tampered | Log; Complete

Log; Complete

When; Late Saturday the 25th, early Sunday the 26th.
Rating; PG-13 for comic book-violence, language and angst
Characters; Rachel Grey (

starchilde_lost) Kitty Pryde (

phasedcat)
Summary; Kitty's not talking and her telepathic roommmate has had about enough. This... could be a mess.
Log;

It was taking forever for Kitty to fall asleep. Rachel sat in her room, playing with one of the cats and just waited. Waited and thought, because what she was about to do was a little crazy, wasn't it? Like Gambit had said, it might be something the Professor would do, but that wasn't exactly the best recommendation, was it?

With a sigh, she leaned back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Kitty might hate her, might never forgive her, but Rachel had had enough. Her best friend was hurting, hurting and not talking, and Rachel was fed up with it. So with a deep breath Rachel sent her mind out to her roommate's room again, checking up on her.

There. She was asleep. Finally.

With a subtlety that might surprise those who knew her, Rachel slowly eased herself into Kitty's dreams, praying that what she was about to do would ultimately help Kitty, even if it cost her their friendship.

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Sleep wasn't exactly Kitty's favorite thing lately, memories haunted her there and she just didn't want to go there. But you can't fight sleep forever and she'd finally fallen asleep.

And there she was, in that underground lab with Peter running straight through her. She stood there frozen as he passed through her, snapping back to reality when she realized he was going to kill the men that had been chasing her.

"Peter? Please stop, you'll kill them," she said. He turned to her and fell to his knees crying asking her if he was finally dead. Tears came down her face as the image shifted to another scene.

She was in the Danger Room, her students all around her looking terrified and confused. Kitty was trying to stay calm as she stared down at the mangled body of Wing. First things first, she had to find a way out of the Danger Room. As she felt for an exit she heard a voice, Wing had reanimated, covered in blood his bones broken he walked towards her. A fight broke out and she tried to organize the students to fight back. The others finally made it through and the real battle began there with the appearance of the android Danger. In what seems like an instant Kitty and Peter were impaled straight through their bodies.

Another shift was beginning to form.

It was familiar and it wasn't. She and Kitty had spent so much time in each other's heads by intention and accident that slipping in and past her defenses had been easy.

What she was seeing was hard. Danger, the stories she'd heard played out right in front of her. When Kitty was hurt Rachel started forward, not sure what she could do, but not willing to leave her friend like that - ever.

But the landscape shifted and Rachel lost her mental balance, the real disadvantage of doing this in a dream-state.

She was falling now, underground deeper into the Earth landing in magma fighting to keep herself from materializing there. She makes her way to the surface to find Emma, she's the one who has caused this, she grabs her and takes her down into the Earth leaving her there.

The image shifts, Kitty's in a hospital bed holding a child with Peter standing there next to her. She's smiling as if she's truly happy. The image shifts to the Peter, her, and her son playing outside. The Professor and the others come, they tell her they have to take the child, that he's dangerous. She tells Peter to hold them off while she runs but he turns into his metal form and punches her.

The image shifts again, she's telling Peter that in the fantasy Emma created he'd left her and she needed time away from him. Then they are all being told about Breakworld, about the missile pointed at Earth, and about how it's Peter who they believe will destroy their world.

She's falling out of a ship clinging to Peter and she can't stay conscious, he turns so that she's on top of him to take the impact of the fall for her. When they come to they make their way through waves of Breakworld's people trying to kill them. Kitty grabs one of their guns and begins to shoot. A child see's Peter and yells to "kill it."

Now they're watching as Scott dies as his ship breaks apart. He'd sacrificed himself so that they'd have a chance to get away. But X-Men never stay dead and now they're standing all together as Scott gives them their orders.

Kitty will go with Logan, Armor, Brand, Danger, and Beast to the missle to deactivate it. The others would stay here. Peter says he'll make sure that Kitty gets there okay. Scott says he has to stay here because he's their ace in the hole and they have to have a card to hold. Kitty and Peter say goodbye as they separate. They're at the missile and they're running out of time, the army is approaching and so Kitty phases into it. She's growing weaker as she phases deeper in finding nothing inside of it.

Another shift as the missile has been launched, they've all realized it's not a missile it's a bullet. Emma's telling Kitty that they'll save her and Kitty knows they won't. Tears come down her face as she see's Peter. The environment stays as the inside of the bullet and now Kitty's just sitting there like she's an outsider watching what's happened.

The images flickered so fast, Rachel had a hard time keeping up. Her heart breaks when she see's Scott die... and then not. It's all a mess, and Rachel had a hard time keeping up. What she did catch was the pain Kitty kept feeling over and over as she lost and fought and lost and fought... and finally gave up.

It's stuffy inside the missile as Rachel's astral form settled next to Kitty. It's not the best environment, but Rachel wrapped her mind around it to hold it in place. While they're facing this, they might as well stay in it, right?

"I'm sorry, Kitty."

Kitty looked at Rachel her body tensing, "Rachel? What...no. It's not real. It's just part of it all..." She wasn't sure if she believed that but Rachel wouldn't come in uninvited, would she?

Rachel shook her head. "It was real, Kitty. Can't fool me here."

She sat down, and tucked her knees under her chin. "Why didn't you tell me about all this? I mean, you said part of it... Kitty, why did you hide all this from me?"

