tampered | You almost wish you could forget it all {CLOSED}

[ Akito’s arms had wrapped around Ikki’s arm, holding onto it tightly, refusing to let go despite any-- struggling that might have happened. Not that it would, at this point. As soon as they stepped in front of the electronics shop however-- he moved one of his arms down, the palm of his right hand pressing into Ikki’s left while his fingers curled in between the other’s own.

Because obviously, holding Ikki’s hand was the best of things to do at this point. It was much easier to tug him along that way, at least. ]

Mm’! Ikki’s phone doesn’t work here, right? So, we need to get you another.

[ Tug, tug. It's time to go in now, Ikki. ]

( there had been a considerable amount of struggling at first, but in the end, it was all ultimately futile. akito was his barnacle, or at least for tonight. that weird bastard!! he, at the very least, refused to hold onto akito's hand, just letting his fingers dangle uselessly in his grip. )

Yeah, but I guess that makes sen—Urwaaagh!!

( okay, okay, he was going to give a full answer to him, but apparently that wasn't a part of akito's gameplan for today! )

Damn! You gotta let a guy talk!

[ that's fine, Ikki. Akito doesn't need you to hold onto his hand, he's plenty happy just being able to hold onto the other's without-- yelling and attempts to toss his hand away. ]

Did you need to say something, Ikki?

[ a pause. while his eyes shifted down to that hand that wasn't quite holding onto his. well, he was going to get Ikki his own phone, right? that. that deserved hand-holding. should he-- no, not yet. ]

You can pick out whichever you want! I have plenty to cover it.

( but you do realise that it really won't take much before ikki starts to struggle and fight to get away, maybe even start gnawing on his arm like a horrible parody of a certain cartoon.

but. wait what. )

Wai—What?

Uuuh, Akito. ( awkwardly, he lifts a hand to scratch the back of his head as he glances down towards him. he should be spending that money on himself! )

You don't have to buy me a phone. I've got this device thing already.

No, Ikki. You need a phone, too.

[ this is a very serious tone, coming from a very serious shark. ]

What if something happens, and the network shuts down? What are you going to do then, if we really need you? Or, what if your device breaks?

[ tug, tug. he's not leaving until Ikki gets some sort of phone. or radio. or, well, just something like that. ]

. . .

( god, deja vu. wasn't this how he originally wound up that flip-phone that he had back in the real world. the fuck is this. )

Okay, then I'll just buy one with my own money.

( he starts to tug his hand away from akito's grasp. )

Lemme have my hand back.

[ he lets go of Ikki’s hand at the tugs, just lets his own fall back to his side. ]

It’s okay, Ikki! I’ve saved up for months. I wanted to get it for you on White Day, but-- haha, it was a bit harder to move then.

Can I get it for you? As a gift?

No, look, I got—

( he stops abruptly as he shoves his hands into his pockets to realise that there was nothing in there but lint and what was probably a gum wrapper. that's right, he hasn't earned a single yen since he got here. actually, what did they do for money? yen? dollars? gold doubloons?

fuck fuck fuck. )

Uuh, yeah. Okay.

But do me one favour?

[ good, good. the agreement brings a smile to Akito's lips. there wasn't much he could do here, no- but buying Ikki a phone was never a problem.

so he steps forward, moves his hand out to Ikki's once more-- but stops mid-way. drops it again. ]

What is it?

Don't buy me any White Day gifts.

( that's it. that's all he wants. )

Okay.

[ White Day already passed, there was no need to deny it. he just wanted to get the phone for it, and they were getting it now, so. ]

That means ever.

( staring at him a little. )

. . .Or Valentine's. None of that.

Edited 2012-03-18 08:16 (UTC)

Why not?

I shouldn't be the person to get those from you. ( wave of the hand. )

OK? ( then he extends a hand towards him, waiting for him to take it. )

..okay, Ikki.

[ there's no argument. no voicing against it, no speaking up about how no-- Ikki is the person he wants to gives those sorts of things to. ]

[ instead, Akito just reaches forward, and puts his hand back into Ikki's own. ]

( this time he curls his fingers around akito's. )

Good!

[ oh, hey. mutual hand holding. that's nice, and-- it cheers him back up pretty fast. another few steps forward, back towards the phones. ]

Mm'!

--.. we should probably get Ikki a phone that's easy to operate, right?

Just pick one out. It's your money, dude.

( permission granted: drag him around. )

Noo! Ikki has to like it!

[ huff, huff. Akito goes to do just that, though. he holds on tightly to that hand(or, his version of tight) and drags Ikki around the store, making stops at a few of the phones on display with brief comments about them before deciding-- no, not these, and moving on to the next.

without even asking Ikki's opinions, despite his urging Ikki to pick out his own. eventually, he stops at one that looks pretty easy to use, durable, and-- nice looking, then holds it out to Ikki. ]

This?

