tampered | log ; closed

She shouldn't be so worried. She should be able to ignore everything and focus on her research, on the books, tools, diagrams, and parts scattered everywhere as always.

When it comes down to it, though, Rita cares more about her friends than her research now. And she's afraid she could have completely ruined everything with the person she's likely to consider as her best friend in the City.

With lunchtime approaching, she can't even relax, as much as she tries. In the end, she just...sits right there on the floor of the study staring at the door and waiting for him.

When he entered the room, he was surprised to see her looking right at the door. He offered her a feeble little smile, unable to hide his concern to find her like this. It was like she was waiting for judgement or something... He hated that.

He carefully walked over the piles on the floor to sit in front of her, so they could look at each other. He wasn't as close as he usually was when they ate, and he wondered if that little distance would be taken the wrong way. He didn't love her or care for her any less than he did before. Things were just more complicated than they used to be.

The little bag was set between them, and he opened it up to show a pair of wrapped sandwiches and two bottles. He glanced up at Rita again, trying to think of what to say, but only came up with, "I hope you like it..."

She wasn't startled by his appearance, having been alert enough to hear his footsteps outside the door before he entered the room. Even still, her greeting came out as an awkward "uh, hey" while she watched him approach. If she noticed whether or not he wasn't as close as normal--and she probably didn't--she chose not to say anything about it.

"Thanks..." After a beat, she continued, "for...coming." It was probably stupid of her to worry after he said that he would come. But she had, anyway.

He cared about her too much to not see her again, and with the current atmosphere, he worried he might not see her again if he didn't keep his word this time. It's a thought he couldn't stand.

"Yeah... I'm happy to see you again..." He passed a sandwich over to her, partially as a distraction. There was still an uncertainty to what he should say and he wanted to watch his words. He didn't want to hurt her in any way, either by just crushing her or by giving her false hope. She looked so sad when he looked at her...

Everything suddenly seemed tense and uncertain between them. Even his saying that was a little relief, Rita didn't feel all that assured--not when they weren't acting normally. She took the offered sandwich quickly, glad enough for the distraction (delay) and started eating, but the quiet was already getting to her. They'd never get anywhere if she didn't say something.

After swallowing her bite, she blurted out, "Y-you don't think I'm weird now or anything, right?"

He looked back up at her when she blurted that out, just holding his untouched sandwich. He had the time to eat it, but he doesn't have much of an appetite. Everything felt strange, and he almost wondered if things could just return to normal like nothing had ever happened.

But he could honestly shake his head to her question. "No, you're not weird." Not at all. But since she admitted that, maybe he should at least say something himself.

"You mean a lot to me, too. After everything, it's..." Okay? Normal? Inevitable? He wasn't thinking of how his eyes had drifted down from her face to the roll of his sandwich as he spoke. "It's because we're friends... That's what I think, anyway."

Though he was definitely no expert on these things. He knew he thought of their non-cursed times together than their cursed ones, though.

Edited 2011-08-20 05:48 (UTC)

An obvious look of relief crossed her face as she lowered her sandwich. At least he still thought of her as a friend--she shouldn't have been so concerned about that, but after their awkward conversation, she couldn't help it.

It didn't mean she was any less confused, though. Because they were friends...Did he mean that was why she got carried away? Or...

At a loss, she buried her fingers in her bangs and shooks her head with a sigh. "I don't really know what to think," she admitted. "I mean, you're...important to me, but...I don't really know if..." She was getting nowhere fast. Her thoughts were too much of a jumble to herself; she had no idea how to get them across to Tyr.

Like Tyr, though, she thought of the times they spent together when they weren't cursed. That was all time spent together of their own free will, usually with nothing weird happening.

After lowering her hand, she peeked at him and tried again. "I just like how we are...you know, normally." Her cheeks had a light flush of pink at this point, but she couldn't exactly stop that.

He really wished she had finished that sentence, since he can't fill in the blank himself. Because of that, he focused on what he could understand: The look of relief on her face and her saying that she liked how they usually were. And maybe she was blushing from embarrassment, which he couldn't blame her for feeling at all... He was embarrassed to be talking about this himself.

