[ If Hei could read minds, he'd tell Pavel that his past, the shadow-world he belongs to, isn't a doorway worth entering. Intelligent, educated people usually get to choose the world they immerse themselves in. But Pavel, whatever morally defensible motivations he claims to have for treading into Hei's mind, is innocent of the realities. He's idealistic, and Hei can't blame him for that, because that's how he was brought up -- how he is. But fuck all if he's going to let the young man get sucked into a dimension that robs you of your freedom to say No forever. Hei's whole ethos revolves around allowing people to make their own choices, to point out the direction of their own lives. A confusing message, if your purview is deception. But that's not what it's about. Hei's seen the other side of the coin -- the coercion and blackmail of the Syndicate. If he can help it, he'll keep anyone else from sinking into it too. ]
[ His lips twitch at Pavel's words, wry rather than rueful. Hei knows better than to expect a day without bitterness. You can't put psychic fragments back together. Can't fix things because that's not how they work. Functionality is good enough. Refusing to be erased, trampled, defeated? Even better. ]
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[ His lips twitch at Pavel's words, wry rather than rueful. Hei knows better than to expect a day without bitterness. You can't put psychic fragments back together. Can't fix things because that's not how they work. Functionality is good enough. Refusing to be erased, trampled, defeated? Even better. ]
Or live. Back home, that's just as good.