tampered | (no subject)

(no subject)

When; August 20th, 2008 (Age Curse)
Rating; G
Characters; Harry Potter (

equalmarked and Sirius Black (

canisfidelus)
Summary; Harry and Sirius meet during the Age Curse.
Log;

He should have been expected this sort of thing to happen, given that he was in the bloody City. The word impossible wouldn't be found in a dictionary here, and after meeting the teenage version of Sirius Black, this was only normal, wasn't it?

But City or not, Harry had always wondered what he'd say to his Godfather after his death - the man who'd still be alive if he hadn't been so impulsive. He'd brushed upon the words now and then, but now he finally had the chance. To apologize. Yet as he stepped toward the fountain, eyes meeting his Godfather, he could only wonder where there words went.

"...Sirius."

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"Of course you're going to say that, but I don't take it back."

Harry's change in expression was far too easy to catch upon Sirius's mention of Ron. Annoyance was clearly written in his grin-turned-frown and the bluntness of his tone.

"Do we have to talk about that now? He's well enough earned me not speaking to him."

There wasn't anything in particular he wanted to address- things he could address, but in the end, it didn't matter what they spoke about. What mattered was that Sirius was here. ...Well, anything that didn't involve his issue with Ron.

Edited 2008-08-21 05:21 (UTC)

"Then don't take it back. I accept your apology." He said, brushing his hand over Harry's head. He saw the frown and knew that he had to take it slowly - that this was a delicate topic for Harry, clearly.

"Tell me what happened," he said quietly, knowing that his godson might refuse and allowing him that right. There were some things that needed to be worked out between teenagers.

He pressed a palm to his forehead as he began to speak, this wasn't a side himself he wanted to show Sirius, but it was matter that'd have to be addressed eventually. Even if the game of avoiding the issue still seemed welcome at this point.

"Ron abandoned us, if you want to put it bluntly," he replied, doing as well as he could to hold back his anger, "he couldn't take it- the fact that everything wasn't perfectly planned out, and that living in the wild wasn't like his bloody home."

Sirius remembered that kind of anger. "In my opinion," he stated carefully, trying to keep his tone even and not judgmental, "You ought to consider speaking to him about it. I think he feels rather stupid over the whole affair."

He paused. "I don't want to see him hurt because he did an idiot thing. If my cousin should show up again, it would be a problem."

"Well, he should considering it was well stupid of him," he responded, obviously not letting Ron Weasley off easy, "And talking me will be nothing compared to when he speaks to Hermione, you realize? When Hermione gets to that point."

Perhaps today was one of Harry's particularly stubborn days.

"If she shows up again then...it's a different matter, but she's not, is she? We can deal with that when need be."

Sirius let the topic go, and chose to replace it with an even sharper one. "I heard I'm a teenager, normally," he said with a wry smile. "Have you gotten close to punching me yet?"

"Not yet, but I've been sorely tempted to. Whoever knew you were such a prat, Sirius," Harry joked, grateful for the sudden shift in topic, "Any tips on how I could get along better with your younger self? I don't think...he's taken well to me, but can't say I blame him. I am wearing your best friend's face, and am obviously not James Potter."

"I warned you," Sirius said with a laugh. He had been a prat, an annoying cocky one as a teenager, but it was also likely that Harry had never been exposed to the deeper, more loyal facets of his teenaged personality. "Well first," he said with a casual grin, "I don't recommend you trying to go through Remus. That's not brave enough for my attention."

He considered what he would have liked in a friend at the age of sixteen. "You're too good," he said. "Try to be a little bad. A risk would always get me intrigued. And show off what you can do, I've always liked arrogance."

Sirius patted him on the shoulder, "And don't hide under your mother's skirts."

"If only I'd known that earlier!" he faked an exasperated sigh, not at all regretting his choice to tell Remus, "Could've done the right thing instead of telling Remus the truth to try and keep the rest of you guys safe."