It's just a phone! Who caaaaaaaaaaaaares.

( he really only offers the passing grumbles about the various phones, vaguely uninterested in the whole deal. all he needed was a phone that worked and wouldn't break easily.

so, he just lets akito drag him around and make grunts to convey his opinions on phones.

up until he gets to this one and ikki decides he's really sick of being here. )

That one.

Edited 2012-03-18 08:51 (UTC)

[ that gets a nice, pleasant smile on Akito's lips. even if Ikki wasn't that enthusiastic over it, Akito's definitely excited. ]

Okay!

[ making sure to keep Ikki's hand tight in his own, he bends down, grabs onto one of the phone boxes, then walks over to the desk to pay for it. the conversation isn't anything special, and throughout the entire process, his hand keeps it's hold on Ikki's.

once Akito's done, he drags Ikki out of the store, and turns towards him. ]

We can fix it back home later. Is there anywhere you want to go?

( the entire ordeal is spent with ikki towering behind him, muttering complaints and generally just whining about how much time it was taking to get all of this done. he only shuts up after akito drags him out the store, new phone sitting safely in the new bag added to his free arm. )

Nooooo? This was your day, dude. Since we couldn't go out on your birthday. ( he gestures to akito's chest to imply the reason, despite the fact that he already damn well knows. )

I went everywhere I wanted to go already! Should we just go back, then?

[ he can't think of anything else he needs to do today. they had gotten everything he needed, and--

well okay, maybe there's one thing. Akito tugs on Ikki's hand, tries to get him to walk towards the ice cream shop. ]

After ice cream?

Fuck no. Ice cream comes first.

( it takes no effort to get him to follow again after him, more than willing to go as far as necessary to acquire some sweet sweet ice cream.

then he pauses. )

Hey, Akito?

[ he's glad he's got Ikki to agree on that-- yes, ice cream is the most important, always.

when Ikki speaks up, Akito tilts his head back, to look over to him. ]

Hm'?

Do you like it here?

( he needs to know. )

I--

[ no, no he didn't. anyone could disappear, at any time-- there was the fear of that, the fear of being left behind, of each and every curse that might get words out of others he never wanted to hear, or other, much worse things. then, the blocked off sky. the barrier keeping them all caged inside.

his hand grips harder onto ikki's own, holds it tightly while he stops walking. ]

..no, I don't like it here. But it's okay, because Ikki's still here.

--ahh', no, that's wrong. It'd be better for Ikki back home.

[ without another word, he starts walking towards the ice cream shop again. ]

( that's a considerably strange answer, although not entirely unexpected. there was nothing comforting about this place, nothing that reminded them of home. they were still underneath the same sky, he can feel it in his bones.

but he stops, forcing akito to stop with him. )

Wait. Stop.

[ when Ikki stops, so does Akito- not that it's surprising, considering he was being forced to stop, but. still, he turns himself around, raises his free hand up- then drops it back down. whatever had been planned for that was decided against. ]

What?

( he tugs his hand away from akito then, refusing to allow anything distract either of them away from the conversation at hand. he isn't entirely comfortable with these subjects, but it doesn't matter.

right this, they needed to talk. )

Tell me your answer again.

[ he's more than a little disappointed as their hands separate. it wasn't often(no, rarely) he got to touch Ikki like that without getting pushed or shoved away. but he keeps quiet about it. Ikki was asking him to do something. ]

I said I don't like it here. I never realized how much I dislike it here-- until Ikki disappeared like that. Kazu, Agito, and I were fine on our own. We watched out for each other, made sure we got through curses that were particularly bad together- normally, at least. But Ikki came and I--

[ deep breaths, Akito. this isn't the best of places to discuss these sorts of things, no. he looks down to the ground, at Ikki's shoes. ] I thought everything was going to get fixed. That we would be able to find a way out of here, to avoid curses entirely. I thought Ikki would save us- and I know that this place has things working behind it that it would be hard for even the most powerful manga character to break through-- I mean we've run into some pretty powerful beings, right? But I still thought that-- with Ikki here, we'd be okay. Ikki wouldn't leave us alone here. It was okay here, it didn't get too bad, we all got through it fine. We've all made new friends, and on an average day, I can't complain about being here.

-then you disappeared, and I realized that this whole place is awful. At any second, you could disappear and not come back. Kazu, Papa, Akira, and Gazelle, too. Agito and I will always be together, so I'm-- I'm not that worried about being left all by myself. But it's still painful to think about. How we're locked here in this huge cage, surrounded by others who could be capable of anything, and just waiting for the next horrible curse to pass over.

