tampered | Log; Ongoing

Log; Ongoing

When; August 09, afternoon
Rating; PG-13
Characters; Tenjou Utena (

thegirlprince ) and Kaioh Michiru (

actingelegantly )
Summary; Utena and Michiru have a little chat about the fall-out from Boddice Ripper Day and come to a monumental agreement.
Log;

The girl prince paced idly back and forth in front of a stone bench in the gardens. Originally she'd ended up in the area reserved for roses and nearly had a panic attack. There was no way she could have this conversation amidst the beautiful red blooms. Himemiya's melancholy expression continually flashed through her mind, and she'd bolted as far from the roses as possible.

Utena had ended up in a quiet, secluded area that seemed to hold an appropriate atmosphere for this talk. The large tree towering over her provided adequate shade from the noontime sun. One hand moved to rub at the back of her neck as she paced, thinking about all the things that could be said during this. Yes, she had been cursed. Yes, that curse had left the two of them with scant few options as to how to proceed. Still, there was a ~~rather large~~ small part of her that had enjoyed it and still did to this moment.

She groaned and sank down onto the bench, waiting for Michiru's arrival.

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It had been a little difficult, convincing her family that she was fine to walk around without anyone there beside her. After her attack on the barrier she had spent a good amount of time feeling disoriented and bedridden with a busted leg, tended to by a worried Hotaru, and a rather irritated Haruka.

But this was important, and the longer she waited to sort this out, the more it would fester and develop into a much more serious eituation than it already was. So here she was, hoping along on a crutch, her clothing decidedly simpler and more casual than the first time she and Utena had met.

She slowed as she approached the sitting figure, taking a breath to steady herself for what she already knew would not be altogether easy. Then she smiled and made her greeting

"Everything always seems to be in bloom around here." She spoke cheerfully enough as she neared the bench "Another mystery of the city, I suppose."

At the sound of Michiru's voice, Utena bolted up into a standing position. She moved to wave and return the greeting when she realized it would only sound ridiculous if she tried to behave in an overtly cheerful manner. Anything she would have said also died on her lips as she took in the injured state of the beautiful girl. Blue eyes widened just so.

She thought about moving to help her walk but realized it wouldn't perhaps be as appreciated as she thought. If anything, Michiru seemed the type that prided herself on self-sufficiency. Instead, she stepped to the side and motioned down the bench.

"Maybe the deities realized we needed something constantly beautiful around to distract us from the turmoil they seem so set to inflict upon us," she answered evenly.

Oh my. Bitterness? From Utena?

Silence.

"I'm so sorry, Michiru.."

"Don't be."

Michiru took the offered seat gladly and set her crutch off to the side with much more care and attention to the detail of the action than it warrented. Once the object was settled, the green-haired woman carefully folded her hands on her lap and looked out at the garden. Not into the blue eyes that she knew might capture her again.

"It was my own fault for attacking the barrier so recklessly. My partner was right, it was a risky move, not listening to the sea...." She paused, tucking a lock of hair behind her ears as she gathered her thoughts.

"As to why we're here...." Now she looked up to Utena, a half smile on her lips even as regret shone in her eyes. "We both played our parts in that. Even if we were cursed..."

"The curse isn't an excuse," Utena answered back swiftly and assuredly. "I have yet to experience a curse that didn't in some way play on feelings already present.. even if I wasn't aware those emotions existed."

She didn't sit. Instead she ambled a few paces away and kept her back to Michiru for a few quiet moments.

Utena wasn't sure what else to say. Yes, it was a curse. Yes, it was a mistake. Yes, I feel awful about Himemiya. Yes, I liked it. No.. she definitely didn't want to say that.. even if it was true.

"I'm still very sorry. I should have been able to keep my head." ~~And my heart to some degree.~~

Feelings already present? Well... Michiru couldn't honestly argue against that. Everything she'd seen so far seemed to match that as well. And she couldn't deny... Utena was charming in so many of the same ways Haruka was...

The silence between them left thoughts running in Michiru's head. Things she wasn't sure she was comfortable with bringing up yet in the conversation. So she stared at the turned away Utena, sighing just a touch when the pnk haired prince apologized once more.