"...And I've got all sorts of experience with taking risks, though none that I could really showcase in the city - unless Voldemort was to show up? Which I'd rather not have."

"What do you suggest then? Follow in my father's footsteps and prank some--," he pauses mid-sentence, quirking an eyebrow at Sirius's last comment, "I do not hide under my Mum's skirts. They're just acutally comfortable with speaking with her."

Edited 2008-08-21 06:58 (UTC)

Sirius took a deep breath. It was a great and horrible thing that he had done to Remus, but worse was the loyalty that the werewolf had to him. "My relationship with Remus was deeply complex when we were children. He was always the most rational of us, but that doesn't mean that he is the one to go to as a proxy to deal with me." He took another breath. "I'm wasn't good at serious conversations."

He smiled at the comment about his mother's skirts. "No, you're right. You probably don't. But she wasn't exactly on close terms with us during our years at Hogwarts."

"I didn't know what to do, Sirius. Bellatrix was here and could have targeted Dad, and I don't think you would have taken me telling you that I was the son of your best friend very well," he pauses, continuing the sentence beneath his breath, "...except that he does know now, thanks to a curse that decided to showcase my bloody memories."

He wouldn't tell Sirius that his younger self knew about his fate. Harry suspected- hoped that it would become forgotten once he left the City.

"Closer than either Hermione, Ro- or I at least."

Sirius listened, and he understood. "I understand, you know. I understand where you're coming from, the pain you're facing, the problems with us as teenagers. We weren't such good people." He paused. "Appeal to my better nature. Ask Lily. She'll know."

He offered Harry another pat on the shoulder. "I'm proud you're my godson, even if I'm an idiot as a sixteen year old."

"It's not that, Sirius. You're not a bad person, you never have been or will be. You're young, and I'm not being entirely fair to him either. When your younger self entered the City, I wanted things to be the same, I wanted the same Sirius who I could always rely on, the Sirius, that aside from Hermione...and Ron, was the only family I had -- I guess I just wanted you, Sirius."

Harry knew he was being unfair to the teenage Sirius, expecting to form even a friendship without really even trying. He'd forgotten that he couldn't expect Sirius to suddenly buddy up to him just because he still had the expectations of the same Sirius he had known.

"I know I've got to earn that from him, and the way I've been acting towards him hasn't helped anything."

Edited 2008-08-21 07:51 (UTC)

Sirius nodded. There were issues, and he could see that Harry could be a friend; but things would have to change. Someone would have to change - maybe him, maybe someone else. Something would have to happen for things to work out the way that Harry wished they would.

"Relax," he suggested. "Things will work out."

He looked at his watch - they still had some time. "Tell me about Severus," he said softly, "What happened."

Dipping his fingers absentmindedly into the fountain, he debated for miniute between avoiding the issue or being completely frank with Sirius. There wouldn't be any harm at this point in telling Sirius the truth, Harry realized.

"Severus killed Albus Dumbledore," he stated, jaw tightening, "I saw him do it."

Sirius was shocked into silence. Severus kill Dumbledore? That was absolutely unthinkable. For Severus to be an actual Death Eater was absurd on so many levels - they had trusted him to be their man inside this war.

Sirius didn't doubt what Harry saw on the completely basic level because he knew Harry would never lie about something so serious. "Harry," he said, his voice urgent and real, "You saw this, and that is the only thing that could have happened? Severus was not Imperiused, there was no coercion, it was truly death...you're absolutely certain?"

"For awhile after, I wanted to believe that he was still alive; that he'd pulled another trick and was actually alive," he replied, the words still strange on his tongue - that Albus Dumbledore was dead, "Even Albus Dumbledore wouldn't have survived an attack like that, Sirius."

Imperius could easily explain everything, but it wasn't something Harry could believe. Even if Snape had helped them on numerous occasions in the City, Harry could never see him as anything but a slimy, murderous git. Perhaps it was bias, but it wasn't like Harry had ever trusted him in the first place, nor had Snape's reaction to when he brought up the topic of Dumbledore hint to Imperius.