"You shouldn't be here! I didn't want to talk about it that's why," Kitty's voice was shaky with anger. "Why would you come in here like this? I didn't hide a thing, I told you what happened. You weren't supposed to see the details. Dammit Rachel."

"Those details, that pain, Scott... Maybe you shouldn't talk to me, maybe that's me being selfish, but you're not talking to anybody and it's tearing you apart."

Rachel looked up at Kitty. "If I have to lose you to this, this thing," she waved her arm around, "I can live with that. I'm gonna be miserable, I'm gonna be angry, but I'll live. Because you would want me to."

She tried to keep the anger from her voice and failed. "But I'll be damned it I watch you... waste away here in the City. Let it kill you from the inside. And since I can do this, I'm doing it."

"You mean you'd like to know how much I currently hate Scott? Really Rachel?"

She bit her lip trying to keep calm, "You don't do this to someone, you know that. Emma does this to people. The Professor does this to people. It's wrong, these are my thoughts, my dreams, my memories."

Kitty's eyes were filling with tears, "I'm doing fine on my own and I'm not wasting away here."

"Yes, actually I would, because you're my friend Kitty, my sister and I want to know what you're feeling. Even if it hurts me."

Kitty's words, the comparisons sting, because she's right, and she's not. "Maybe they do, and it's wrong, but maybe they do it for a reason. Maybe they do it because if we don't force these things they fester, they rot us out from the inside." The surroundings shimmered a little, Rachel's own memory of losing her cool at the Lux and attacking Kirk juxtaposed briefly over their current surroundings. With the crash of a broken table the setting re-aligned to what it had been.

"And if you were fine, we all wouldn't be so worried about you. You wouldn't be having these nightmares every night, I wouldn't have to come in here because if you were fine, Kitty, you'd talk to me."

"I don't want you to know," Kitty shouted.

Kitty watched Rachel's memory and she remembered the things she'd told Rachel about talking. But she didn't want her here and she didn't want to talk.

"We? Whose the we Rachel? What Kaidan? You know before I went back home he'd broken up with me. Remy? I don't need him worrying about me. At least he doesn't push me to talk about things I don't want to."

"I know, I'm a hypocrite about this stuff, but I did talk to someone and you know what? It felt good and it helped." Inside Kitty's mind, there were few filters left and Rachel knew what her friend was thinking, not that she wouldn't have just by the look on her face.

"We, everyone you know, Kitty. And yes, Kaidan, too, because even if you did break up, he still cares about you. And Remy is worried about you, and Rogue is, too."

She voice softened. "Don't want to and don't need to are two different things. And maybe you're not ready, maybe this was a mistake. But you're hurting Kitty. I feel it. And I just want you to know that you don't have to go through it alone."

"I do. In the small doses I can take without losing it and maybe I would have gotten to talking to you more but on my time." She swallowed hard trying not to cry more. She couldn't take this.

"Break-up get back together I'm just waiting for him to die and it'll be just like home. I don't need you all to be worried, I'm doing fine. I lose it sometimes but I'm not doing anything reckless and I'm dealing my own way."

She stood up and turned away from Rachel, "Of course I'm hurting. You think I want to die? I don't want to lose you all. I'm selfish and I want to be with you. I hate the X-Men. I hate Xavier. I hate Scott. Every bit of pain in my life is because of being an X-Man. And you have no right to come in here."

"You're right I don't. But I needed to say this and this was the only way I could make sure you listened. And you can hate me if you want to after."

Rachel started to fade away. "You're probably one of the best things that ever happened to me, Pryde. In two different timelines, you've been my friend, my advocate, and you've always been there when I needed you to watch my back. I love you and I feel like I'm losing you and I'm not ready yet."

Rachel was almost gone and her voice could barely be heard. "And you're never alone, not even here. Not as long as you remember me."

As Rachel disappeared Kitty jerked awake letting out a scream, she jumped out of bed and ran out of her room not even trying to hold back tears.

"Rachel!"

Rachel sat up, not even trying to hide her tears and holding onto Keffie like a life vest. If Kitty wanted to yell at her, Rachel'd let her, hell she earned it.

It hurt her to see Rachel upset but she couldn't deal with it, not right now.

"I don't hate you and I'm not furious with you but I don't know what I feel about this. I wasn't ready to go there with you and you shouldn't have just gone ahead and let yourself into my mind," Kitty turned away and started back to her room. "I need to not be here. I don't want to just scream at you so I need to go somewhere else."

"Yeah, I figured you might." Rachel sat still, furious with herself. She knew better, she really did, but she was so tired of seeing people she cared for hurting...

"Logan's place is empty. It's quiet there and I won't bother you. I'll make sure no one else does either if you want."

Kitty walked into her room and shoved her laptop, clothes, and a few other things into large satchel. She threw on the nearest pair of pants that she could find and came back out heading for the door.

"I can't go there. They're gone it's a reminder of that. I can't take anymore reminders of how everyone's gone. I love you Rachel, this doesn't change that. I just can't right now." With that she phased herself through the door trying to fight back tears.

Rachel stood and watched Kitty walk out, Keffie in her arms and tears on her face.

"Looks like I screwed that one up but good, huh, Kef?"

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Log; Complete

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