tampered | (no subject)

When: December the 30th. Right after the Charity party.
Rating PG
Ciel Phantomhive eidoloncast and Alois Trancy ronderotarel
Ciel and Alois have drifted apart, lately. And this doesn't please Alois at all. Tonight, he wants to try a different approach with Ciel.

[It's been a while since Alois noticed. At first sight, nothing seems different. Every morning, Ciel wakes up and has breakfast with him and Luca. He answers mundane questions if Alois asks them. He still tutors Luca. He bids him goodnight.

Yet Alois knows he's totally invisible to Ciel.

The gap between them had been created slowly. Gradually, Ciel had started giving attention to other people rather than to him. He'd started going out more often and befriending random citiziens. He'd even befriended a fellow demon, as unnatural as that is. That Ciel would rather be friends with what should be his natural enemy than with him is something that hurt Alois deeply.

He's come to accept that all his efforts to have Ciel open up his heart to him have been useless. Nothing he did for him got appreciated. To Alois, it seems as if a few words from Gilbert, or even from a random stranger, are worth more to Ciel than all the times he's tried to talk to him. All the times he cried for, and in front of him.

But there are no tears in his eyes tonight. It's very very late, and Ciel still hasn't come back from the party Alois refused to attend. He's not stupid. He knows Ciel only wanted to bring him to the party to distract him. To make sure he wouldn't be bothered while he went hunting. And Alois is tired of being treated as if he cannot handle the fact that Ciel is now a demon. A demon who needs to feed. He's never been more aware of Ciel's demonhood than he is now, and that is why he has decided to take a different approach with him. No pleads, no crying, no cheerfulness. If what Ciel wants right now is to deal with other demons, then Alois will behave as one.

And eventually, Ciel comes back home. When he finally sees him on the doorstep, silent as a shadow, Alois speaks.] Finally. You've stayed out for a long time. [There's no accusation in his voice. The tone is smooth and even welcoming.]

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[To Ciel nothing has been out of the ordinary. As far as he knew he was giving attention to Alois when he needed it (as much as he disliked doing it in the first place) and he was able to keep up with his other contacts (which he never visited). So really he has no idea what awaits when he gets home. He'd bought Alois his own ticket and he hadn't even attended. Tch. He has to turn to look at Alois when he speaks.

And all he can do is frown.]

Did you think I could come home early from that? You could have come with if you'd wanted.

I didn't want to keep you from your business. After all, you do need to go hunting. [Alois is sick of acting as if he were unaware of the real reason why Ciel attends social events in the first place. But his smirk stays in place. Slowly, deliberately, he stands and walks close to Ciel. If Ciel needed to breathe, right now he'd breathe Alois' same air.] How many souls did you eat? [His voice is little more than a whisper, even if no one else is around.]

...

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Whatever was necessary. Why does that matter to you?

Because you matter to me, Ciel. Much more than you're actually aware of. [Was it really so difficult to understand? Oh well. Maybe with Ciel it's better to be literal.] You think I'd be disgusted? I could never be disgusted by you. I made you. [Do you feel the pull of the debt you still owe Alois, Ciel? Alois thinks he feels it when he places a hand on Ciel's small chest. Or maybe what he's really feeling is just the wild beating of his own heart. For the first time since he got to the City, he's seeing Ciel for who he really is. He doesn't see a shoulder he could cry on, he doesn't look for a glimpse of Claude in his demonic aura. Ciel Phantomhive, the demon, is the only one he's focused on right now. He feels incredibly possessive. He's always wanted Ciel to be his. Make him mine, Claude. I want you, Ciel Phantomhive. I want to be one with you. We are the same. Not even back then he'd been this fierce about wanting every single part of Ciel.] And I'd like to matter to you too, even if just a little bit.

[His words are barely audible, but it doesn't matter. Not when a second later his lips are on Ciel's. He slids his arms around him as if he were trying to keep him grounded in place. He doesn't want Ciel to think. He doesn't want him to wonder what this is about, or how wrong and improper it is or whatever the fuck else. He himself doesn't care. He's kissing Ciel with such passion he's surprised his own burning soul hasn't exploded already, and set Ciel on fire. Who knows if, as a demon, Ciel can feel that too. All Alois wants is to let his own soul slip inside of Ciel's body, just like it happened a long time ago.]

Edited 2012-01-11 02:05 (UTC)

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WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

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[Ciel is strong enough that his slap nearly sends Alois tumbling to the floor, but he manages to stay upright. He'll just have a bruise in the morning. He knew Ciel would have freaked out, but he doesn't regret doing what he did. Actually, he doesn't even regret what he does next.]

Don't be scared. [A giggle.] What harm could I do to you? Even if I had the strength to hurt you, I never would. [His hands are stroking Ciel's hair now. Just like he did a very long time ago. Such a beautiful blue. I wonder if my soul could turn of the same color if I became one with you.] Stop thinking. [He's whispering straight in Ciel's ear.] Just feel me. [Then he's kissing Ciel's neck, and his eyelids, and his lips again. He's worshipping every single part of him he can reach and he doesn't care if he'll get hit again for it.]

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STOP IT!

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[This time Alois goes tumbling to the floor. Not because Ciel's shove was that strong, but because after all, he's used to falling on his knees in front of those he loves.

He sees how scared Ciel is and wants to make it better. But he won't retreat. If he does, Ciel will keep associating every kind of contact from him and from everyone else with fear and abuse.

That is why he doesn't get up. He just hugs Ciel's legs, like he did with Claude so many years ago.] It's alright. [He murmurs, and he places a soft, gentle, soothing kiss on Ciel's hip, over his clothes.] Calm down, there's nothing to be afraid of. [It's almost the same tone he uses to calm Luca during his nightly terrors.]

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What do you want from me?! What's the point of all this, Alois?! What makes you think doing any of this will help anything or change how I feel?!

I don't know how you feel. [He looks away.] You never told me. [He's trembling a bit now.] I just want you, Ciel. I want to be one with you again, like we once were. Wouldn't it be amazing if our souls could be that close again? [There's a little sad smile on his lips now.]

Edited 2012-01-11 02:54 (UTC)

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Why should I tell anyone anything? Especially you? I don't have any need for frilly feelings like you do and I'm not about to start trying to have them now over anything.

My soul is my soul, it's not meant to belong to anyone, not anymore. No one will see it, touch it, hurt it- you curse me like that, remember? That's how it'll stay.

You should tell me because I care to hear about it. [Alois gets up, and walks closer to Ciel.] How could I hurt your soul? I'm not Sebastian. [It repulses it to even say that name.] I have a soul just like you do. [And because Alois never learns from his mistakes, he takes Ciel's hand, and rubs his cheek against it.] I know you don't care to hear about my feelings, but I can show them in many ways. Not just with words [He places a kiss on Ciel's hand. Very gentle, very warm. Just like Alois feels right now.] Like this. Can you guess what feeling this is?

Edited 2012-01-11 03:11 (UTC)