tampered | (no subject)

(no subject)

When; Evening, May 19th
Rating; PG
Characters; Blair

thefutureking
Summary; to be updated~
Log;

Blair was alone tonight. There was that whole mess with the Red team versus the Blue team and keeping Victrola safe so Faith had to work overtime yesterday. It was just as well, she supposed. She was in no mood for talking or dancing anyway. She just wanted to be out and drinking alone, even if she was not really dressed for being alone with her Thread Social and Chloe and Fendi and red red lips. She would fit perfectly in a Vanderbilt dinner, if not for her tousled hair.

By now she was getting used to the layout of the Underground, and there were always people willing to take her to places. Vampires, people, not-quite-humans. Not a single one of them tried to hurt her. Some of them even bought her drinks, but they never made her do anything she did not want. They were just being nice. It occurred to her that they were kinder than those girls in school, despite all appearances. Heck, they were probably kinder to her than her own mom.

She swirled the ice in her glass, trying to amuse herself by the sound but it was not really working. She felt bored, but also too tired to do anything exciting. Placing the glass back on the counter, she sighed, poking at the floating ice with a finger.

How much longer would she have to keep at this?

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The instant the curse had ended, Arthur went back into the Underground to look for Blair. He really didn't have much to go on other than what he'd seen on the network about her being in some hot spots in the Underground.

He was dressed as inconspicuously as possible, which meant not wearing his normal clothing. Jeans, a t-shirt, and a leather jacket with his sword strapped to his hip. He had bounced around from spot to spot all day, following one lead to the next until he tracked her down here. Club Automatica.

It was Blair Waldorf at the bar and it wasn't. Dressed to the nines and looking at ease, the only thing amiss was her hair, although Arthur was probably one of the few people alive to had seen her hair... tussled. And he knew that posture anywhere, he had watched her often enough to recognize her without seeing her face.

A pang of anger and frustration hit him as he made his way through the crowd. She had come back and not said anything to him. He thought that they were closer than that, but obviously something had happened back home to make her change. Or try to change.

"I'll have what she's having," he said to the person behind the bar as he moved up next to Blair. It was a line he had heard from one of her movies and he liked it. He thought it was appropriate.

For all her calm demeanor before, she had practically jumped in her seat at the sound of his voice. She did not think he would literally scour the Underground for her, even if he had told her he would, and she did not think he would find her so soon. Either way, some remnants of the old Blair Waldorf was still in her, and she collected herself within seconds. Her mask was back on. It was easier to manage in the numbness induced by the alcohol.

She turned back to her drink, swirling the glass nonchalantly. Maybe if she ignored him enough he would go away. He was just one of the things she needed to get rid off to make sure the old her would not come back. Like an old stain that a good bleach can always clean off. Anyway, she knew he would leave after he had had his fun with her, like all the others. She might as well be the one to leave first.

He was hoping she would say something. Anything. An apology would be a nice start or a somewhat reasonable explanation other than this "old Blair Waldorf" excuse. If it had been something more minor that she had done he might have been more upset, but this sort of thing just worried him.

"So when did you plan on telling me you were back?" he asked. Arthur needed to get that out, he needed to know if she had planned on telling him at all. As worried as he was about her his pride was still stung by how she had ignored him.

Blair made it a point not to look at him, averting her gaze to her other side instead. This was definitely not what she had planned on happening --but she was done with planning anyway, right? But it was still irritating to her that he had caught her off-guard, that she had no polished explanation to give him, not even a decent excuse.

"I'm not the one you're looking for," she muttered, looking down into her glass as if all life's answers were at the bottom of it.

Arthur reached over and put a hand on her arm. Her words irritated him, she couldn't just give him a straight answer. Maybe she didn't really have a straight answer to give him.

"Then who are you?" he asked.

Blair instinctively brushed his hand off, scooting away on her stool a little. It irritated her too, this confrontation. She just wanted to be left alone, to do whatever she needed to do. She needed to mourn, to celebrate, to make herself believe that happiness was not a lie, to just let go.

"I don't want you," she said thickly, brushing a strand of hair from her face and swallowing heavily. "I don't want you," she repeated, now looking at him. As if saying it twice would make it true.

For some reason, he words didn't bother him nearly as much as he thought they would. Maybe because it was just another stupid thing said in a long line if stupid things and another mistake made in a long line of mistakes.

"Why not?" he asked. It wasn't a question of vanity, but because he didn't think she could really answer it. "Honestly, I want to know. What changed you mind all of a sudden? And don't give me that line about my title because that's not true."

Now that she had found the courage to look at him, talking did not seem as hard as it had been. A smile came to her lips, thin and slow, like a razor cutting through flesh and heart and bone. "Do you still want me?"