"You... weren't the one that started the whole mess, as I recall." She fell silent, staring down at her cast, feeling over the bandages that Haruka had tended to just that morning.

"If anything... I should apologize for being so thoughtless." Towards the boh of you...

"There's nothing to be sorry for as far as I'm concerned. You're the one with someone else waiting for you.."

Utena swallowed. She was slightly envious of both Michiru and her partner. She and Himemiya would likely never get to that point, no matter how badly she wished it. At this point in time, the dark-skinned girl didn't even want to see her. It wasn't like their tenuous relationship could be anymore damaged.

"I..." Utena stopped, wisely realizing if she let herself speak unscripted she might say something one or both of them would regret at the moment.

"That's precisely why I should be sorry, Utena. I should never have.... I didn't mean to..." ~~To hurt her. To do this to you~~ She wanted to get up and walk around, much like Utena was doing. Or at least stand. But she still tired a bit easier than she would like to, and she wanted to save her energy for the walk home.

"That night... you mentioned having someone as well. I shouldn't have pressed you further. Surely I could have fought the curse long enough to stop what happened." It was her turn to fall silent for a while, listening to the soft sound of the breeze playing through the leaves of the tree they were under.

The breeze...

"I haven't told yet."

"I wanted it," she finally answered, turning back to look down at the seated girl. "Curse or no curse.. I wanted it."

Hands buried themselves in her pants' pockets. She didn't move closer or further away from the bench. There was a feeling in chest that grew a little more overwhelming with each second that passed. She would ignore it for the time being.

"And.. my situation is.. complicated. I haven't told her. I don't know if I will. There wouldn't be much of a point. She wouldn't care," Utena explained. "She'd just smile that smile and tell me how lovely it was I'd met someone."

The look Michiru turned on Utena at the confession wasn't a surprised one. It was complicated though, and difficult to read because of it's complexity. Shades of understanding, longing, irritation, sadness... like some subtle art peice you had to stare at to catch all the details.

She fiddled with her hands, smoothed out her clothing, and tried to look as unaffected by the news as possible. Better that than admitting how she had felt about the whole thing. She listened to Utena, frowning just a touch.

"Oh? That's... very open-minded of her." carefully toned words hid what Michiru wanted to say. That such a woman obviously didn't know what she had, that anyone who just let someone this special go was certainly strange in the least...

"My situation is comlicated as well." She picked her words carefully, trying not to reveal too much. "I don't just have a partner waiting for me. I have a family."

Despite the gravity of the situation, Utena couldn't help but smile. "A kid? You have a kid?"

Apparently she had yet to put together that Michiru was a bit young to have a child. Even if the notion had come into her mind, Utena would likely not mind it in the least. She liked kids.

"I like kids," she answered brightly.

After a beat, she seemed to realize the inappropriateness of her answer and blushed. Hand moved to the back of her neck where she rubbed awkwardly.

"Erm.. Not that I.." the young prince fumbled for something right to say. "I don't want to.."

Then she gave up, blue eyes giving Michiru a silent apology.

Michiru managed a smile as well when she thought of the precious girl she had the privelge of calling her daughter "She's very sweet, and very smart."

That smile turned into a slighly amused grin at Utena's fumbings. The girl never failed to be charming. That was, after all, part of the problem. "I understand. But I'm sure you know too... I can't do anything to jeapordize the stability of my family..." ~~even if past-Haruka is making it a bit difficult~~ she trailed off and looked up at the leaves of the tree. They really were quite beautiful...

Utena frowned. "I.. I don't want to hurt you.. or your family.."

Her chest tightened, and she desperately wished she could pinpoint why in the world all this was so difficult. What she should be doing was turning around and walking away. Her feet, however, seemed to have other plans seeing as how they were firmly planted.

The struggle seemed to show across expressive features.

"This should be a lot easier," she mused aloud.

Michiru should be walking away too... busted leg or no, she really should. At least she could try to pretend this was about a slightly different issue...

"Well, many here have said the curses are supposed to cause trouble for the inhabitants after all..."

All about the curse day itself. That's all this was...really.

