tampered | {x} log, complete;

When; A couple of days after Hitsugaya and Hinamori's divorce because of Aizen the Milkman.
Rating; G, PG.
Characters; Hinamori Momo (

flyingmomo, Matsumoto Rangiku (

dulciloquence)
Summary; Whenever Toushirou makes a mess of things, Rangiku's always there to pick up the pieces. tl;dr on my part ;;;
Log;

All of this was wrong.

But to everyone else, everything was right and as it should be. No one was lying, and she wasn't being declared a liar. Somewhere in between her time and everyone else's time, something happened within Soul Society. Aizen's betrayal, for one, amongst all the other things that people kept neglecting to tell her. These gaps in what she was supposed to know, what she was expected to accept, what was supposed to happen (—and somewhere in the deepest corner of her mind, she knew these events would eventually come to pass, in her own timeline—), frustrated her.

Everything she had worked herself up to, everything she had once trusted—everything was blurring into just that. A lie, according to everyone.

She curled her hands into a tight fist, looking down at the floor beneath her as she drew her legs close to her chest; sitting in the little corner of her room, staring at the lines of the tiles beneath her seemed so much more interesting than to do anything else, at this point. Tracing a line with her finger in an almost listless fashion, she stared long and hard at the tiles until they seemed to mesh together in her vision. What did they expect her to do? What did she expect herself to do?

An important decision still had to be made on her part, but acknowledging it would bring down the entire foundation of what she built her life on. For her, it was two months of thinking yet at the same time, not thinking, because she was genuinely afraid for herself, for a life without her captain to depend on. Two months of hesitation and much frustration on Toushirou's part. Two months.

Two long, long months that never seemed to end, and now, even through all this time, she found that she was still stuck in the same place she was at, upon her arrival. Still no decision about the Gotei. Still no answer to give to Toushirou. Still nothing to say to Aizen.

And of Aizen—

—there was a sense of uneasiness, a sense of fear that made her freeze up every time she heard his voice through the network. Something that always made her squeak and shakily respond back. Something that made her feel like something was choking her ever so slowly, cold, slender fingers wrapping around her neck and suffocating her into submission. Something that made her want to cry, but since this was her captain she was thinking about so she just couldn't, on the basis that he was

Captain.

Aizen.

Sousuke.

Her figure of admiration. Her pillar of support.

Burying her head into the cloth of her hakama, Momo shook her head, letting the soft, cool fabric rub against her cheeks.

She didn't want to think about it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

A tiny part of her feels as though it isn't her place.

It isn't her place to be the one to attempt to convince Hinamori of the truth, to pick up the pieces - but Hitsugaya-Taichou had asked her, in his roundabout way, and she would do it. Even though she's only been here a day or so, even though people remembered her being here when she hadn't, she hadn't—

None of that matters right now. Her priority is her captain's request - and her duty to her friend.

She will smile and coddle and offer comfort and talk. She will small talk, she will big talk and she would, above all other things, be there to listen. She's good at that much.

Before she even bothers to go see Hinamori, the tea is made; set up on a tray before she moves silently through the apartment.

She doesn't know what Hinamori is thinking - she can't know, can she? Her captain never betrayed her.

Her lips curve upward bitterly, at that. It's short-lived however and she carefully knocks on the door to the other's room - with a foot, since her hands are full - before managing to finagle it open somehow.

Her smile now is sad as her eyes fall on the form in the corner - setting the tea service aside and moving swiftly to her side. "Hinamori-chan."

In almost no time at all she's drawn the other Shinigami into a hug - not a suffocating one, no - but all the same a hug.

Because sometimes, it's all she knows how to give anymore.

And when that hug came, the feeling of warmth surrounding her, Hinamori fought the urge to scamper away and reject it. Reject it, because she didn't want anyone to know but at the same time, wanted someone to acknowledge the fact that she was trying her hardest to not get in anyone's way. Trying hard to make a decision. Trying hard to rationalize, but sometimes, it was hard to let go of something that was so familiar.

But in the end, she doesn't scamper away, and instead, finds herself still in the arms of the big-busted lieutenant. And from Momo's end, just a quiet murmur of, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just so sorry about everything," escapes her over and over again, before she manages a quiet sniffle of sorts.