This would be a kill she would relish, she thought. Because it would be Prince Arthur, and it would be messy, and it would be epic, and everyone would talk about it --which was all that mattered anyway. Fun and fame. Nothing else mattered. She took his hand, slowly, placing on her thigh. Her other hand she placed on the side of his face, making sure he saw the cruel smile blooming on her face. Did he forget how much she knew of him?

"You want me."

The smile she gave him sent shivers down his spine. The only time he had seen her smile even remotely like that was in an entirely different context. But if she wanted to scare him, she was trying it on the wrong man. Arthur had been emotionally abused by his father since birth. Morgana was constantly insulting him and calling attention to his every character flaw, and his best friend Merlin had tried to fight him when they first met. Arthur Pendragon was a man who was used to being hurt by those he cared about most.

"Of course I want you," he said, trying not to focus too much on the hand on her thigh. "I want you to stop all this and come back up with me."

And there, her scheme was formulated in her mind.

Blair slid off the stool to stand closer to him. She reached up to whisper in his ear. "I would, but I promised Jason there a kiss," she muttered, casting a random glance at the dance floor. "And Matt and Alex there, they'd rather I go down on them," she bit her lower lip in amusement. She rested a hand on his torso, clutching at his shirt and trying to pull him closer. This would work for sure.

"You could be next in line, if you want."

Arthur felt his face flame with anger at the way she was manipulating him and what she was implying. Had she really done those sorts of things? If she had, then... obviously, things were over. That sort of betrayal Arthur wouldn't allow. Couldn't allow. But that didn't change the fact that he cared about Blair and what she was doing was hurting herself.

"Then they'll just have to be disappointed," he hissed, reaching up to grip the wrist of the hand that trailed along his chest. "Because you and I are leaving, and if they have a problem with that they can take it up with the end of my sword. I care about you too much to let you do this to yourself. If the old Blair is dead, then fine. But this is not the Blair you want to be. This is just the Blair you think everyone would be shocked to see. If you want to change then stop letting other people dictate who you are. You're a worthwhile person, Blair. Find things that make you feel that way."

Blair gasped, but refused to show him any fear, returning his action with a withering glare instead. She tried to tug her wrist away, but quickly gave up. "You think I haven't tried?" She spat, her voice made of cracked edges. She could feel several eyes turning to them, but she was used to making scenes by now. Her eyes were dry.

How could she tell him the many things she had lost, all because she was not good enough? He would be disappointed for sure. Even without all this bad girl act, she really was not the Blair Waldorf he wanted.

She tugged at her wrist again, stronger this time. "Let me go."

"No," Arthur said, his voice stern and forceful. "I won't let you go. I'm not leaving here without you, Blair. This is not making you feel happy. It's making you feel different and that's not the same."

Now Arthur was getting angry at her stubbornness, mainly because he knew he was just as stubborn as stubborn as she was.

"What happened back home that made you act like this?"

There was no point, Blair supposed, in even attempting the struggle. He was that much stronger than her and he was obviously not letting her go, even with a fight. So she resorted to glaring fiercely at him, it was a look that could melt down steel. Yet underneath all that flaring anger was fear. She was scared that he was indeed very mad at her, for leaving the City in the first place, for not telling him she was back, and now for being all messed up. "You wanna know what happened?" She rose an eyebrow in challenge.

"Well why don't we start with my dad who hates me. Then to Chuck who decided some whore is more worthy of his time than I am, then Serena thinks I'm the Devil's spawn, and of course she's right, and on top of it all: I'm never going to Yale." She said it all in a single breath, because if she had stopped at all then she wouldn't be able to continue.

Blair turned away in shame, then laughed wryly. "Satisfied?"

Arthur thought she was being stupid and overly emotional about this all but as she spoke he could tell how much each of those things had hurt her. It made Arthur want to enact violence on Chuck and her father for hurting her like this, although the tiny part of his brain that was rational knew this could all just be Blair's twisted perception of events. Women could be like that.

"Chuck is an idiot who doesn't know a good thing when he has it," Arthur said. "Serena was so worried about you she forced me to take her down here with me yesterday so that she could bring you back up because she cares about you."

When she turned away he reached up and gently tilted her head back so that he was looking in his eyes.

"And if I know anything it's that just because father's sometimes hate their children it doesn't mean they still don't love them," he said, a bit of pain flashing in his own eyes as he thought of Uther. That was a pain he knew that would take a long time to heal in her, if it ever did. Slowly, Arthur relaxed his grip on her wrist until his hand was only loosely there. She could pull away any time she wanted.

"And I'm sorry that you're not going to Yale," he added. "I know that was important to you. I know you care about all of those things and they all hurt you but all I care about is you. If you want to change so badly then let me take care of you. I don't think that's something the old Blair would have done."

Blair was readable enough when she was not trying so hard. His words hit a sore spot there. If there was one thing the old Blair did not have, it would be someone who took care of her, but that was not for refusing anyone do that for her. There was just no one. The closest person she had to a parental figure was Serena, but her best friend thought that betrayal was ingrained in her. That had hurt.