"If this was limited to the curse, I wouldn't have asked you to come here, Michiru," she answered firmly. "...If I thought I could chalk it all up to the curse and walk away."

Then she made a decision, walked over and sat on the bench next to the green-haired girl. She kept a polite distance.

"Like I said, this should be a lot easier."

Michiru watched Utena sit beside her. She sighed and reached a hand forward to brush abit of pink hair aside to better view Utena's face.

"It can't be easier, Utena. It shouldn't be either. My partner and I..."

Blue eyes closed as Michiru's fingers touched her hair.

"I meant.. I should be easier to say we were cursed and move on," she clarified. Then her eyes opened and she turned to look at Michiru full-on. She reached out and intercepted the hand that had moved into her personal space. "You.. what? Please forgive me for saying so, Michiru, but you don't seem happy... didn't even before all this happened."

As Utena grabbed her hand and pointed out what Michiru knew was obvious, she shivered. And drew her hand away, feeling uncomfortable with ho perceptive Utena was behaving. After all Haruka was much the same,and if Utena could see her unhappiness then...

She began to speak... mostly to herself, but she wasn't so soft that Utena couldn't hear. "It's....It's a bit strange... having your partner come back to you from the past. a little discouraging as well, when you had watched them mature and grow... then find them being back to thier overly reckless and headstrong nature... And when they aren't even sure how they feel about the family you love..."

Utena looked fairly uncomfortable after Michiru drew her hand back. She seemed slightly upset with herself for the forward motion. After all, here she was basically being told ( though not in so many words ) that any advances she planned to make had to be rejected.

She listened to Michiru speak, and Utena sincerely empathized with her. To wake up in a strange world, and then to get your perceived most important person back.. only to find them not the same. Her own relationship with Himemiya was complicated enough without the added strain of coming from two different worlds.

"Himemiya doesn't touch me here," Utena said, commiserating. "She stiffens up when I hold her hand. ..She doesn't really talk to me. ..She won't let me help her. It's very lonely."

Michiru felt for her. The sympathy she had shone brightly in her eyes, in the way she held her body. But... she couldn't afford to let her guard slip. Her family meant too much, and Utena was too new.

She drew her face up nto an annoyed expression. Not entirely a lie as she was irritated with herself for getting into this situation in the first place. And the thoughts that passed through her mind reminded her of how wrong it would be.

"Utena-san" she said sharply. Sharper than she meant to actually.
"Are we supposed to be unfaithful because are partners are different here? What about back in our worlds? does it make it right to betray them just because we can't get back home?"

Utena drew back as if bitten. In fact, she stood from the bench altogether and took a small step backwards. Jaw opened, and she worked to speak but no sounds escaped. Several different emotions made their way across her face as she tried to work out what in the world to say. She turned away from Michiru and spoke.

"I think.. I'll never stop trying to save her. She doesn't deserve what she's going through.. but.. I'll only make myself miserable by banging my head against the same brick wall. If she doesn't want me.. I can't make her.. and.. This place is difficult enough without my doing what I can to be happy.. or.. at least.. fulfilled in some way. I have to do something for me, you know?"

As she spoke, her hands clenched at her sides. Talking about Himemiya was painful. It hurt on levels Uten had never hurt before. She hated even thinking about doing something that could possibly be considered selfish when it came to her promise to the purple-haired girl.

The two of them made quite a pair. And they both sounded horrible.

Finally, she turned around to look down at Michiru. Not once had the other girl denied any want of Utena. So, true to her nature, Utena wouldn't back down.

"When do you stop taking care of everyone else and start taking care of yourself, Michiru?"

"Oh? You allow yourself such selfishness because you are trapped? Would you turn to someone else back in your world then, if your life became nothing but hardship?"

She couldn't let it happen. And it would be easy enough not to, sh told herself. All she had to do was remind herself of how horrible they both sounded when they considered doing anything but dismissing that day.

