that he was treading dangerous waters. Luckily for him, the tea wasn't that hot, lukewarm really. Which was a good thing as it was suddenly pulled back and flung at him.
"Of course it is, Kisuke. In fact, since everything is SO "alright", you can just TAKE your "alright" and shove it and stop insulting my intelligence!"
With a snarl, she contemplated throwing the entire kettle, but instead simply turned on her heel with a snap and stalked back across the room towards the door. She really didn't need to deal with this sort of shit from him right now. If he wanted to be an irritating secretive bastard, she'd just find something else to do besides keep him company. Whether she'd missed him or not.
She may have been called "Goddess of Flash", but he didn't earn his captain rank for nothing. Tired or not, having warm liquid splash him woke him right up, and reflexes worked all at once.
Managing to snap to his feet, and within a step, he grabbed her wrist and spun her to face him. Both his hands tightened around her wrists before pushing her back against the wall. His lazy posture was gone as he stood to his full height, all his jovial nature completely washed away. Blue-grey eyes bored into hers, as he stood there studying her, face full of uncharacteristic seriousness. "Did you think I would not notice it, Yoruichi? It's rather hard to hide it when the room reeks of it!"
He didn't want to be here; he didn't want to do this. "Who was it, Yoruichi? WHO!?" He knew who it was, but had to hear it. If she struggled, he wouldn't move, if she spat on him, he wouldn't flinch.
Lantern-eyes widened, slitted pupils dilating in shock as he spun her and shoved her up against the wall, all his usual easygoing nature washed away, leaving not the man she knew and loved, but the former captain. Ruthless seriousness and tempered emotions, glaring down at her with their demands for answers.
Despite her surprise, shock quickly gave way to something else. Anger. Anger, mixed with resentment and outrage at the hypocrisy of the situation. So what, now he could do whatever he wanted without question, but she had to be put to the third degree? Crushing the spot of guilty regret at her own actions -- she honestly hadn't meant for it to happen, but it had and there was little worth in obsessing over it now -- she fixed him with a deadly glare.
"The hell!? Since when is that any of your business how I spend my time, Kisuke? Or am I under your jurisdiction now, and that gives you the right to grill me whenever the hell you want?! News flash, Kisuke. You don't get to."
Shaking her head slightly, she regarded him with an angry gaze. "And what the hell is wrong with you, anyway? You're acting like this is something different, something unusual. It's the SAME, Kisuke! The same as always. I've never questioned what the hell you do on your own time, so does this mean now I can go fucking psycho on you because I come home and have to watch some long-haired stranger walk out the door? I've never questioned it, any more than YOU have, so why now? Tell me, Kisuke. Why the hell does it fucking matter so much now?"
"I haven't slept with anyone but you for years, Yoruichi! You want to know why? Is it not obvious!? Why does it seem that I have to remind you? It's love, Yoruichi, L-O-V-E. I never thought I'd get this way, grow so soft. Lord knows Benihime wouldn't stop reminding me of this! Would not stop berating me at any cost these past weeks. But... I can't stop. I've tried, and I'm still trying to."
His grip eased for a bit, probably giving her the thought he was about to let go, but before she could pull away, strength returned to him. "THAT'S why I give such a damn. I know things shouldn't change, and... I'm not asking to! I just.." His mind was racing, words and thoughts were flashing through his mind.
Forcefully, he pulled her hand to his tea-dampened chest over his heart in one jerky motion, "Do you feel this? Do you even understand this!? Do you know how much it hurts right now? Do you know how sick I felt and still do?"
He was angry, at her but mostly at himself; it was dangerous being near her, as he allowed himself to be swept away in emotions he wasn't supposed to have. "If this is some kind if game to you, Yoruichi, stop it now. I can't play anymore."
So many questions were begging to be asked, so much emotion was being displayed, and he felt like an idiot.
Fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, shaking slightly with supressed emotion as her voice dropped to a strained whisper. "Do I understand? Do I know how much it hurts?"
Almost unbidden, her fist yanked itself away only to impact his chest again as she shoved him away from herself to stand with shoulders trembling as she narrowed pained yellow gaze on him. "Maybe it hurts something close to as much as it does to have you act as though loving me is such an awful mistake that you have to go and erase it, hide it away like it never existed. But I guess you're right, that's what should be done. It doesn't matter...how hard it was......how much....."