It didn't really show when he smiled at her, though. "I like it, too. I like seeing you like this, and just...being together..." His voice had turned fond while he thought of it, and he could honestly say it was true.

"That's what's most important," he finished, looking directly up at her face again. The fact they were friends was more important than wondering if that was the reason she let herself be carried away.

She wasn't sure if he understood what she'd been stammering and in the end decided it was better left untouched, anyway. It seemed like they'd gotten to the important part; it was nice to see his smile again and be able to manage one in return.

"Yeah, that's...all that matters to me." Encouraged, she spoke with a bit more energy and confidence than before. "Yeah. We won't let some stupid curse get in the way."

Maybe she still had a heavy dose of denial, but it was mostly true. Continuing to hang out together was all she really wanted.

He always loved it when Rita smiled. She never seemed to do it enough before, and it was still like something special. And as far as Tyr was concerned, they had definitely gotten to the important part. He was too far in denial to say they really should talk about it more. Curiosity be damned, he thought, as that's clearly all it would be if he asked more.

"That's right. The City just plays games with us, but we can choose how we want to deal with those things." It was definitely the City's fault he ever had anything but friendly feelings towards her, and that was surely the same for her, too. They could go back to just being like they had before, just as they both wanted.

She was more grateful than she'd admit that Tyr agreed, that they were on the same page (or so it seemed...). Maybe she didn't really have anything to worry about in the first place, besides trying to figure out how many of her actions had been curse-based...

--Or maybe she was better off forgetting about that, actually. It was all the City's fault; they wouldn't have done anything if not for the curses. There was no point thinking any further.

"Y-yeah. It can't mess with us that easily. We'll just...do what we want." And they'd agreed that all they wanted was to do what they usually did, so everything was settled, right?

Tyr hopes all their actions were curse-based, but if Rita was uncertain before, he didn't think she was certain now.

...But pretending the last curse didn't happen worked well before. Even with the nagging feeling in the back of his head afterwards, they were happy together anyway. Maybe even closer than they were before after the awkwardness subsided. They might both have enough denial to make it through without ever really changing.

"I can't imagine you doing anything else," he joked as he picked his sandwich up again. There was a little weight lifted off his shoulders now.

Somewhere beneath all that denial, she knew she'd never forget--that even when the curse's influence was gone from her, she hadn't stopped. But without the curse, they wouldn't have started in the first place, so-

Definitely the City's fault.

She wasn't entirely certain, but Tyr seemed a bit more comfortable now. It was nice to see him joking around again, and Rita couldn't help but give him a warm smile in return. "I could say the same for you."

He gave a little laugh. Things felt a little more normal now with the two of them just smiling and sitting together. Regardless of their feelings, what they did together and thought of each other when they were in full control of themselves meant more than that. "You're probably right, too."

It was good to hear him laugh and know everything would be okay. Rita tilted her head a bit, still smiling. "Just 'probably'?"

"I'm not that stubborn," he told her, still smiling. And maybe implied that she was.

"And you're saying I am?" Because if he was implying it, she certainly wanted to know! Even if she wasn't really angry or offended--just glad, really, that they were back to bantering.

"That's right." He didn't say it with any ill-will towards her. The little smile on his face was more fond and happy than anything than teasing. "You can be really stubborn."

It almost made her wonder if he was supposed to be complimenting her. But then again...she'd fallen for his jokes before because he seemed like he was being serious. So maybe he really was still teasing her...She just couldn't decide.

Face a little flushed, she tried justifying it. "I-it's not like it's bad to be stubborn about a few things, you know."

"That's my point." So maybe it was meant as a compliment, and he was still smiling the same as before. Of course, he was teasing her, too, though, if those two things were actually compatible. He didn't really mind her that much right now, even the stubborn side of her when they didn't fight one another.

...That was probably one of the main reasons they were close friends now.

"It's better to be stubborn than weak-willed," he explained. "I like that you're stubborn..."

"Oh, uh...Y-yeah...Thanks." When he put it that way, she decided that he really wasn't just teasing her after all. So, he liked that she was stubborn...It made her blush deepen and her heart beat a little faster, and--

Maybe that curse would be harder to forget than she'd convinced herself.

