(no subject)

[ronderotarel.livejournal.com]

When; December 15
Rating; PG
Characters; Alois Trancy ronderotarel and Ciel Phantomhive eidoloncast
Summary; Alois said some bad things to Ciel. He's going to apologize.
Log;


Right now, Alois really feels nothing more than a little kid. It's unlike him to feel this way. Despite all his insecurities, he's always had a confident way of carrying himself. But not now. Shame makes him lower his gaze and hunch his shoulders.
He said terrible things to Ciel, and he wants to apologize. Granted, Ciel wasn't nice to him either, but Alois' self-esteem is so low right now he feels like Ciel has all the right to treat him like the dirt he is. He claims to hate Sebastian because he's a mocking bastard who hurts people with his stupid witty comments, but how has he proved of being any better? It's probably terribly hard for Ciel to accept he's been left all alone in this city and that Sebastian isn't coming to get him. Now Alois understands why he got so mad when he invited all those people over or when he tried to force him into being cheerful. He won't make the same mistake twice.
He'd want Ciel to open up to him. He'd do his best to comfort him if he did, but he knows it won't happen. Ciel's pride prevents him from showing weakness.
That is why Alois isn't looking for an apology when he walks in Ciel's study. He doesn't want to force Ciel to be someone he's not.

"Ciel-- "

Comments

[eidoloncast.livejournal.com]

Frankly, he's not terribly angry still and he's not sat around moping thinking of ways to apologize because he wont; and, he feels completely justified in everything he's said so far. He's quiet when Alois says his name and doesn't respond () for several minutes.

And he just stares at him finally when he picks up a book marker and puts it in between the pages so he won't lose his place.

He has a feeling Alois will either apologize to him or come seeking comfort for his own sadness -- or possibly both. He's so predictable. But that's to be expected. He couldn't survive on his own anymore. Alois has forgotten the strength he had as a much younger boy because he lost his reason for becoming strong. How sad that must be.

To not know how to find your own strength.

[ronderotarel.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry [He says it immediately, without hesitation. Unlike Ciel, Alois is not a slave of his pride. He very well knows when there's the need to show some vulnerability. But it seems vulnerability is something Ciel is terribly afraid of. Both in himself and in other people. That is why Alois will try his best not to cry or lose his composure. He doesn't want to scare Ciel.]

I'm sorry for the things I said to you. I didn't mean them. I was just mad. I'm really sorry.

[eidoloncast.livejournal.com]

[]

It's fine. Do not grovel, it irritates me.

[ronderotarel.livejournal.com]

[Oh, but Alois is very much into groveling when he feels there is a need to.] I remember the things I saw in your mind. I know you suffered too, and I'll never ever say again that you didn't. [He reaches out with one hand and calmly strokes Ciel's hair. Just like he did the first time he met him, right before licking his ear. But those are not his intentions right now. He's being sincerely affectionate because that's how he is when he feels really guilty. If Claude were in Ciel's place, Alois would already be hugging his leg.]