Gritting her teeth, she spun and lashed out, fist going straight through the thin wooden panel of the door, unheeding of the jagged edges as she wrenched it free, ignoring the deep rents the wood gauged into her forearm. "You think it was fucking easy, Kisuke?... Easy to.....to finally face.......and then have it thrown back at you like that......like it didn't fucking matter because it's not the way things are supposed to be, it's against the rules. So you know what, I tried. Tried to ignore it, tried to push it away and pretend it wasn't there, but I can't even do THAT, can I?"
Her hand dropped to her side, small droplets of blood sliding down her hand to drip off of fingertips in fat droplets onto the tatami as she curled bloody fingers into a fist, gritting her teeth and staring down at bare toes. "Every time.....every time it's someone else.....trying to pretend it doesn't matter, that...that I'm not pretending it's you every time... because it never feels RIGHT unless it's you...."
With a sigh, she raked her uninjured hand through dark bangs, finally raising her head to look at him, eyes moist and expression strained and emotionless. "It's fine, Kisuke. You think this is just a game to me.... you obviously don't know me as well as I thought you did. I'll....I'll just go. Good luck, Kisuke. It's.... it's been really special.... I'll miss it."
Turning, she reached for the door. This was it. She'd leave. For good, this time. It was for the best, really. Things had gone too far, they'd gotten too close to the edge. And they'd fallen, fallen hard. Now.... there wasn't really any other option. She could stay, and keep hurting him and hurting herself.... or she could fade away, vanish into the stories and laughter and tears of the past, cut her losses and just.... go on.
His hand slid around her waist, stopping her. Once again he pushed her against the wall, only much more gentle now. "It's never been a game for me." He replied softly, bringing her injured hand to his mouth. "I've risked too much." His tongue ran across the broken knuckles, before hesitantly sticking one digit in his mouth, sucking at the fresh blood.
With a pop, he released her finger, eyes studying her - trying to read her. "I can't stomach you with anyone else anymore." He took in another digit and cleaned it as well, ignoring the irony taste left in his mouth.
When her hand was as clean as he could get it, and seeing that she wasn't going to run off, he embraced her, engulfing her in his arms. Not knowing what was possessing him, the questions burned at him - he had to be reassured in his own way. "I've missed you, Yoru..." It was a whisper in her ear, "Tell me - did he touch you like I do?" A kiss was placed at the edge of her jaw, "Did he make you moan? Beg?" His hands slide down her shoulders, finding her hands and laced them with his as he pressed them flat against the wall on opposite sides of her, "Did he make you come as I do?"
His lips ghosted down her neck as he brought their bodies flush, "Did you think of me?"
Yoruichi was going to say something, try to argue with him, but then his arms were around her, lips brushing against her ear and it was all she could do to keep from moaning as he pressed her back against the wall. God, it was so unfair, the fact that he knew just how to get to her, knew it made her so hot to hear him say the sort of things he was saying now. Biting her lower lip, she tried to remind herself that she was angry with him, hurt over the way things were, ready to walk out. But... instead she was trembling, faint whimpers breaking their way through clenched lips. With a thick swallow, she leaned her head back with a faint moan as his lips slid down her throat.
"N...No one....no one makes.....makes me feel....like you do......Kisuke......"
Did she think of him, when she was tangled up with someone else? The question really didn't seem to her as though it needed answering. She always thought of him, no matter who she was with, what she was doing. With Kisuke... things worked. It was more than just physicality, more than just an act. "Hn......a...always....thinking of you...Kisuke...."
His hips pressed into hers, as he released a shuddering breath, "Tell me you love me, Yoruichi. I want to hear you tell me; need to hear it." He moved to where her neck and shoulder met, and lightly bit her.
"I... Didn't mean to upset you." He wanted her, desire was almost tearing him apart, replacing his anger. "But... I can't share you. Not anymore." It was against his better judgement to be like this currently, but the questions burned, and all he wanted to do was touch her and... her hands on him. He wanted her to be open, to hear the words escape from her mouth.
Continue to part 2