Raise your chin. Raise your chin. Raise your chin and look at her except—

—she can't, she couldn't, and she wouldn't.

Decisions shouldn't be this hard to make.

"I still can't."

Edited 2008-09-28 05:07 (UTC)

In the end, Rangiku wouldn't have let Hinamori scamper away - not now, not ever. She just continues to hold her close, fingers of one hand stroking through her hair as she murmurs a faint "shh," against the side of her head; trying to think of what to say and yet—

There isn't much, is there.

"Don't be sorry, Hinamori-chan."

She slides a little bit - sitting against the wall with the other shinigami next to her now; though she hasn't quite let her go yet.

"These things take time. It's just very important."

She hesitates - it's not her place, not her place but—

"What have you been told since you got here, Hinamori-chan?"

She knows, but all the same—

—they've something in common, haven't they.

It's like a mother's touch, isn't it. Something Momo was familiar with, but for the longest time hadn't experienced because she never visited home anymore. Hadn't, even before she wound up in the City. Her grandmother—how was she doing? In her preoccupation with her captain-supposedly-not-captain, she had neglected to think about the old woman who had nurtured her since as long as she could remember.

How selfish.

And with that question, she sniffled and looked up at Rangiku, albeit grudgingly at first, before shaking her head a bit, clinging onto the older woman like a child.

She was a child, in some ways. She was still childishly clinging onto old ideals, false hopes, a string of lies; it was evident in the way that she fumbled a bit to find her words, telling the entire story between spurts of sniffling and incoherent mumblings.

"—Captain Aizen isn't, wasn't, wouldn't be like that, he tucked me into bed right before he left for his meeting, and everything was all right, back home—"

Edited 2008-09-28 20:53 (UTC)

As notoriously soft-hearted as she is, this is breaking it. Rangiku inhales, slow - hold tightening somewhat for a moment before she shakes her head - trying to clear it.

"We all thought everything was all right. All of us... And we thought everything would still be all right, always." She's smiling now but it's broken and sad - things are rarely all right, any more.

"It's hard... it's hard to believe that someone you care for and trust so much could do something so horrible, isn't it?"

—because no matter how hard she tries to forget, Ichimaru's betrayal in particular burns her. But she's not important now, Hinamori is—

"I wish I could tell you that things turned out differently than they did, Hinamori-chan. That everything is okay and nothing went wrong. But I can't... I can't lie to you."

Since when did everything go so wrong?

Deep inside, Momo knows she shouldn't drag all this out but there's something that keeps her from letting go. She thinks she's over him, she thinks she's come to a decision, and then, at the worst of it all, his voice comes through the communicator—

—it all ends the same, with her waiting for his voice, for him to say something more and she's waiting, waiting, and waiting some more. She's dependent on him, and without his presence she's lost. Doesn't know what to do. Doesn't know what to say, half the time.

"I want to go home."

It's the same, isn't it? Part of her knows she'd run right back if... She pushes that thought away, moving to press a kiss to her forehead, a stupid, silly little thing she might regret later but for now, it doesn't matter.

"If time stops at home like people say... I can't help..." She pauses, closing her eyes a moment - it's a terrible, selfish thing to say, but—

"I can't help but think that we're all better off here, if only for a little while."

"But it's not home."

It's a childish statement, but one so blunt and full of truth that Momo knows it's true. Despite everyone being here, it's not home. It's not Soul Society. It's not where they should be. And it most definitely isn't where they belong.

She's cradled by those two soft hands and she returns it by slinking into the lieutenant's hold, shoulders loosening a bit more than before. Yes, this is familiar, and even though before she didn't want anyone comforting her, she doesn't ever want to let go.

It shouldn't be this hard, coming to a decision.

Edited 2008-09-28 23:03 (UTC)

{x} log, complete;

no subject

dffafdklafsd i don't care about tenses anymore

shut up tenses are serious fucking business

you know what maybe we need a divorce, because obviously our priorties don't match

wait so first you're divorcing dad and now me?? how does that work

don't question the legal system, baby and kadjasfd STABS SADNESS FOREVER

fine i'll just move to las vegas with dad and become a stripper when i grow up then

no baby, get a college education /then/ become a stripper ;;;