[ he's realized long ago that he's just mumbling on now, but that doesn't stop him from going on. ] I can't like it here anymore. Not when they've trapped Ikki, too. Ikki doesn't belong here. Ikki needs to be back home, where he can fly freely. At the same time, I really really really don't want you to leave us behind again like that, but- if you did, I wouldn't be upset. Or, I would, but--

Akito.

( he tries at first, but the words just keep coming. )

AKITO.

( no, no such luck. only one solution to turn to now. he slaps him on the back, palm coming down hard and swift. )

Shut up for a second.

[ the hit lands, but instead of akito shutting up in response to it, he stumbles a few steps forward, and presses against Ikki's chest. his fingers curl around his shirt, gripping on hard while his face rests against his lower chest. ]

--I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to disappear forever without me being able to tell you so many things but here seems like the weirdest of places to tell you. There's no real reason to, aside from-- I'm scared you'll never know. That you'll go back home, I'll still be there like I never left in the first place and things will go in a way that makes me unable to say it out loud.

Or maybe I will-- but what if that me isn't really 'me'? What if that person is a different me, and that's why time keeps going on and on without us noticing it? Like how Kazu came here first from a time way before Agito and I. Maybe we're not even real. Maybe home isn't real. Maybe nothing's real and--!

..but, Ikki-- Iloveyou, you know? I know you'll never, ever return it because you like girls and not boys like me, butIjustwantedyoutoknow that I really do! More than each of the stars in the sky, I really love you. [ he pauses, shoulders trembling. ] I'll-- I'll try not to bother you much, okay? Iwon'tevenkissyouanymoreifyoudon'twantmeto. But I just, Ineededtosayit, so you wouldn't disappear again without knowing.

[ --then he stops. finally. takes a deep breath, tries to curl himself closer to Ikki. ]

Akito—

( he starts, but the words die in his throat as akito continues on. he's babbling, words falling out of his mouth in a steady stream and every line just makes ikki more and more uncomfortable. he doesn't want to discuss this, he doesn't want this out in the open, he doesn't want to hear akito actually say these things. voicing it makes it real, grounds it to reality and spreads it out into the wind where it becomes something that he must deal with. he's never known how to handle his affections, regularly refusing to take them serious. for a moment, he's left stricken dumb, hands clenching at his sides and opening his mouth once more to say something—anything—to stop this before it's too late. )

Ah.

( ah? ah? ahhh? that's all that comes it? that's it? nothing else comes out, throat seizing in a moment of clear panic. it's written all over his face, bleeds into his stance—the clenched fists, the stiff shoulders, and the sudden refusal to look at him. he stares straight ahead, looking into the window of some useless and unimportant shop across the street. anything but akito, anywhere but at the boy clinging to his shirt and pouring out his heart to him on the street. he had so much to say before, about getting out of here, about what matters, but there was this and this was so much important. the other things could wait, wait until time when it's relevant, but this had to be handled now. a million things come to mind for him to say, anything better than a simple "ah", but what comes out is— )

I'm sorry. ( it's so quiet that he's almost sure he hadn't said anything at all. )

It's okay.

[ he speaks just as quietly, fingers trembling as he grips onto that shirt even harder than before. rejection, akito knew this conversation was going to head in that direction. there's no way ikki would suddenly come to accept him, lift him off his feet and give akito the fluffy, flowery happily ever after that happens in his daydreams.

that doesn't mean he likes it any better, though. akito makes sure to keep his face hidden. the downturn of his lips, the way his eyes squeeze shut- things he doesn't want ikki to notice, not now. ]

It's okay, Ikki.

[ yes, this definitely wasn't the best place to have this conversation, he realizes. not here, not when he's latching onto ikki with all of these people around- but it's too late to fix that now. instead, he just lets go of ikki's shirt, lets his hands drop down to his sides, and-- moves to turn around. ]

I'll be back later, okay? Kazu can help you set up your phone.

( he almost feels like he can't breathe, his head a mess and everything is happening too fast. this is horrible, this is . . . probably something that was going to happen at some point anyway, but—

still, still, still. he didn't want this, he didn't want to hear it, because he didn't want it to be real and most of all: he didn't want to hurt akito. especially not like this.

he sucks in a deep breath, making an audible 'wooooo' noise. )

Tch, no. It's not okay.

( reaching out, he grabs onto the shoulder of akito's shirt, fingers tightly holding onto the fabric. )

You're not going anywhere either. Okay? So listen up.