Edited 2008-08-21 21:41 (UTC)

"Then stay away from him," Sirius said with a fierce scowl. "Don't go seeking revenge. And if my cousin should come back to the City, don't go seeking her out, either." He knew Harry's slight obsession with revenge. "It's not because they'll kill you, even though they will," he explained, "but because you have other things to worry about."

More important things like doing something that Dumbledore should have done. Bearing responsibilities that no seventeen year old should have to bear.

"I won't. I know that regardless of what happens here, I need to make sure I stay alive and well," he spoke, underlining his tone with an noticeable seriousness, "Besides, there's really no point in killing someone again, is there?"

That was his one small victory. Whether by his hand or not, Bellatrix Lestrange would die.

"...There's also something, if we have enough time. About Dumbledore."

Sirius nodded, and kept silent, waiting for Harry to fill him in.

"There's a lot he didn't tell us - about himself. Though that's pretty obvious however you look at it."

Unfolding a partially crumpled letter from his pocket, he handed it to Sirius. It was the letter that shaken an already questionable view toward the late Headmaster; a snippet of Dumbledore's friendship with the Dark Lord to precursor Voldemort.

"Dumbledore was friends with Grindelwald. I would think it's what you would call a close friendship."

He took the letter and read it, and carefully handed it back. "Harry," he began carefully, "Dumbledore is a very old wizard. This letter...it may be true, and I don't doubt it is, to be honest. But let's think rationally. I am not the same man I was when I was seventeen, and neither is Dumbledore. Our experiences shape us, change us, and allow us to be better people." He put his hands on Harry's shoulders. "You have to trust - if you trust - that Dumbledore was the kind of man you would follow, or you don't."

He paused for a moment, to let it sink in, then continued. "If you do not trust how the Headmaster treated you, then you are the one who has to decide what to do. But I honestly believe in Dumbledore," even through that stab of betrayal, taking Harry away from him, "and I think you should as well."

"But you weren't best friends with a soon-to-be Dark Lord, while also plotting a rise over Muggles, were you? It's completely different! This is bloody Dumbledore, we're talking about - defeater of Grindelwald and head of the Order of the Phoenix. Yet here he's nearly taking something from Voldemort's own mouth. For the Greater Good."

Harry sighed, closing his eyes as he sorted out his thoughts. It had only been a few days since setting eyes on Rita Skeeter's book and the letter, and he was still left confused, more so conflicted over the late Headmaster. This was the man who'd he trusted and looked up to since entering the Wizarding World, someone who's words and directions he'd follow despite the entailing risk. Never had Harry fathomed that Dumbledore could even think negatively of Muggles.

"He was always someone I could undoubtedly trust, so the fact that I'm even questioning him is hard to believe. But after reading that letter, hearing about his sister... I don't know what to think, Sirius."

Edited 2008-08-22 05:35 (UTC)

Sirius nodded, hearing the anger and the betrayal. "Does it change what you have to do?"

He didn't want to sound like he didn't care, because he did. He understood what it meant to have your best friend let you down. "Harry, listen to me. What you're doing you have to do with your whole heart. Otherwise something like this, it could consume you."

He gave his godson another hug. "If I could do this for you, I would in a heartbeat."

"No, it doesn't."

Harry shook his head as he spoke, his anger abated Sirius's reassurance - his embrace.

"I'm not fighting Voldemort for Dumbledore's sake or just because he told me to. In the end, I'm fighting because I have to, because I'm the only one who can. No one, Muggle or Wizard, can live in a world controlled by Voldemort," he stated, calmly.

There would be no future for him if he didn't stop Voldemort, nor anyone that didn't fall under Voldemort's ideals.

"Thank you, Sirius. For everything."

He looked up at Sirius once more, staring him in the eyes with a smile.

Edited 2008-08-23 06:24 (UTC)

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