Suddenly at a loss again, she returned to her sandwich. Even if she was the type to offer a compliment in return--and she probably wasn't--how could she put into words what she liked about Tyr? He was a lot of things, and trying to sum it all up by saying she liked him because he was her friend would probably sound silly.

He probably shouldn't have said that, he thought. It wasn't like he usually said those kinds of things, but it seemed right at the time since he really did believe that. If they were both stubborn, they could go back to how things used to be without a problem.

After looking at her curiously for a few seconds just for how she reacted, he started eating his sandwich even though he still lacked an appetite. In the future, he should try to not make her blush so much. For now, the mess of her study was a little more interesting.

And now she felt stupid for making everything awkward again. Idiot. She was probably thinking too hard about what he said, instead of just reacting normally...It wasn't like Tyr meant anything by it, maybe...

Rita didn't say anything for a while, even though the silence really got to her. If she didn't no what to say, then there was no point making things weirder for Tyr, so she just kept nibbling half-heartedly at her sandwich and trying to think of something.

Eventually, she did get an idea. "Hey," she ventured, looking more at his sleeve than his face. "So, uh--the lessons. When do you want to start?"

He glanced back over to her again when she spoke, looking over to her face before going to likewise look at her arm. With her unable to say anything or look him in the eye (though he wasn't much better...), he felt like he did something wrong. And really, with what this was all about, maybe he really shouldn't have complimented her. That would be a form of stringing her along, too, wouldn't it? And in that same way, he should probably lay off touching her, too. That wouldn't be so hard if he hadn't gotten so used to holding her hand without even thinking of it.

There was a short pause as he thought of that and if adding distance would between them make learning from her strange, but he eventually shook his head to clear away the thoughts. "Whenever you want to," he answered softly and plainly, like she was asking him which shirt he preferred. "I'm going to follow you, so..."

His answer was a little discouraging, like he'd lost his enthusiasm. If Tyr ended up keeping his distance, Rita might take that the wrong way, too. She might just end up thinking too hard about everything he said and did, misinterpreting his intent as she had a habit of doing. All she really wanted was for their friendship to go back to normal, as if that curse hadn't made her so acutely aware of emotions she was trying to ignore and deny even existed.

So...she should just keep acting normally, she decided. Then maybe Tyr would resume being excited about their lessons, and they could just keep having fun together like they did before.

Rita tried to sound calm and collected again when she looked straight at him this time. "I haven't really prepared everything," she admitted. But even if she hadn't, she wanted to try at least a little with him today. "We can start with some basics, though...If you want to." She wasn't even really sure why she added the last part.

The last part confuses him, too. It didn't really sound like she as asking if he just wanted to start with the basics, but if he did at all. Setting down his sandwich and resting his hand son his knees, he looked up at her face again, determined. "I do. I want you to teach me still..."

Starting their study together could be the first step in making things normal again, but for how easy that would actually be...he didn't know. It was easier to avoid people altogether than to stop feeling anything towards them. There wasn't anywhere to run, though, as he's proven to himself plenty of times, and even if there was, there wasn't even a real reason to leave anymore. It would just be running away for his own sake than anyone else's.

So he pressed on, stubbornly, in hopes things would turn out well in the end. "If you want to just give it a try without any materials, I'm ready now."

The fact that he was willing to get started--and seemed serious about it--was a bit relieving. Maybe she was afraid he didn't want to, anymore (she was overthinking everything again, wasn't she?). As long as they had something to do, it might be easier for them to go back to normal. Maybe.

Or maybe Rita just really had no idea what she was doing at all, but she was going to make this work out one way or another. So she nodded, made herself a little more comfortable, and tried to decide where to start.

"All right...Before we talk about blastia or magic or anything, you're going to have to learn the basics of science. We'll start there." Mostly chemistry, some physics--that should be all he'd need.

While learning science wasn't the most exciting thing, it was better than sitting awkwardly and discussing feelings they seemed to decide shouldn't exist. He nodded and set his sandwich aside. If she was really prepared to start now, he wasn't going to rise any objections.

"All right. I do know a little about science in general" - Sort of - "but you might as well start from the beginning... Things could be different between how our world work."