As if to remind herself as much as to answer the prince, she looked out at the garden, then closed her eyes, speaking softly, but firmly. "It is my duty and mission to care for everyone else. I couldn't break that... " ~~even if I wanted to~~

"I don't know what I'd do back in my world," she answered. "But it's pointless to think about that. I'm not in my world. You're not in your world. Himemiya isn't my Himemiya, and from the sound of things your partner isn't the one you left behind."

Utena moved and crouched down in front of the seated girl. Her first instinct was to reach out and touch her somehow, but she reminded herself that would not be perhaps the best course of action.

"We can't live our lives here as the ones we left behind. We're here. Now."

She was quiet for a moment, looking up at the troubled young woman.

"If you're so busy taking care of everyone else, when do you care for yourself? What happens when you've neglected yourself to the point that you're useless to them? Something's got to give, Michiru."

Michiru just stared into those beautiful, honest eyes. It all seemed so believeable when she talked about it...

But... her family...

She couldn't speak, couldn't bring herself to respond one way or the other, and the trouble showed on her face. "I..."

"I don't want to hurt your family, Michiru, and I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to make you sad."

Despite the conversation and the tension in the moment, Utena smiled softly. A hand reached out and very tentatively touched Michiru's forearm.

"But that's just the thing because.. I don't think I do."

"Utena..."

A hand drifted over to cover Utena's on her forearm. "I... my family..." But her voice sounded weaker than she wanted it to...

"You never have to put your family second to anything. I would never ask that of you. I know too well what it's like to not have one."

Though her smile faded, there were still hints and traces of it ghosting the corners of her mouth.

"I will walk away right now," her voice sounded clearer than it had since the conversation started. "If you tell me you want me to."

"No.... that's not what I want." She leaned forward to rest her forehead against Utena's. "That's not what I want at all... You're too nice for me to forget."

Still... images of her family flashed through her mind. Her insecurity, something so foreign on the fine featured face, stil shone in her eyes. "No one else can know..." she warned, hardly believing what she was saying

She smiled. What the two of them intended to do was risky, considering the amount of collateral damage to be inflicted were something to go wrong. Still, Utena felt extremely relieved. Instead of nodding, she reached up with her free hand and placed it gently against the other girl's cheek.

"No one," she echoed. "I promise."

She didn't move, taking in this fragile moment as if afraid it might scatter in the wind. The magnitude of what they were promising shook her to the core. What was ths city, that put her in contact with such beautiful people...

she closed her eyes, so close to kissing the pink haired prince, but... so far as well, her thoughts still with Haruka. Then.. she remembered. It was so important, she couldn't believe she'd forgotten, and she drew away as though Utena's touch was fire.
"I... I can't..."

She covered her mouth with her hand and looked to the prince regretfully "When I came home, after that day- Utena, my partner alredy suspects..."

Utena swallowed, blue eyes closing and lips pursing together in an expression of both disappointment and frustration. Then she reached out and took both of Michiru's hands and brought her face close, the two of them separated by mere breaths.

"Tell me you don't want it then. Tell me you don't want me. Tell me to go away," she spoke as blue eyes looked down at Michiru imploringly. "Tell me and mean it."

It was too intense... This close... She tried half-heartedly to pull away, but it was no use. But she couldn't... she shouldn't....

"Hotaru....." she whispered, trying to remind herself of what she stood to lose here. But... she was smart, and surely...surely she could make it work...right?

Her lips were brushing Utena's when she whispered next, so softly that her breathing was almost louder that the voice, whispering a plea, a prayer...
"Haruka..."

Her hands moved then, from Michiru's hands to the sides of her face. That feeling in her chest had changed from foreboding to all-consuming, a heat radiating to the extreme portions of her body. The color on her face had little to nothing to do with any sort of embarrassment.

"Michiru.."

Then Utena kissed her.

A single tear was the last outward display of the fears and concerns that she knew would rest in her heart for as long as this continued. But it seemed as though there weren't really any other choice. This woman... she was...

The kiss seemed to last a lifetime. And she was so loathe to stop it... but even though this area of the garden was secluded, she knew it was too open for this. So, gradually, reluctantly, she drew back, kissing just a little again before leaning back to gaze into those remarkable blue eyes.

