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I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
When; January 4th
Rating; PG for now
Characters; Chakotay![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
chakotay & Kathryn Janeway directives
Summary; Voyager's command team deals with the mistletoe curse... a long time later
Log;
He'd meant to stop by earlier, a day or so ago, but with things going the way they'd been, he hadn't had a chance. He'd intended to give her a few days to cool off, so she wouldn't greet his face with a burst of embarrassment disguised as professionalism. Well, he's wearing his uniform only today, as a sign that he's not taking anything that happened between them under the mistletoe too seriously. Cold it might be, but the symbol of strength he needs to show now is more important. Hallucination or not, that wolf had been right about some things. He and Kathryn needed to remain a team. Whatever happens with their personal lives needs to be set aside in the face of a situation their command relationship needs to take care of. And everything involving the City falls under that category. At least for now.
So that's why he's entering the labs now and looking around for her. He'd picked up a small pocketwatch on a chain, something that could sit in a pocket or be tied on a belt loop and not be in her way but would still provide a better and easier way to tell time than constantly looking around for a clock. And it could, hopefully, be a symbol of the time they'll have to get their relationship back on track. Their command relationship, at least. He'll always be there for her, through time and beyond. She will never again be alone.
Rating; PG for now
Characters; Chakotay
chakotay & Kathryn Janeway directivesSummary; Voyager's command team deals with the mistletoe curse... a long time later
Log;
He'd meant to stop by earlier, a day or so ago, but with things going the way they'd been, he hadn't had a chance. He'd intended to give her a few days to cool off, so she wouldn't greet his face with a burst of embarrassment disguised as professionalism. Well, he's wearing his uniform only today, as a sign that he's not taking anything that happened between them under the mistletoe too seriously. Cold it might be, but the symbol of strength he needs to show now is more important. Hallucination or not, that wolf had been right about some things. He and Kathryn needed to remain a team. Whatever happens with their personal lives needs to be set aside in the face of a situation their command relationship needs to take care of. And everything involving the City falls under that category. At least for now.
So that's why he's entering the labs now and looking around for her. He'd picked up a small pocketwatch on a chain, something that could sit in a pocket or be tied on a belt loop and not be in her way but would still provide a better and easier way to tell time than constantly looking around for a clock. And it could, hopefully, be a symbol of the time they'll have to get their relationship back on track. Their command relationship, at least. He'll always be there for her, through time and beyond. She will never again be alone.
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The last thing she expected to find when she looked up from her laptop's screen was him. She'd been giving him his space and fully intended to allow him a bit more before her position forced her to work around personal discomforts and confront him. She was hoping he'd take it upon himself to come around when he was ready, she just hadn't expected him to do it so soon.
Or in uniform; especially since she wasn't wearing hers.
"Commander."
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He was, however, nervous. Extremely so. And trying not to show it as he stopped near enough to offer her the pocketwatch.
"I know we don't usually do anything for a holiday that means very little to us, but I thought it would be a good symbol of our command structure." He offered a gentle smile, trying to push past his nerves and do what needs to be done. "Besides that, it makes for a good time piece."
In his defense, at least he doesn't remember the last time he gave her that and this time isn't her birthday.
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She isn't quite sure what to make of the offering. It's lovely, yes, but not something she'd consider her style. Knowing Chakotay, though, there's probably some deeper meaning to all of this. He picked this out deliberately, acknowledging a holiday that has nothing to do with his Terran ancestors or the planet he was raised on, intending on utilizing this gift to convey something she couldn't quite see just yet in regards to their command structure.
Admittedly, she's been concerned about the status of it for weeks, but patient enough to give him the time he needed to sort through feelings that, she knows, are very personal for him. For he's not like her, not made of stone when necessary, able to box up and shelve potential, shut away experiences that should've never taken place. She knows that he's very aware of the fact that had it not been for the mistletoe, she would've never crossed that line.
"Forgive me if I'm not too clear on what you're trying to convey here." With the watch. She picks it up, fingers the intricate design decorating the edge of it.
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He loves her. They both know it, and even though they also both know that she can't give him what he really wants, or isn't ready to, the important thing is that they stand together as a command team. They may only have two crewmembers here besides themselves, but even if it were just the two of them, they would need to be united. It's how they have always worked and they do better as individuals if their relationship isn't tarnished. Moving beyond what happened under the mistletoe might be more difficult for him, but he knows what he has to do, for the sake of the crew and for her.
He would do anything for her. And maybe that wolf hallucination was right about a few other things, too.