Now Arthur was sounding similar to her best friend, it seemed as if they thought that telling her she's a good person would turn her into one. She knew it wouldn't. Harold Waldorf would agree.

She took her hand away from his, letting it hang on her side. She could stop this 'quest for self-discovery' right here. She could go back to her comfortable penthouse, and to Serena, and to Arthur, and to Cat, and to her Blair Waldorf, Inc. as if nothing wrong had happened. She could just stop here and go back to being who she had always been, or she could keep going and maybe maybe find someone else she could be.

Blair looked up at him, her expression unreadable once more. "You could start by paying for my drinks," she said, a slow smirk on her lips.

"You don't seem to understand," Arthur said with a sigh. Apparently she was going to do this the hard way and he was going to have to drag her out of here.'

"You're not going to force me away," he told her. The prince was far too stubborn for that. Now it was almost a battle of wills for him as much as it was anything else.

"You don't seem to understand that I care about you, Blair," he added. "That means I'm not going to leave you or get frustrated after a while and just give up. I'm sorry you didn't get into Yale, I'm sorry Serena hates you, and I'm especially sorry that you feel your father does. But what matters to me is you. I don't believe that those things change who the woman I care about is deep down. All I want is Blair Waldorf. Not a woman who got into Yale, not a woman who Serena trusts, not a woman who's perfect in her father's eyes... all, I want, is you."

Blair did not mean to fight him, really she didn't. All she had wanted was for him to disappear out of her life so she could go on doing what it was she had been doing to, supposedly, find herself. But he was adamant on not leaving, and she was just as adamant on him leaving. Still, it would be nice to have someone who took care of her, right? It would be nice to stop feeling so scared. It would be nice to feel safe, for once.

Only she found that she did not really believe him. She furrowed her brows, holding back tears, but she did not cry. "I don't know what I did-- that messed it all up."

He claimed to care only about the woman she was deep down but even she herself didn't know that woman. And even had he did, he might change, and leave her, like all those others. Wouldn't it be nice if she was the one who left for a change?

"You don't-- you think I'm intelligent but I'm not. You think I'm competent but, just, look what I've done. You think I'm kind but," she chuckled. "You couldn't be more wrong." Blair let out a sob, and turned away. She supposed it was time to play her bigger cards when the game had gotten to this level.

Turning back to him, her eyes were still wet with tears, but they were stronger now. She gave him a weak smile. "It really was a lie, Arthur. I never wanted you." Her eyes never left his as she made this confession.

Arthur stared back at her, staring her down as it were. He wasn't sure if it was more upsetting that she would say something like that or more sad that she would. For a moment he thought that if she wanted him to leave so badly he should. But Arthur would never leave a woman, never leave anyone, who needed help as badly as she did.

"You should have tried a better lie, Blair," he said, leaning in closer to her. "All my life I've known what it's like to look at someone who doesn't want me."

Arthur was never a very clever person when it came to deal with people. It was his nature to bully his way through things, much like his father did. But even he was able to see what Blair was trying to do."

"All you're doing is trying to force me away so that I don't leave. Well it's not going to work, Blair. I don't know what you did either to mess it all up but I do know even after all this I'm not leaving you. You're afraid what, that I'm going to learn something about you all of a sudden and realize I don't care about you anymore? Honestly Blair, that's a ridiculous notion. It's time for you to accept the fact that you're worthwhile, I see that you are, and I'm not going anywhere."

But that was already it, she had played her biggest card. The game was over for her.

Blair took a deep breath. Even on top of all the noise from the dance floor and all the people talking, the silence between them was thick enough to be tangible. Honestly she did not know if she had given him a lie or not just then. She knew for sure that it was the title that mostly mattered before, but now that she thought she stopped caring about those things, she did not know. He had treated her so well, and that was enough, right?

She never really did know what she wanted, though she always knew what she should want. This was something she should want, and that made it harder to tell whether or not she wanted it. Archibald must have rubbed off on her more than she had first noticed, she didn't think she would ever find herself so confused.

"Fine. Don't leave," Blair said finally. "I will." Reaching to the counter to fetch her bag, she made to leave. She moved much faster than one would expect, considering her platform heels and the number of drinks she had. Like almost everything about her, it was well-practiced.

Arthur wasn't sure if that was a victory or not. Her response certainly wasn't what he was hoping for, although he wasn't even sure what he was hoping for at this point. He had thought just coming down here and refusing to leave without her would be enough.

With a sigh he followed after her. If she tried to run he wasn't sure if he could catch her in the crowd with his wounded side, but he doubted she would run. Of course, he would have doubted she would do something like this, so maybe all bets were off.

He didn't say anything, instead with a few quick steps he moved along side her, making it obvious that wherever she went, he was going to go. Just how long he was going to keep this up, he wasn't sure, but he'd keep doing it until he thought of something else.

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