tampered | Log:Ongoing

Current Mood: anxious

Log:Ongoing

When; Thursday evening
Rating; R (Spider's language)
Characters; Spider Jerusalem and Yelena Rossini
Summary; After learning their accidental 'fling' wasn't completely sickening to Yelena, Spider decided to man up and actually ask her out. He got the first 'yes' to a dinner date he's had since Vita and now just has to remember how to actually behave himself. Reservations are made at Pandora's and he's fully dressed and sober...step one is down.
Log;

After scores of failed dating relationships, a train wreck of a marriage, and a dry spell that could win not only pity but rewards, Spider is actually trying again. It's not like he ever gave up completely. Not really. Some nice whores even used to throw him a pity fuck now and then for giving them their only good and honest press coverage back before he first ran off to the mountain. Every now and then he'll give a casual shot to asking a girl out but he always hears the 'no' even before they say it. The excuses are always fun. Some of them are real original. He expected a damned impressive one from Yelena... Instead he got a 'yes'.

Now he's standing in front of the mirror in his bathroom wondering what the hell he can do to cover up being old enough to be her dad (if he'd fathered her in his teens, sure, but still!) and never having looked so great to begin with. Oh well. She said 'yes'. It's her funeral. He straightens his tie for the tenth time, covers the bags under his eyes with his shades, smooths his tuxedo jacket and sighs. The cat looks up and one mouth mews plaintively.

"..You're right. Fuck it."

The tie gets tossed to the bathroom floor where the cat promptly pisses on it. Cologne and deodorant cover the bitter sweat of a man still crashing from meth and a cigarette takes care of most of the shakes. Some of that might just be nerves and not drugs or brain damage at all. He walks out of the bathroom, still looking better than he has in a long time. Clean, well dressed in black coat and slacks and a dark green button down shirt. The loud print of the tie really ruined the look, but without it he looks passably human.
Now he just paces and smokes hoping Yelena is still dressing in her room and didn't just sneak out on him while he was praying for his hair back or maybe a merciful death. This was such a stupid idea.

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Stupid. A single word echoed through her mind as Yelena slid her only nice pair of shoes on. It was soon joined by a few others. My big, fat, stupid mouth. She sighed, looking in a mirror by her closet and straightening a few wrinkles out in her simple black dress. Stupid city, stupid curses--stupid me.

She frowned. She wasn't sure why. There had been plenty of dinners and weird parties, Spider always at her side, but there was just something about the way he said 'dinner'. What were his words, again? Oh yeah, 'go out'.

It was too late to back out, now. She wasn't even sure if she had really wanted to back out. It was just her nerves, she hoped.

Nothing is going to happen, Yelena, you're just going to eat dinner, get drunk, and pass out somewhere between the bar and your bed. Just like any other dinner, in any other city.

Self-affirmation was never her thing, but for some reason it was helping the situation. With that, she took one more glance in the mirror before exiting her room to meet Spider.

And there he was.

Yelena hasn't left and hasn't committed ritual suicide to escape the date. It's amazing.
Is his mouth hanging open? Spider's worried his mouth might be hanging open. It isn't, but he can't seem to stop grinning. The same sort of grin an adolescent boy has on his first date. Christ, it's been so long. He was never very good at this.

He coughs and clears his throat, trying not to stare. Yelena almost never dresses so nicely. She always hides herself under layers and layers of dark, oversized clothing. Spider doesn't know why. She's cute and curvy and doesn't make him feel short the way Channon does (Which is different than the way his ex-wife always made him feel small...).

"You look great. So...uh...ready to go?"

You are old, unpleasant and a terrible bastard, Jerusalem. What the hell do you think you're doing?
He really wishes his brain would stop kicking him in the balls and give him something intelligent to say instead.

Ok, this was weird. Why was he grinning like that?

She tried to ignore it as she entered the room by not looking up at him. She might have been blushing, her face felt hot.

"Thanks, yeah, let's get out of here." She finally spit out in one quick sentence. This would be great, an uncomfortable dinner where the two of them are very short with each other. Actually, now that she thought about it. It might be. Spider actually behaving for once? She'd buy tickets to see that happen, and tonight she'd get to see it. Maybe.

For what it was worth, Spider planned to behave himself for the night. No telling whether it would happen or not, but it could happen... Right?
He grabbed an extra pack of cigarettes and tucked his bowel disruptor into the inside of his coat. He didn't plan to reap watery, cramping vengeance on anyone specific, but it's always good to be prepared.