Thanks, Q.no subject
She had feared he wouldn't see it that way, that being given a forbidden taste of her and what could be would have dire consequences. Harry would make a fine interim First Officer, as B'Elanna had made it clear that while capable, she didn't want the job – which is why she'd left Harry with the honor of holding Tuvok's position as Second Officer while they were stuck in this godforsaken place. But neither of them had the ability to stand up to her in the way Chakotay did. Kathryn knew she could be overbearing, intense, and intimidate people to the point that they were afraid to tell her what she needed to hear instead of what she wanted to hear. She didn't need that; she needs someone who's not afraid to tell her she's wrong, to tell her to stop, to share information with her that she'll none too happy to hear – someone who could read her and understand her command decisions without the need to verbally explain herself.
Nobody was quite as good at doing that as Chakotay was. Not even Tuvok.
When it came down to it, she needed him for as a First Officer than she did a friend, though she would like to have both. She could live with only having one, and she believes he finally understands which one she'd pick and why.
Later, she'll wonder how he managed to come to that conclusion when all signs were pointing otherwise, but right now, she's simply glad that he has. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
"I'm working on our lack of a transporter problem," she says after a moment, still holding on to the watch. "We were looking at it the wrong way, trying to replicate our level of technology from components that would take months to modify, if at all. So, instead of trying to duplicate 24th Century transporter technology, I'm going to try and make something a little closer to what was on the NX-01."
Q had provided her with PADDs full of data, accessible in twenty-four hour bursts. She'd copied down what she felt was relevant, pages upon pages of notes that were now scattered across her work area.
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And, okay, part of that had come from his drunken conversation with the wolf hallucination, but it had only strengthened what he had come to realize anyway. In order for him to be the support she absolutely needed, the pillar of strength he wanted to be for her, he had to let go of the small hope he'd been clinging to that they could be anything other than what they were. Her reaction to the kiss had told him they never would be anything else.
"Sounds like a good change," he answers. "Care to have help or is this one of those projects you'd rather do on your own?"
He's smiling again, offering her an expression free of worry, of fear, of anything other than what he always gives her when they're both in good enough moods to dictate it: respect and friendship. He's her First Officer, but he also wants to be her friend. That's how they've always worked together and he doesn't want that to change.
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"Something tells me I could use your organization skills." Kathryn laughed, because her notes really were everywhere. Just like her PADDs ended up on her desk if she were left alone with them for too long or deep into some new project or mission she was obsessing over.
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He really was overdue to be working on something in here. He'd been avoiding everyone and everything for the last few days, so to be put to work in any capacity would be nice, but especially if she would. Then he would know for sure, even more than the laughing and gentle teasing, that their relationship was back on track.
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"Be my guest." Kathryn plucked her laptop off the desk, carrying it over to one of the counters.
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"Something tells me you might want to invest in a good secretary someday."
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Joking, teasing, laughing — she missed this, the ease of conversation between the two of them. Especially his friendship. She was so afraid that she'd lost it when the mistletoe forced her to kiss him, to cross that invisible line she couldn't cross and gave him a taste of something he might never have. That cruel twist of cursed fate almost took him from her, and she's thankful for the opportunity to overcome that obstacle and keep him at her side.
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"Does that mean I get an official position as your liaison?" Because everyone knew he was the buffer between her and everyone else when she got too worked up. "If I do become your secretary, you'll need to find a replacement for your First Officer and I don't think you'll want to hold auditions in the middle of the Delta Quadrant. Next thing you know, Neelix will jump for the job." And as much as Neelix has become an integral part of their crew, no one wants him in a real command position. He doesn't have the training or the understanding of Starfleet rules and regulations to play the part in a way as unbiased as it often requires.
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The little girl was oddly more capable of doing that job than Neelix, but the Talaaxian was better suited to the various roles he was already playing aboard their ship. He was irreplaceable, valuable in ways she was certain she hadn't made fully clear to him before. It was something to add to her to do list when they got back to Voyager, if they remembered the experience of being here.
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He's completely joking about that. If anyone even suggested more duties to the little girl, she would be very happy to carry them out. She's always wanted things to do, a place on the ship, and to feel useful. Neelix is useful enough where he is, in a perfect position for his skillset and no one would change it.
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Though they both know there's only so much of the EMH sitting in the chair to her left that she'd be able to take before she banished him back to sickbay.
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"If you do that, I have a feeling half of the alpha shift bridge crew will be defecting to beta or gamma."
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She's kidding, of course. But if someone was better suited to alpha shift, they were damned well staying on it unless they gave her a good reason for the move. And being annoyed by the Doctor is hardly a reason. If it were, Tom would've wormed his way out of his sickbay duties years ago.
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