As Michiru pulled away, Utena blinked her eyes back into focus, taking in the astonishingly beautiful features of the girl sitting so close. She felt something wet hit the fingers at Michiru's cheek, and Utena softly wiped away the tear.

"Gomen," she said quietly, apologizing for this whole thing. She was apologizing for many things, chief among them that she couldn't.. didn't want to stop whatever this was.

Her eyes closed as she felt Utena wipe away her tear. She studied the fine featured face before her, and couldn't help but smile a litte, sadly, as Utena apologized. "Such a prince..."

Taking Utena's hands with hers, she kissed the delicate fingers "We're in this together."

She nodded once, a small smile playing across her features. Fingers 'twined themselves with Michiru's before she moved, finally sitting on the bench next to the green-haired girl. She figured they would look less conspicuous that way.

"Oi," she called gently, leaning over to nudge Michiru's shoulder with her own. She felt the need to lighten the mood just a bit. "Think you could smile for me?"

Michiru relaxed once Utena sat beside her on the bench. Much easier to explain than Utena kneeling before her like a man about to propose...

She chuckled and managed a small smile for the prince. Even a small dash of blush touched her cheeks. "Mah, It's a lot to go through. Sorry for seeming so melencholy though."

"I'll need to think of something to throw my partner off the trail right away." She stretched delicately, her mind already at work. She wasn't a stranger to deception after all...

Utena shrugged gently, turning her head away to look off across the distance of the gardens. They really were beautiful. Not quite a rival to Himemiya's roses but still picturesque. Michiru's apology, in her estimation, was entirely unnecessary. After all, considering the circumstances...

Being a complete stranger to deception, she had no words or advice on the subject of red herrings. Quite often her emotions were clearly readable in her expressions. So, she brought up something else entirely.

"What happened?"

After a beat, she seemed to realize the vague nature of the question and turned back to Michiru, gesturing at her leg.

She was pulled from her thoughts of decieving by the comment, and she looked to the leg and sighed a touch.

"A group of us in the city tried to organize a massive coordinated attack on the barriers to try and make an escape route."

She nodded to the injury "It didn't go over well."

Utena blinked, obviously surprised by the answer. She had expected something rather mundane. Coordinated attacks hadn't even entered into her vocabulary. Blue eyes looked the green-haired girl up and down while Utena seemed to silently assess her.

"Do you make a habit of getting injured?" she asked, a teasing tone creeping into her voice. "Am I getting myself involved with some kind of hero.. or vigilante.. or ninja?"

Eyes widened comically as she looked at Michiru with a new light behind blue depths. Her childish nature showing through, Utena seemed genuinely thrilled at the idea.

"Michiru, are you a NINJA!?"

The comment and the enthusiasm behind it caught the soldier of the sea off guard, and she simply stared at the pink haired girl for a moment before she was overcome by a small rush of gentle, melodic giggles.

"Nothing quite like that" She intoned. ~~not a ninja...a soldier~~

She turned her gaze to the fields of flowers again "I just don't think people deserve to be trapped here by deities that treat us like toys"

A blush colored her cheeks as Michiru giggled, Utena just seeming to realize the outlandish and immature nature of her outburst and its contents. She sheepishly smiled in Michiru's direction.

The subject of the city piqued Utena's interest. Her own world was so disturbing, she hadn't given thought to the fact that some people might come from nice worlds they actually missed.

"I don't like the deities or the curses anymore than the next person," she answered. "But some of us are better off here than where we came from."

"Oh? It must have been quite a world you lived in."

She sighed a bit "My own world isn't free of problems, but I have important people there that I can't just leave. And I have my mission..."

After a moment, she looked to the prince questioningly
"Isn't there anyone you miss?"

She shrugged half-heartedly, meeting Michiru's inquisitive gaze with a rather passive expression. She had been planning on leaving everyone behind when she'd wound up here. The only person she'd been mildly close with was Wakaba, but she hadn't deluded herself into thinking they were really friends.

Did she miss Himemiya? Her Himemiya? She wasn't sure. There was another version of her here after all.

"Not really. I didn't belong where I came from. I'm more relieved to be out of there, even if this place is a bit... odd."

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Log; Ongoing

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