He opened the door for Yelena and held it from outside, wondering if maybe she was too much of an independent woman for things like door holding. Oh well. His dad's advice on women could easily fit on a post-it-note and it included door holding. It also included 'for the love of God, don't whip it out unless she asks! If yer gonna do it anyway, know where yer exits are'.

Spider would have looked into getting a taxi or something, but he's always preferred walking. Walking puts you out among the people and gives you a chance to see the world on your way from one diversion to the next. Outside of the building, he offered his arm to Yelena. If she didn't take it, he planned to just...fake a cramp or something. He certainly wasn't old fashioned, corny, and completely out of tune with modern women if that's what she was thinking.

"We can get a ride if you want, but it's a nice night and shorter on rampant madness than usual."

This was already getting weird. First, Spider tells her she looks nice, next, he's opening doors for her. Was he possessed?

She exited the apartment and took a deep breath of fresh, polluted, city air. Anything to clear her mind, in case she was imagining things. Nothing could have prepared her, however, for Spider offering an arm.

She stared at it for a moment, then hesitantly took it, wondering what kind of creature had taken over vulgar, outrageous Spider Jerusalem. And also, what sorts of comments would be made to her if she survived this night.

"It's fine," she answered, looking around at the calm city streets. "I need the exercise anyway."

"You know, nothing else needs exercise. That's one of the big problems with people: Not enough things hunting us. If there was giant shit with six inch teeth chasing us around outside, or even if we just had to catch our own food to eat it, then none of us would go to the damn gym. We have side stepped natural selection. We have taken ourselves out of the system!"

Maybe he was putting on a great show of being polite and displaying a side almost no one ever got to see, but Spider was still Spider. He was still crazy. He was just a little more human than usual.

"...Not that you need exercise, in my opinion."

It was an awkward and fumbling recovery, but he vaguely remembers that his ex always thought he was calling her fat. Yelena seemed to have some kind of body image problem, so he didn't want to insinuate anything. He was also trying to avoid mentioning her having a 'body image problem' out-loud at any point.

"I just need the oxygen. I've been avoiding it lately."

Not that he wasn't still filtering all of his oxygen through tobacco.

Whenever Spider went off on his rants, Yelena just learned to nod and smile. She didn't always agree with the things he had to say, but unless she was looking for a fight, it was better just to keep quiet about it.

She didn't really mind the way he was acting, it was just so unusual, weird. The more she tried to push it from her mind, the more she thought about how awkward this entire day was.

She shook her head, "Fuck it, give me a cigarette," she said, actually looking him eye-to-eye for the first time that day.

Spider's eyes remained hidden, as always, behind mis-matched glass lenses. Better to be sure his emotions did not betray him. It wasn't just here. At all times, Spider watched the world very closely, but through glass. His glasses also served to capture images at regular intervals: to keep a solid record of all he saw even when his mind would not.

He laughed and handed her a cigarette from his pack, lighting it for her. Yelena wasn't as quick to take up smoking by his order as Chanon was. She never smoked quite as much, either. The fact her nerves demanded it now was funny to him.

When they finally reached Pandora, Spider opened the door for Yelena again.
"If this annoys the piss out of you, let me know."

Yelena wasn't half bad at hiding her emotions, herself. Only, she didn't usually have shades to hide behind. Showing emotions made you vulnerable, and that was the last thing she wanted.

Taking the cigarette, she took a nice long drag. Long enough to put her racing thoughts at ease.

She put it out before entering the restaurant, and smiled as the smell of food filled her nostrils. "I told you," she said, "I'm hungry as hell."

They were shown to a table and seated by their waiter. A wine steward brought round the house list and Spider was prepared to order an expensive bottle to split when he remembered who it was he was with. Sure, Yelena came from a lot of money and was probably well versed in wine, but that wasn't what Spider liked bout her.
He smiled across the table at her and let her make the call.

"What'll it be? Wine or whiskey?"

One of the great things about Yelena was that girl liked her liquor. Of course, between her, Channon, and the man himself, that's where a lot of Spider's money went.

She took her seat, straightening out her dress a bit, and looking at the various people around them. She only felt a bit out of place.

She smiled at Spider's question. "Now you know the answer to that," she said, "Whiskey."

She hoped he didn't mind, since he seemed to be going for the whole proper dinner thing.

For Spider, it was all just an effort to see what he could remember about the dating process. He knew a lot of it was probably outdated and that Yelena was too clever of a girl to even fall for all of it or not find it corny. He'd always preferred whiskey in almost any instance.

"Good. Thought I might have to suffer through wine and getting drunk slow."

He laughed and ordered a bottle of old Irish. The wine steward looked down his nose at both of them, but he brought what was requested alone with two glasses and ice.

When the waiter took their orders, Spider was already most of the way through his second glass. He ordered a large, rare porterhouse steak, potatoes and oysters on the half shell as an appetizer. He didn't order for Yelena, because he never understood that ritual. What she wanted was her own business. He'd just pay for it.

"We haven't been thrown out yet. I might set a personal record. ... So, you've been on dates more recently than I have: What mindless small talk should fill up the time before we can busy ourselves with food?"

Yelena liked her liquor, but she wasn't as quick a drinker as Spider. She was just finishing her first as Spider placed his order. When it came time for her order, she ordered herself a steak, a little more cooked than Spider's.

Then, Spider used the word date, and she nearly choked on her drink. It wasn't like she didn't know it was a date, it was just weird to actually hear him say it. She tried to compose herself as she set her glass back down on the table.

"Uh...there's always the weather, a review of your day, the last movie you saw..." she trailed off mid sentence and shook her head, "But that's bullshit."

Using the word 'date' out loud was sort of a test. In his experience, Spider had found that until the word was actually used and agreed to, a woman was not contractually bound to refer to any outing as a date, no matter how intimate. He could buy a girl dinner, take her to a show, give her a gift and find out the night was not, in fact, a date at all and no, there would not be a second one and he should never call her again or even look at her, if he could help it.

Now the date was a confirmed one, though. He said it and she didn't refute it. That took some weight off of things.

"You're right. It is bullshit. Besides that, we've lived together long enough for it to be pointless and fucking boring... So harder questions then: Why are you here? Why did you agree to come?"

Great, in addition to being taken out to a very uncomfortable dinner with her boss, and him confirming that it was, in fact, a date, now she was being put in the spotlight.

She shifted in her seat, looking down at a half-a-glass of whiskey. She grabbed it and just about gulped the rest of it down at once, placing it back on the table afterward.

"I uh..." She didn't really have an answer for him, and that was the worst part.

She tried again, "I guess I just wanted to?" Yelena didn't mean to make it sound like a question, either, it just came out that way. So this was great, now she looked like a complete moron.

"Ha. Guess I should accept that."

Some tiny voice in Spider's brain did know there were things a person shouldn't say or ask. He just never listened to that part of the brain.

"You're a damn good journalist, Yelena. Certainly not what I fuckin expected when Royce told me he was stickin his neice with me."

She could feel her face getting hot, and hoped it wasn't turning red. She focused on the whiskey glass in front of her. Then, Spider changed the subject, and a wave of relief washed over her.

"Yeah?" she said, lifting her head again, "Is it weird that I'm really glad you think so?"

"No. You might hate me, or even be disgusted by me but if you didn't respect me you'd have gotten the hell out of Dodge ages ago."

Spider knew there wasn't a journalist working in their world who wouldn't give their right nut (or ovary, as the case may be) to have his approval. It wasn't vanity: he also understood most of them wanted him dead. He was successful, though, and his praise didn't come often. Not to anyone. He put both of his assistants through hell, but he would also have trusted them with his life in an instant.

She smiled slightly. There were definitely times she's hated him, despised him, and been completely repulsed by him, but she did care about him, believe it or not.

"Can't deny that."

Maybe she was stubborn for staying with him all this time, but there was something about her ridiculous job that she actually enjoyed. It made her wonder.

"So what does that say about me?"

"Honestly? That you care about the Truth. That you care about the horrible, clueless, unwashed masses of society enough to want them to have the Truth, even though you've looked long and hard enough to see them for what they are. It means that you know that I'm right and doing the right thing and you'd even support a madman to see that justice gets done."

He smiled and lowered his head to light his cigarette. Spider looked at Yelena over the lenses for a moment, warm brown eyes showing briefly the pride he had in her.

"...Or maybe you just want a good quote from a recognizable name on the back of your first book."

She could feel herself grinning as she listened to him. He was right, as he usually was.

"The first one," she said, "In case you haven't noticed, no one knows your name in this city the way they did in ours. If we're really stuck here, I doubt working for you would look any better on a resume than anyone else."

Sure, Spider had respect in this city, but so did every other journalist who got their name out there enough, and there was plenty of them stuck just like him. But in all honestly, Yelena didn't give a shit about anything half of them had to say. And she didn't care how that made her look, either.

Yelena didn't smile often enough. At least, that was Spider's opinion. Sure, they both agreed the world was marvelously more fucked up than most people bothered to notice, but Spider also believed it was a lot more amazing than most people noticed as well. That was one of his problems with people: They took the wonders of the world and their fellow man for granted.

"Hey, I'm working with the theory that this whole City is in my head. Either drugs or the continued degeneration of my brain has put me in a coma and I'm having one loooong fucking fever dream. There aren't as many faceless assassins , giant tits, or amputations as my usual dreams, but the subconscious is a quirky animal. ... If I didn't feel safe in this being a hallucination, I wouldn't have asked you out."

So none of this was real, in his opinion. She wasn't surprised. That would probably be a logical explanation, but it wouldn't help justify why she was there. She wasn't constantly doped up.

"That's a shame." she said finishing off her drink. "Because if it is real, you'll have taken if for granted thinking it was all a bizarre dream."

...

He thought about it for a moment, then quirked an odd grin.

"You are wise beyond your years, Miss Rossini."

Spider filled both of their glasses again from the bottle he'd forced the waiter to leave. Then he held his own up in a toast.

"Let's enjoy what we can while we're here. And if this is some dream of mine, maybe you're my spiritual guide? I'd say Duke is, but I think he's my id."

She took her glass and clinked it against his to toast.

"That seems like it'd be a little too much responsibility for me," she said holding back a laugh, "But whatever."

She took a nice big sip of the whiskey. Forget waiting until dinner was over, she'd be drunk by the time the food got there.

"Don't back talk me! I'm being kind. Do you know how rarely this comes around?"

Whiskey is good. Drinking led to Spider being Spider, but he felt more comfortable at least.

"This city is sort of like home, but without the editors, celebrity, recognition or money. ... Sometimes, I really like it here."

"I wasn't talking back, asshole," she laughed as she responded. At least they were both feeling a little more comfortable. She probably couldn't be any more thankful for that.

"You're right, it's got it's similarities." she said, thinking about it. And it did, but it was just about equal in the differences department.

"You really like it?" she asked, curious.

"Sure sure."

Their meals arrived and Spider started picking at his, but he was more interested in talking to Yelena. It was bordering on a healthy and normal conversation. It had been a while. He wasn't sure he could still do rational conversation for long.

"Some of it. As much as I can like any place that's fully inhabited. No one can leave. There are no clear class lines. Everyone has to interact. They still do it through electronic channels to avoid contact sometimes, but they can't get away from it completely. They're trapped with eachother. The curses are fucking weird as shit and some are pretty awful, but they force the people here together as much or more than they pull them apart."

Yelena listened between the clanking of her knife on the plate as she cut up her steak.

"It's just a little unsettling I think, knowing you're trapped here. The whole end of the world thing sets my teeth on edge a bit. But I guess everything has it's ups and downs."

There were a lot of things Yelena hated about the city, she tried thinking of some things that she didn't mind so much. She actually liked it that no one knew who he was, here. It meant she didn't have to worry about him as much. Of course, she wasn't sure that she could tell him that.

"Trapped is relative. You're only trapped when you're trying to leave. Any other time, you're here because you want to be. But you're right. It's a shit hand. It's beyond fucked up. What I want to know? Is how long will it take for the people here to work together to get free. Or will we just tear each other to pieces and save the city the trouble? ... And maybe that's why we're here. Rats in a maze for some higher power with the same questions."

Spider couldn't deny that the City both offended and fascinated him. It was horrific and unfair, but it was an interesting social experiment. Each day it seemed to prove both the best and worst in man.
He ate some of his steak, trying not to wonder where all the cows were for feeding the city, and went on.

"The end of the world is just a theory. No one's proven that's what's coming. What if that's just a red herring? Just something to keep us panicked and to keep us from the bigger picture? I'm not saying I know any better than anyone else here. Shit, we're all guessing. I'm just not going to accept another person's guess just because it's convenient."

"But that's just it. When you want to leave, you can't. And that, Spider, means you're trapped. No one here is going to work together, and when I think about it, I'm really not sure I would want them to. Some of them are bigger morons than the president."

She pushed a piece of parsley off her steak and cut another bite. Not only were there some real idiots in the city, but there were even more assholes that would rather die than work with a team. She guessed that those were simply morons as well.

"I don't know, it makes a hell of a lot of sense. The city's the Ark and we're the ones chosen to live through the flood. It just makes too much goddamn sense..."

"Your first point blows your second to shit, Yelena! If this is an Ark scenario, then why all the idiots? Why the half-wits, goat fuckers, serial killers, mouth breathers, and scum? Why is this City not full of scientists and children? Why are there so many people and not as many animals? You're willing to believe in a grand plan by a higher power, but also accept that said higher power wants to repopulate the world with mass-murdering fucktarded mutant homosexuals with lycanthropy?"

This is why Spider tries not to believe in God a lot of the time. To believe in God requires he believe that an apparent incompetent is in charge of his fate. He'd rather it all be chance sometimes.

"Maybe they're here so we can eat them?" She realized how stupid it sounded, but something in the back of her mind thought it was funny.

"I'm not saying I believe in it, exactly, but it's possible. Maybe this higher power thinks it's funny to repopulate the world with shit-wits. Why else would they create these curses? They have to get some kick out of them."

She was already talking herself into trouble. Making herself look like an idiot, so she shoved a big piece of steak in her mouth to occupy it so it wouldn't talk anymore.

"Ha. I say we start eating some of them now."
He laughed, but he really had been missing the long pork stands back home. It would also eliminate some idiots.

"Maybe. Hell, if I was all powerful, I'd pull some of the crap they do. Probably worse. Make it so people loose their bowels during orgasm just to see if they'd keep having sex. Get rid of all the food and make house pets smell delicious. ... I'd make a pretty good god."

"I'm not sure this place serves moron." she mumbled with her mouth still half full of food.

"Of course you would, Spider." If Spider, by some freak accident, was made deity of a city, they would all be fucked.

She refilled her glass of whiskey, and sat back in her chair a bit as she took a drink. "But I don't see that happening any time soon.

"Hey, you never know in this place. Maybe I'll campaign for the position of god. It seems like they'll let just any cock sneeze do it around here."

He smiled and took another drink. Spider was enjoying himself, oddly, and hoped she was too.

"I think some places in the underground serve moron. Which reminds me, we should go down there after dinner. We could get hammered and see the circus. Usually best in that order."

"It'll be a landslide victory." she assured him.

She actually was enjoying herself, which is what made it so strange for her. It was probably the best dinner she's had since she arrived in the city, which wasn't saying much, but still.

"Dinner and a show? Spider, you're outdoing yourself." she laughed, but she really did like the idea. "Sounds good," she said.

"Y'know, there weren't many live shows anywhere when I was a kid. No one had the time to do it or the money to see it. Still, people need entertainment to keep up morale, so sometimes it would happen..."

Spider had eaten all he was going to and leaned back in his seat, lighting a cigarette. Ash was flicked onto the plate now and then.

"One day this circus troupe came through and set up near the docks. They'd built all of their equipment and the animals were thin, but it was cheap and my dad took me and mom to see it. ... The trapeze snapped in the middle of the show and sent the acrobat into a heap on the ground. I haven't seen a better circus since."

"I think the circus is the only live show around here, Spider." she said reaching for her glass.

"I think we should demand our money back if this one isn't as good. But, knowing this city, I'm sure it'll be unlike anything we've ever seen before." she said laughing, half of what walked around here wasn't human anyway, now that she thought about it, the circus couldn't be that much more entertaining that sitting on a park bench and people-watching.

"I mostly demand midgets."

He poured the last of the whiskey into their two glasses and held his up, nodding his head to Yelena.

"A whole meal in a restaurant without being asked to leave even once. Let's celebrate by getting thrown out of a bar."

Spider laughed, smiling at the bright and pretty girl across from him and tried to remind himself not to get so roaringly drunk that he forgets this too. It had all been really nice so far. Surely more liquor and a freak show would only make it better.

"What an accomplishment." she lifted her glass to toast and gave him a smile.

"I think I can make it happen. Are you ready to get out of here?" she gulped down the rest of her whiskey quickly so that she was ready to go.

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Log:Ongoing

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