you're glue and i'm a bad idea

[anatural]

When; Saturday afternoon
Rating; R
Characters; Chekov (candothat), Korra anatural) and Hei (mortemscintilla)
Summary; Both Korra and Chekov have superpowers this weekend. Chekov has the ability to superglue anything, and Korra? Has the magical ability to make the people around her make really bad choices.

So they decide to pull a prank on Hei.

Log; [Korra waits in the park for Chekov to arrive. They don't have any plans for today, just spend some time together and have fun. It's been awhile since they've just had fun.]

Comments

[candothat]

[Chekov knows how this is going to go.]

Korra, Korra. Subtlety.

[He moves between her and the door. It only takes a few moments for it to click open. Chekov puts the tool he used--it looks more like a pen than anything else--on the doorknob to free his hands up.]

See? After you.

[anatural]

Right. Subtlety.

[She's not very good at that. She also doesn't consider that Hei might have traps. She's just about ready to step through the door --]

[candothat]

Wait!

[He almost grabs her, but thinks better of it. How could he have overlooked Hei's paranoia? (Must be an off day.)]

Don't go. There may be... ah, additional security measures in place.

[Chekov moves past her and takes in the apartment's layout.]

Korra? Can you lift me up so I can reach the ceiling without stepping inside?

[anatural]

[Can she lift him up? Puhleeze, she could lift him up there with just one foot. Her ability to do so isn't the question.]

How's that going to help?

[candothat]

Most people don't think to place sensors on the ceiling.

[God, this is stupid. Unfortunately, that thought doesn't occur to Chekov. He's busy trying to determine where Hei would keep some kind of security override.]

[anatural]

Yeah, but what are you going to do up there?

[she asks even as she lifts him up]

[candothat]

I'm going to go across the ceiling and disable any security measures, and then you can come in.

[Simple! With the lift, he's able to press both hands to the ceiling. Only one sticks (he hasn't figured out exactly what rules this power follows), but that's enough. Chekov pulls away from Korra, curls as much as he can (best to stay small when dealing someone as paranoid as Hei), and puts one hand in front of the other. It causes some significant arm strain--a small price to pay for the brilliance of this prank.

It's a struggle, but Chekov makes it to the kitchen. Putting his free hand on top of the fridge frees him from the ceiling. Manual overrides are usually kept in plain sight at the Academy and on starships, but Hei wouldn't be so casual. From his position on top of the refrigerator, the Russian opens the doors and, hooking his feet on one side so he doesn't fall, looks through its contents. Where else would a paranoid assassin who loves food keep something important?

Aaand there--moving aside the ice cream with the back of one hand (he has to keep reminding himself to be careful about what he touches), he finds a standard push-button control pad. Now all he has to do is determine Hei's code from a very uncomfortable half-upside down position, keeping in mind that his fingers will stick to the key pad.]

Korra? [He wouldn't put it past her to get impatient.] Stay where you are, please. I can do this, but it will take a moment.

[And begin. Chekov's pleased that his hacking skills, breaking-and-entering skills, flexibility, and strength training have all proved themselves handy today. His mother would be so proud.

Well. Maybe not.]

[anatural]

[Woah. Korra watches, impressed, as Chekov makes his way across the apartment. But then he's out of sight, and the longer he's out of sight, the more antsy Korra gets.

She is actually about to step into the apartment to check on him when he speaks.]

FINE.

[She looks around, hoping none of the neighbors come by. (Like that kid, ugh.)

Or Hei. If Hei came home, they'd be in big trouble.]

[candothat]

[Don't worry, Korra, it doesn't take long. The security system deactivates with a chirrup and Chekov cautiously climbs off of the refrigerator. When he isn't eviscerated or otherwise maimed, he calls to Korra.]

You can come in now, but he careful.

[anatural]

[Korra quickly steps inside and closes the door. No neighbors. Sweet relief. She looks around the apartment. Very little has changed since the last time she was here. She swings by the cage to say hi to Imugi.]

So. How do we do this?

[candothat]

Quickly and carefully.

[Okay, so that wasn't really an answer, but it's true.]

I can't touch anything without sticking. [Said as he idly adheres a kitchen utensil to the counter.] What can you lift?

[anatural]

Whatever you need me to. [Hei doesn't have much stuff, and it all looks light enough.]

Imugi stays on the ground, though. [She doesn't want anything happening to the lizard.]

[candothat]

That works. We want to upset Hei, not Imugi.

[And so the lizard stays. Everything else that Korra can lift to the ceiling, however, goes. It's an arduous process--largely because Chekov insists on arranging things on the ceiling exactly as they would be arranged on the ground.

When the last piece they've singled out is in place, Chekov surveys their work.]

All in all, I'm pleased.

[anatural]

[Korra wipes the sweat off her brow and grins.]

Not bad. We should probably get out of here before he comes home, though. [A part of her is surprised Hei hasn't burst in already.]

[candothat]

As much as I would like to see his reaction, I agree. When does your work shift begin?

[Chekov is somewhat surprised, too, but he won't frown on good fortune. He shoos Korra out and carefully reengages the door's lock (and briefly finds himself stuck to the door, but, with any luck, Korra didn't see that). There's no way to turn the security system back on without another stroll across the ceiling.]

[anatural]

Uh... [She glances out the window.] Another couple of hours, I think. But we can always swing by there early. Bartender says we just got in some pretty good wodka.