"I will," she agreed. "I want to make sure you get the theory behind everything first."

Her own sandwich was set aside as she took a moment. Somehow, she had to try and explain it clearly, without books if possible. She'd been studying these subjects as long as she could remember; there was no way she could recall how she'd started or what she first learned. "Okay, then...Let's start with matter.

"Matter is made of tiny particles you can't see with the naked eye. They're called atoms. When you have one or more atoms bound together, they form a molecule. Interactions between atoms and other particles and exchanges of energy are what's behind just about everything, from how you breathe to how blastia function." She hoped it was a simple enough introduction. How slow should she go? Into how much depth this soon?

He just nodded and remembered why he didn't really care for science. It wasn't that it went over his head - her explanation was perfectly clear - it was that it all seemed like a lot words that he couldn't really back up in his head. After all, atoms couldn't be seen and therefore the reactions shouldn't either, right?

For her sake, though, he chose to just suspend his disbelief and wait for her to go on. Rita wasn't someone he'd think is just full of hot air. If she believed it, then he'd believe it, too.

"All right, got it. So we're going to be studying atoms and things like that first." And he ventured to assume, "Then I can understand how the blastia work."

"Correct. That'll be part of it, anyway." So far so good, she thought. A general overview of everything they'd be looking at seemed like it would be a good start, so she continued. "We won't be dealing only with matter, though. Blastia run on mana, which is closer to matter than aer, but still isn't quite matter. That, and the fact that it's pretty stable, makes it more complicated to work with. Its behaviour can change, depending on the circumstances..."

She paused, thinking this was too vague. Tyr probably wanted a more specific example, something he could see with his own eyes. "Hang on a minute," she told him, and climbed to her feet in order to go through some of her equipment. She turned up a small vial filled with pale, bluish-violet crystals, and returned to show it to him. "This is mana. Like atoms, you can't normally see it, but you can get it to crystallize in the right situation. In this case, it almost acts like matter."

Now she turned her attention to her hands and, using her blastia for a simple demonstration, produced a split-second flash of reddish light. "And that was also mana, but this time it didn't behave like solid matter." She looked at him again and hoped that was all right. "So...Are you getting this so far?"

"Not really," he answered truthfully, staring at her with wide eyes. The matter thing might have messed him up. Some of it he already knew, but the rest flew over his head. He asked the first question that popped into his head: "What makes the two different—what circumstances determine if the mana is solid and or not?"

He had other questions too, like why they were visible and if mana and aer were made out of different things and what exactly they reacted with and how it's connected to matter. But he'd go one question at a time to keep either of them from becoming overwhelmed.

"Uh, yeah..." He was right; that was probably way too much at once. For now, she decided to just focus on answering his question, and then she'd figure out where to go from there.

And she needed to explain it...simply. If she could. "Crystallized mana behaves mostly like matter, while non-solid mana is more like a wave, or..." He might not get that, she realized, and decided to simplify it more. It wouldn't be exactly accurate, but that was what later in-depth studies would be for, right? "Think of non-solid mana as energy, like light or heat."

For Tyr, "a wave" brought up images of lakes and other bodies of water rather than heat or light, though he could think of heat being like a wave, too. (More so than a ray of light, at least.) He thought he understood what she was saying, at least, even though he didn't really understand it fully yet.

"And they can all be contained? Like what you did..."

It seemed like the non-solid mana was in her blastia at least.

log ; closed

And one before I head to work! Later~♥

Have a great evening!♥ /o/

Thaaanks~♥ \o\

Welcome baaack! ♥♥ /o/

Thanks!! Going to bed now, though. |D Night! ♥♥

Hee, okay! Sleep well! :D

Thaanks~ And I hope you did, too! :3

I slept and slept in some more!! |D;

Aww, so nice. X)

It was~♥

Yaaay~ :3 And I'm probably going out soon. /o/

Okay!! Have a great time! \o\

Baaack~! :D

Welcome back! /o/ Was it fun?

Thaaaanks~ It was! :3 Though now I'm sleepy and might go to bed soon. |D;

That's good! If you do, sleep well! ♥

Thank you! And you too! ♥

Thanks! :3

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject