tampered | log; finished

Current Mood: cold
Current Music: I've Been Eating (For You) - Bright Eyes

log; finished

When; Now-ish [03/04/08 | evening]
Rating; PG at worst, most likely.
Characters; Hiei [

3redeyes] & Kurama [

banditfox]
Summary; Hiei and Kurama have The Talk. No, not that talk.
Log;

Hiei couldn’t run. He’d made a deal, and the deal had made him weaker, and now he didn’t have the energy to run. He couldn’t escape Kurama. In all truth, he didn’t want Kurama running out, looking for him, anyway.

The only way to fix the problem was—

In all truth, he’d rather be inside, anyway. The cold outside mixed badly with the cold that was creeping into his bones, now.

The only way to fix the problem was to face it. And facing the problem, this time, had nothing to do with killing or violence.

There was nothing worse than that; it wasn’t something he was prepared for. It wasn’t something he knew how to do. It wasn’t something he ever wanted to know how to do, but... At the very least, Hiei assumed, out of this, he’d at least make it alive... no, at best or worse, he’d leave the same way he was, now. Dead.

Hiei opened the window and slid into Kurama’s apartment, and started to fix the problem. This had better be worth it.

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His customary window had been left open. A single plant of indeterminate origin stood quietly beside the sill. Kurama waited across the room, seated in a chair with legs crossed and hands clasped around one knee. As Hiei had grown colder, the fox had felt life seeping back into him. He was now as strong as he had been when he'd left the city. A faded scar on his back was the only sign that he had suffered injury at Karasu's hands upon his return to the city.

Kurama's expression was carefully neutral. What Hiei had done confirmed the older youkai's suspicions. Anger struggled for precedence over gratitude. Though Kurama didn't know what Hiei had sacrificed, the foremost theory--based on the sudden lessening of Hiei's youki--left Kurama deeply disconcerted.

Hiei-- ever the skilled socialite-- slipped from the window, and sat with his back to the wall, on the floor. He fought the urge to wrap his arms around his knees; it was a sign of weakness, but it was also so cold.

He sighed. Meeting Kurama's gaze with one a bit more angry than neutral, he preceeded to hold eye contact. This was a challenge. Maybe a fight with words was something he could win, even if he didn't know what, exactly, winning entailed.

"What?"

Words were not something he was going to receive just yet. Kurama rose and crossed the room, taking Hiei's wrist between his fingers before the smaller youkai could object. "So I was right." He frowned, green eyes narrowed as they locked with Hiei's.

"You shouldn't have."

Hiei started to slowly shuffle away from Kurama. He was tired, and didn't feel like flitting away, as he usually would have to avoid physical contact.

He turned and shrugged, "It's done."

"So it is." Kurama rose and fetched a blanket from a nearby chair. He shook out the neat folds and draped it over Hiei's knees, then sat against the wall beside him. "I won't be so churlish as to fail to thank you, but I won't lie to you either. It was a foolish solution."

Hiei forced the blanket off of his knees, into a pile at his feet. Accepting help was another sign of weakness, and this battle wasn't over, yet.

Hiei was more confused by the thanks than the honesty; wasn't Kurama supposed to be angry? He was angry, right now, wasn't he?

The fire demon sighed dismissively, "It's still over. There's no use going on about it, if it's done and can't be undone. If all you wanted me to be here for was you chastising me, I'll leave." And he started to.

Kurama could have used the plant behind them to block the window. He didn't. Slender fingers wrapped around Hiei's wrist and applied gentle pressure. "I'm furious. I'd also like you to stay."

Hiei clenched his teeth. He didn't like being touched, the current inability to evade was painful, though not a physical one.

He slid back down to the ground, looking up at Kurama, waiting. Staying more because he'd said he was furious than because he'd been asked to stay. He didn't want the fox to be angry, for some reason... Not at him. Not at all.

...Not like he cared or anything, though.

As much as Hiei might be able to fool himself, he hadn't fooled Kurama. They had been partners for too long and shared too much of each other. Kurama released the other's wrist and looked away, more to make the situation easier for Hiei than anything else.

"You should have considered the people who would be affected by your inability to return home. If you were so determined, you should have found something else to give."

Kurama sighed. "Of course, you wouldn't have, because you let your feelings choose for you."

Hiei didn't take the bait.

"We've talked about this; you'll protect Yukina, if I can't return."

He shrugged, "It was the prudent thing to do. Out of the two of us, you'd be missed, out of here." He tried to look impassive, like he didn't care. It wasn't hard, this was how he looked for the greater amount of his time, anyway.

"You aren't an idiot, Hiei. Don't act as though you are." Kurama's anger was palpable, though his expression remained unreadable. "Yukina will have cause to miss you, as will I."

He wasn't going to allow Hiei to direct this conversation, not after making such an important decision without him.

Hiei had shrugged too many times (yes, he was keeping track) and sighing had lost its merit, now that he didn't need to breathe. He just stared, steadily, into the Kurama's eyes, ambivalence as palpable as Kurama's anger. He didn't care. Really. He didn't.

"That's if she remembers who her brother is." He blinked, once, slowly. He hated being this tired, this weak, "And you'll live." Kurama was stronger than that. He'd find another partner, he'd done it before.