[ akito's this close to walking away, to turning his back on ikki and going off somewhere to cool down for a while. this hadn't been on his original day plan, no- it wasn't on his day plan at all. or, week plan, monthly plans, nothing. sometime, he had to say it-- akito knew that. that if ikki disappeared again and never came back, he'd spend the rest of his time here regretting it.

now that it was out, akito's pretty sure he regrets saying it, too. still, as ikki grabs onto his shirt, he just stands still for a moment, bracing himself. wills away the urge to shove away or- make the most pathetic of faces, and instead just turns himself back around as best as he could, to face ikki. ]

Okay. I'm listening.

( he sighs, letting go of akito in favour of stepping back for a second. his hand lifts to the back of his head, awkwardly scratching at the hair and the bird sleeping there. kuu doesn't pay him any mind, instead opting for completely ignoring him and his moment of distress. )

Akito. You're a moron. You've got all of this all fucking wrong. None of this is all that simple—not this damned City and not. . . This. I really don't know what to call it.

It's not. . . It's not like I didn't know, because you're about as subtle as a brick wall. It's just that I can't return those feelings to you. It's not about being a boy or a girl or something, it's just how it is, you know? You're Akito, as well as Agito and that other third dude, and you're—

( he kicks at the ground nervously. )

You're one of my best friends. I've always fought alongside you, protected you, taken care of you even if you didn't want it, and I'd lay down my life for you. I've been at your side almost every night since I let you out of your brother's, well father's, cage. I trust you with all that I've got—and goddamnit, I can't give you any more than that. You never had to even ask for my love or whatever. Auugh. It sounds so gross to say that. Damnit.

You'd had that, you fucking idiot. It's just, you know, not like that. But, you've always known that. It's not been a question. So, I don't really get why you're getting down and depressed now. Is it because you're hearing it now? Hearing what you've always known? Because that's stupid. It doesn't change any-damn-thing.

Whatever fucking happens, it's not gonna change. Whatever you do, I will always be right there because we're friends. You're my friend.

That's how it is.

Edited 2012-03-20 06:25 (UTC)

[ there's a moment where akito almost turns away and runs when that hand leaves. he doesn't want to hear it, doesn't want to hear what words ikki might say that would distance them even further.

but there aren't any words like that; rather, they were nice to hear. not as nice as he really wants, no. but all the same, he smiles in response. more than that, there's tears forming in the corners of his eyes. happy tears. akito reaches forward, arms wrapping around ikki's middle to hold him close. ]

Mm', Right! We'll always be friends, no matter what! I'll protect you and take care of you as best as I can, too.

[ he nuzzles against ikki's chest for a moment, before his hands moved to the front of his shirt once more, and gave a soft tug. ]

Ikki. Can you lean down for a second? I need to tell you a secret.

( a sigh of relief escapes him as he watches the change in akito, his stance relaxing and body loosening up. he wasn't sure at first if he had said the right thing, if he had fucked up and wedged a huge divide between them after all. it's not what he wanted, he just wants things to be the same.

thank everything that this was going to be okay. )

Good, now I won't have to beat it into you.

( he lets cling to him, seeing as it was the normal response for akito in these kind of situations. well, not this per say, but situations where he was happy? or something? but the tug to his shirt demands his attention. )

Ehh? What is it? Why the hell are you keeping secrets, you bastard? ( and so he leans down. )

[ with the most serious of expressions, akito leans up the rest of the way between ikki and himself, like he was going to whisper into his ear-

-then last second, leaned back a bit, to give him a soft kiss on the lips. ]

In America, people give kisses as a way of greeting one another, Ikki. Did you know that?

[ a quiet giggle, as akito leans away. ]

( the kiss immediately teaches him at least three things. number one being that he should never trust akito because he's still a freaking asshole, number two being that things really were okay, and finally, number three being that no, receiving from akito never got any easier.

he sputters at first, jerking back immediately and wiping off his mouth with the back of his sleeve. )

THAT WASN'T A GREETING!! WE HAVE BEEN OUT ALL DAY! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU??

A belated greeting! I didn't give you a kiss this morning!

[ akito takes a few steps back, giving him some distance. reaching out, he holds out his hand towards ikki, fingers extended out and his palm up. ]

Still want to get some ice cream?

I CAN SMELL YOUR LIES AND DECEIT.

( he lifts his hand, palm flat and fingers pointed upwards as in a clear "STOP" before shaking his head. )

Nope! Only the pure of heart can be graced with the hand of the Great Ikki Minami-sama, and your heart is as foul and as dark as the night!!

. . .

( long pause. )

Okay, yeah, let's go get ice-cream.

[ he's just holding his hand out here, and waiting.

quietly, oh so quietly. ]

Okay. Let's go!

Stop holding out your hand, you look stupid!

( moving to walk in step with him and totally taking his hand because whatever!!! it didn't matter!! it was a small thing!

and off they went to the ice cream shop. )

You almost wish you could forget it all {CLOSED}

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