[candothat]

In spite of your mockery, I wouldn't refuse w-wvvvodka.

[He tried.]

Come on--before Hei finds us.

[anatural]

[Korra punches his arm gently and leads the way to the bar.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Those goddamn kids. ]

[ In the hazy blue light of his safe-house's monitors, Hei watches the feed to his apartment in real-time. The break-in, the efficient deactivation of his security system, the tetris-like manner in which Korra and Pavel glue his possessions to the ceiling. For a full three minutes, it's not hesitance but incredulity that stops him from hitting the switch to the secondary security system -- and letting the blades rigged in the walls shred them to salad. ]

[ But what stays his hand, ultimately, is the icy acid wash of anger. Knives are too lenient a punishment. ]

[ That they're cursed is clear enough. But their minds aren't impaired -- at least he doesn't think so. This entire prank seems premeditated in the way only teenagers with too much time and resource on their hands could manage. He's given them a long leash so far. He's restrained himself from heading Topside and catching them In flagrante delicto. But playtime is over. ]

[ He watches attentively as they exit the flat, heading for the bar where Korra works. Once he's estimated they've reached it, he drifts there too. But he's not empty-handed. At a rooftop directly over the bar's entrance, he sets up a tripod, a battery pack, a collection of lenses, and what looks like a Nikon camera. But it's not a camera at all. It's a portable ADS -- an Active Denial System. Shooting electromagnetic radiation at 95 gigahertz, it boils the moisture off skin, but only at 1/64th of an inch. Hurts like a bitch -- feels like your skin is on fire -- but it leaves no lasting damage. ]

[ Hei adjusts the frequency so it can pass through the bar's open window. Then switches the device on. ]

[ He wants the patrons -- and Korra and Pavel -- in a state of agonized panic before he slips in. ]

[candothat]

[Hei barely gives Chekov time to enjoy a few sips of his drink.

The burning sensation comes out of nowhere, with no warning. Chekov drops his drink reflexively (a waste of good vodka--not that he's of a mind to lament that at the moment), but manages to remain relatively calm. Nothing appears out of sorts in the bar, but--

But it's easy to miss details when it feels like you're burning alive.]

[anatural]

Chekov! [She chokes out his name, her hands gripping the bar as her flesh burns. Everywhere around her, patrons and coworkers alike are collapsed over in pain. She forces herself to breathe deeply and keep her cool. Whatever's causing this, she needs to find it and stop it.

You'd be surprised to know, Hei, that she doesn't suspect you at all. It's not going to be a pleasant revelation.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Through his modified binoculars, Hei watches the ripples of chaos spread through the bar. He's familiar with the effects of the ADS -- the sensation as if you've touched a burning lightbulb, not with your fingertips but your whole body. The mind is quickly trapped in a void between contradictory signals -- you're on fire but you can see no flames. It paralyzes you. He can't hear the commotion, but he can see the patrons lurching and rolling around on the floor, mouths wide open. If someone can scream silently, then they're screaming with their whole body-language. ]

[ He keeps the device on for another moment -- exactly five seconds -- then switches it off. ]

[ It takes less than twenty seconds for him to swing by a wire off the roof, and slip unnoticed into the bar. The air vibrates with the after-echo of a dozen agonized howls, a few still in the midst of petering out. He ignores the patrons slumped over on chairs and tables and the floor, zoning in on Korra and Pavel. ]

[ Grabbing them both by the scruffs of their necks, he hauls them bodily into the backroom. ]

Hello, Ceiling Cats.

[candothat]

[Even after the sensation stops, it takes Chekov a moment to ascertain that no one is actually on fire and to collect his thoughts thoroughly enough to remember how words work.]

Horoso. [No, wait.] Fine. What--?

[The question trails off into a startled yelp as Hei seizes them. The teenager misses the cultural reference, but the tone in Hei's voice is distinctly murderous.]

That was unnecessary.

[He's referring to whatever it is that happened in the bar. Considering Hei's mood (it was just a joke), it only makes sense that he would be the culprit. (Someone with better judgment might remain quiet but, thanks to Korra, decent judgment is out of the realm of probability.)]

[anatural]

[Korra snarls and grabs the hand clutching the back of her neck, digging her nails in hard. With the way he's dragging them, it takes her a bit to find her footing; once she does, she hooks her ankle around Hei's to trip him up.]

What do you think you're doing?!?!

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei doesn't respond to Pavel's words, or to Korra's feral clawing. His footsteps echo off the concrete corridor and down a short flight of stairs, to a narrow room where a bare bulb dangles from the ceiling, throwing a gloomy umbra of yellow on crates of wine and shards of broken furniture. When Korra tries to trip him, he shifts his weight, his grip tight and locked with a tension and fluidity above the elbows. He offers no warning before he moves -- lightning-fast -- slamming them both back-first against the closest wall, hands at their throats. ]

[ His rage is a slow-boiling thing, all venom and ice, but in the silence as he takes them in, all he does is blink. ]

[ The gears of his mind are shifting, past the initial plan of a light zap and a few threats, to something altogether uglier. It happens so smoothly, so naturally, that he doesn't even notice anything wrong. ]

Who wants to go first? [ he asks, and his tone is mild, bordering on conversational, despite the chill in his eyes. ]