"Because you care." Kurama shook his head and drew his knee up to his chest so he could rest his forearms against it. "What am I going to do with you, Hiei?"

Hiei huffed. What was that supposed to mean?

"How am I supposed to know? You figure it out, it's your issue."

He started crawling back towards the window.

"I'm not finished."

This time, the plant gave a warning wave of its leaves, clearly indicating that Kurama had extended his youki to take control of it.

Hiei sat back down.

"Then finish."

Invited--or so he chose to think--Kurama did. He shifted to kneel in front of Hiei and leaned in, his hand cupping Hiei's cheek. "You gave me the answer I asked for weeks ago. Thank you." Then he sat back on his heels and drew his hand away, freeing Hiei of physical contact, but giving him no option to flee.

What did that mean, right there? Why did he do that? What was he supposed to do, now?

Hiei inhaled sharply, and sat back down, waiting in silence. Kurama wasn't giving him any clues.

Kurama smiled, but there was a sadness in his expression that he didn't care to mask. He offered Hiei the blanket again. "Take it. I know you're cold."

Hiei took the blanket, but kept his eyes on Kurama, not bothering the wrap the thing around him. He was missing something, again, wasn't he? That happened often enough that Hiei wasn't embarrassed by it, but occasionally it came back to bite him... like now.

"Do you honestly need me to explain it to you?" his partner asked. "As isolated as your life has been, I would think you'd understand at least this much."

It wasn't that he needed explanation, just that, honestly, he didn't... know what to do. What was expected of him, now?

But if he was unable to do reciprocate... whatever Kurama wanted, he was even worse off in the area of asking questions.

So he'd go back to being defensive. He was good at that. It was nice to do something you were good at... comfortable.

"What do you want?" His emphasis, and the sneer in his voice, twisted the words into an insult; that whatever was expected was foolish to expect.

Unphased, Kurama responded to the question with a request of his own. "What I would like from you is more than a working partnership, and something more than friendship. That you've gone so far to allow me to return home has left me hopeful that you might feel the same." Kurama allowed his form to change, so that he sat with Hiei as a youkai, not a human with all the frailties typically attributed to them. "If I'm wrong, you should tell me now, with the full knowledge that I will not resume pursuit of you. You should also be quite certain that you are not lying, because in this instance, I won't allow it."

If Hiei were the type to admit or even show weakness, ever, he'd admit the words floating around in his head, 'I don't know'.

But he wasn't.

And he couldn't.

And Kurama said, no lying, but he could still do that.

"I don't."

"Really?" Kurama arched an eyebrow. "I find that hard to believe."

Hiei glared back at Kurama, a challenge; he was holding his ground.

That was perfectly fine. Kurama enjoyed challenges, which was one of the reasons he coveted Hiei. He also trusted him, which was perhaps something even rarer in Makai than the tear gem Hiei had been bequeathed. That was why he took a chance now, and bestowed Hiei with a brief but unambiguous display of affection: a kiss.

Hiei was, for lack of a better word, shocked. The only one closer to the state he was in would probably be 'catatonic'.

He didn't lean into it, or back away, or really reciprocate at all.

He just kept perfectly still, and remembered to breathe when Kurama pulled away. His eyes, open wide, wider and bigger than they usually were, asked a question that his jaws just weren't capable of:

Did you mean that?

"You may have noticed that I'm a selfish bastard. I like having what I want, and what I want right now happens to be sitting in front of me." The words were said without mockery, save perhaps a touch that Kurama directed at himself. "You also know that I have no interest in pursuing that which is without worth."

Hiei couldn't hold that gaze any longer. His eyes dropped to the ground.

He didn't whisper-- that, also, was a sign or weakness-- so he mouthed the word he couldn't say:

"Alright."

Kurama nodded and shifted to once again sit beside Hiei, no longer boxing him in. What he had won was fragile, and he didn't wish to push Hiei too far. "You should stay here tonight. It's safer. Kuwabara and I can keep an eye on things." He knew that he couldn't spare Hiei the effects of the deal that had been made, but he had no intention of allowing the other demon to suffer them alone, nor to allow the other's pride to override good sense. In time, perhaps another deal could be made, one that would restore Hiei without creating a pointless cycle of a life for a life.

Hiei put his back to the wall, and finally wrapped that blanket around his shoulders.

"Don't tell the idiot."

"Which part?" Kurama asked, sincerely wanting to know. In light of Kuwabara's particular talents, there was only so much that could be kept from him. "What you've done for me? What you've just agreed to? He isn't such a fool that he won't notice something has changed."

Still, he was relieved that Hiei would accept at least a few small comforts. It was easier on everyone that way.

Hiei gave a blank glare, though it was lacking its usual malice.

"If your opinion of him is so high, let him figure it out on his own."

Kurama laughed softly at the familiar criticism. "All right, then. Do you want anything to eat, or would you rather just get some rest?"

"Sleep." He started to stand.

The fox stood with him, one hand at his arm offering unobtrusive support that could easily be shrugged off. "Not in a window tonight. On a proper bed. Kuwabara won't see."

And it was shrugged off. He was stubborn, "A futon, like always."

"If you insist." Kurama would still keep watch. He was stubborn as well.

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log; finished

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