tampered | [Log][Closed]

[Log][Closed]

When; Sunday, May 29 (Backdated)
Rating; PG-13?
Characters; Euphemia li Britannia

deadly_legacy and Suzaku Kururugi

sword_of_zero
Summary; The curse and the resulting marriage to Yuri have ended, but there are still things that need to be said.
Log;
When she awoke that day—clearheaded again her first thoughts were still of Yuri and Suzaku. Her feelings felt jumbled and confused once more. She thought she was over that when she and Suzaku started to...

Well, nothing was official, but she certainly didn't see herself with anyone else. At least not until the curse made the decision for her.

And now she needed to talk to Suzaku and explain or apologize or something to try and put things right again. Things got so out of control the day before. She had no idea what to expect from him as she knocked on his door.

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When she came for him, Suzaku looked like he had seen better days. He had patched himself up and wore heavier clothes to hide the extent of his injuries. He had faired better than Yuri, but he felt better knowing that Yuri could take a potion to make himself feel better.

"Euphie...Good morning. How do you feel?"

As he spoke, there was a hint of exhaustion in his voice. Sleep hadn't come for him last night, he figured he could sleep when this was all over with.

"Suzaku..." Whatever words she had planned felt like they were jammed in her throat, unable to break free.

She reaches out far enough to take his arm, but she stops herself from going further in case he isn't ready. Her gaze drops back down. "I should be asking you that."

Looks down at her hand as it takes a hold of his arm. Yesterday's events replay in his mind, and he remembers how she pulled her hand away from his. His gaze is vacant for a moment, then life snaps back into them.

"I'm okay. I'm sorry that I had to resort to fighting Yuri yesterday."

Slumps his shoulder against the wall, being mindful of her arm.

"...So am I." She doesn't really agree that it was something he had to do, but she understands why he did. At least she thinks she does.

She feels awkward touching him now with the way he isn't responding, but also afraid to let go. She takes a step closer. "Nothing happened."

Well, not nothing, but it wasn't more than she'd done with Suzaku.

"I know."

Suzaku almost feels like he's at a loss. Last night, he had been so focused. He knew exactly what he wanted to do. Now it feels like the emotional side of the situation is catching up with him. He's no longer looking at it as a knight who is trying to protect his princess, but as someone who saw the person they love the most fall in love with a friend. He knows they were both cursed, but that doesn't stop it from being painful.

Closes his eyes over, and fights off the images from last night. For a moment, his body grows tense, then it begins to relax again.

She can feel the tensing as she touches him and she almost pulls away. She doesn't want to make it harder for him, but...

She wishes she knew what to say.

"Can we sit?

Nods his head and motions for her to follow him inside his room. He moves over to the ledge of his bed and sits down. He leans forward, resting his arms along his legs, and laces his fingers. There's something else bothering him, something else that is putting him in this mood. This time he allows his mind to replay the scenes from last night over and over again in his head.

What's bothering him finally clicks.

"You looked so happy last night."The words come out with a sad smile on his face. He can't help but wonder if he can ever make her that happy.

"...I..." She's quiet a moment, but she wants to be honest with him even if he didn't exactly ask her a question.

"I was." She looks up at him. There is pleading in her eyes. "But it wasn't real."

"I know it wasn't."

Flickers his gaze over at her and catches the pleading look in her eyes. He hates seeing her distressed in any way. He's not able to shake away what he's feeling at the moment, but he does reach over for one of her hands and lace their fingers together.

"I'm so tired of curses that rob people of their will."

She's glad of the touch. It relaxes some of the tension she was feeling.

"I'm sorry." It wasn't her fault that the curse was like that, but she feels guilt, like her wanting to be in this place where she can have a second life is somehow forcing others to be here too. She knows it doesn't work like that, but it's a hard feeling to shake.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about, Euphie. None of this is your fault."

It's none of their fault, it's the deities. Well, he won't skirt his responsibilities. He did take drastic actions but he doesn't regret it, it's much better than the alternative.

"I'm just glad it's over now."

"Is it?" She gives him a worried look. She doesn't want him to distance himself.

"I'll be okay."

Gives her a small smile to try and reassure her, though he doesn't feel like smiling all that much at the moment. He wonders how much truth there is to his words. He wants to be okay, he wants things to be okay, but he's feeling a lot of mixed emotions at the moment.

"I want you to trust me, Suzaku." She wonders... Should she tell him about other things or was it better to let the past stay there?

Shakes his head.

"I trust you, Euphie. I just want you to be as happy as you can be here."

After he speaks, his throat feels dry and the mixed emotions he's feeling become even more intensified. On the one hand, he's not sure if he can ever make her that happy and he feels selfish as a result. On the other hand, he wants to be the one to make her that happy.

She looks at him for a quiet moment before quickly shifting closer and wrapping her arms around him, head hidden against his chest. "You make me happy."

Wraps his arms tightly around her and closes his eyes over. He already feels better, having her close to him like this. Holding her makes it easier for him to choose a side in the war that is brewing inside of him.

"I'd forgotten what it was like to be happy, until I saw you again."

"Suzaku..." As sweet as that thought is, it also worries her. Is that really his life at home now? He doesn't know how to be happy?

"I want you to be happy."

Suzaku doubts that he'll ever be completely happy. It's too late for that. But he knows it's still possible for to have moments of happiness. He doesn't want to elaborate on his thoughts and burden her with them, after everything that's happened.

"Being here brings me some happiness. I'll be okay, I'm still adjusting to being here, away from everything in Britannia, and getting used to the curses."

She just stays pressed against him, wanting him to stay, and feeling guilty for it. "It takes time. Curses can be hard..."

"They can be." Suzaku thinks back to the conversation he had with Rita. What she had to say to him strikes more of a chord with him now, than it did back then. Still..."No matter the curse, it's still worth being here." Whenever he leaves here, he'll never get to see Lelouch or Euphie again. Holds her even tighter.

She closes her eyes, just feeling him close. "I think that way too." Of course she knows why she does. "You... You don't want to be home, Suzaku?"

"I should want to go home, regardless if time stops or not." He still has to atone for everything that he's done. He knows that he can also do atoning here, but that's not enough to ease everything in his mind. Having in his arms, however, helps ease the guilt he feels over wanting to be selfish by staying here. "But it's not want I want."

She hugs him a little tighter at that distinction. It's an important one to her. "I love you, Suzaku. I don't mean to make things harder for you." With curses. With...knowing she won't be there if he goes home. With things she's done before he arrived.

"There's no reason for you to apologize, Euphie. None of it was your intentional doing." Closes his eyes over and rests his cheek against the side of her head. Hearing those three important words brings him a lot of relief. It's one thing for him to tell her about the changes that have taken place in him, it's another thing for her to see it in action and still accept his flaws.

"I know it doesn't always seem like it, but you've given me a lot of strength to help deal with a lot of things that go on in my mind."

"It's just that I could tell...how difficult it was for you when you came to get me." The way he handled things... It still bothered her. It was hard seeing Yuri attacked. And the way he'd refused her attempts to let things end peacefully made her feel...powerless.

He's quiet for a moment before he responds to her question."I spent a lot of time doing a lot of things that were difficult to do. I'm trying to handle things differently, but it's hard to not default back to certain methods at times." He hopes one day that he won't have to use some aggressive measures, but he has a feeling that day is a long ways away. The world's not a simple place and the kind of things he experienced don't leave easily.

"It can be different here. You can make a new life." She lifts her head up more and kisses his jaw softly.

Looks a little surprised when she kisses him. Pauses for a moment, thinking about everything that's happened in his past life. The past will always be with him, he'll always carry the guilt and the memories in the back of his mind. But in this world, he has a chance to make up for one of his biggest regrets.

Closes his eyes over and kisses her on the temple."I'd like that...with you."

Her eyelids close at the soft feel of his lips brushing against her skin.

"So would I." She tips her face up closer to his. "I'll help you every way I can, Suzaku."

There nothing else that Suzaku wants to say at this moment, though there is something he wants to do. Raises one of his hands to her face and he leans in to kiss her. He still has a lot of mixed emotions inside of him, but he knows his love for her is one emotion that will stay constant.

She doesn't need any coaxing as she kisses him back. She needs the reaffirming affection to know he still cares about her and wants to be with her after everything she put him through. And not just with Yuri, but with her own death. None of it was her fault, but it all took it's toll.

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