tampered | Are they aliens or robots or humanoids or gods?

Entry tags:

thor (movie) - darcy lewis

Are they aliens or robots or humanoids or gods?

When; SUPER-BACKDATED to June 18, around Darcy's arrival
Rating; PG
Characters; Darcy and Thor. Thor's roommates can come too.
Summary; Darcy had about . . . exactly 5 problems but Thor ain't one of them. Doubly so now that he's offer her a couch to crash in while she can get "OH GOD I'M IN ANOTHER WORLD" issues out of the way. That and finding a place of her own.
Log;

So it turned out Homeless Guy was not what Darcy thought he was. Apparently he's a real, honest-to-God . . . Viking god. Who knew? Darcy sure didn't.

The fact that she took down the god of lightning with a taser was like ten times more hilarious now. That's like seducing the god of love or something. Which made her wonder how the god of thunder fell out of the sky all hammered, pun totally intended.

It had taken her sure enough nearly an hour to figure out the map, mainly because this city was bondafied fucking bonkers and she had no real landmarks. That and there were riots here and there and, in an effort not trying to be arrested, Darcy was forced to take detours here and there. Major pain in the ass, and it made her wish that maybe she could've asked Thor for maybe an escort. His biceps are like the freaking riot police themselves.

Whatever.

She finally managed to get to Thor's apartment. She's at the door, looking down at the bare floor. She got her taser out, fingering it. Would she need it?

She remembered the size of Thor's biceps again, and realized that nah, she wouldn't have any need for the taser. She hoped that's the case, anyway, as she shoved the taser back into her pocket.

Darcy knocked on the door, hoping it will be Thor who will answer.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ And lo and behold, it is Thor who gives answer, friend mop in (grudging) tow, half of whatever's ripped and can be dragged hanging onto his right leg.

...cleaning, he's fairly sure they call it, in some domestic, hired hands' circles that he's made it his princely purpose to never visit. Even so, if they're to while their nights in human company, best see the apartment reduced to some state of -

Odin help him.

- functionality.

And so, in the wake of Long, Arduous, and Anticlimactic Battle, Thor opens the door. And smile. Smile, Thor, it's worked wonders in erasing past failures. Just. Smile. ]

Well met. I feared you would lose yourself.

[ Okay, the sight of Thor with a mop is not one Darcy's been expecting. It takes a great deal of effort on her part not to giggle like a junior high school girl.

But she does crack a smile and raises her hand in greetings. ]

So did I for that matter. But I survived the wild wilderness of the City! Even if it was crawling everywhere with police.

I see you have been fighting a valiant battle.

[ The mop, Thor would like to point out at length and the possible expense of his dignity, is highly useful - why, he's tolerably sure he could potentially signal Asgard with it. Heimdall's got an eye for these things.

For the time, he lets it cradle against the door frame, stepping aside to give Darcy passage. ]

Long, and hard. Yes.

[ There's a nod there, if no smile, because he remembers the kitchen floor horrors, and they will never again let him sleep. ]

The mortals here have called their armies. It was not so mere days ago, but now they have littered the streets. I cannot tell you why. It is their war, yet everyone fights it.

[ Darcy enters through the doorway, looking at the apartment curiously. ]

And you're not?

[ That surprises Darcy, just a little bit. She always gotten the impression that this is the guy who would gladly jump into a dog pile. ]

[ It was the best of apartments, it was the worst of apartments: it's not nearly as spartan as he would have wished, and... unequipped to handle people of the appropriate size.

Tiny humans.

But it's clean, so he leads the way around the 'living room' happily. ]

I have given word to stand aside until - unless civilians are harmed. [ A sigh, brief. ] Let soldiers fight as they would. But we cannot allow war against innocents.

Sounds reasonable enough.

[ And Darcy is likely not going to get herself involved either, unless Jane comes here and starts to throw molotovs at the police. But the chances of that happening are nill, so Darcy thinks she is relatively free of being arrested.

As she enters the living room area she notices the apperance of just-gotten-clean look rooms tend to have. She can tell, she has her share of hastily made clean-ups. ]

Nice place you got here.

So it's just you and your brother?

[ Oh, Darcy.

Oh, the sudden glare that innocent question earns.

He doesn't shy from letting it linger, before easing back into a shallow degree of relaxation - the sofa. He pats it once, twice. Time to introduce Darcy to his very best of friends, the sofa, which may or may not be covered in... dog hair. ]

My brother and I do not share quarters. He stays where he pleases. I - we are guests to the lady Sif.

[ He takes the time to remove a hair the length of his own hand from the backrest. ]

...and to her dogs.

[ Jane Foster is an astrophysicist and more often than not, she can read the stars better than people.

Darcy is the opposite of that. To her the stars might as well be fireflies in a big blue black thing, but she can totally read people. If Darcy was a superhero, reading people would totally be her superpower; that and her boobs. Also: taser.

So she can tell she totally said the wrong thing. Whoops? That might explain the genetics line from that other guy in her network post. She can tell there are already rules in this house (apartment) that You Shall Not Talk of Thor's Brother in Front of Thor. She can do that, even though it makes her super curious as to what the hell just happened between two Viking gods to be so irritated with each other. She figures not much, but what would she know? She thought Thor was a crazy homeless guy until an hour ago.

Darcy raises her hands slightly in meek surrender as Thor got over her faux pas and walked over to the suspiciously hairy couch. She sits down next to him, but not without a respectable distance as one can get with a couch. ]

Cool, I love dogs.

[ Even if she's more of a cat person. Some days she wished Jane was more like a cat when it comes to assisting her. ]

Sif - that's the woman who spoke to me? She seems to recognize me but I haven't got a clue who she is.

[ Bless your largesse, Darcy Lewis. Thor is only too happy to side-step every aspect of that private hell also known as Asgardian sibling relations.

He apparently decides to reward her great understanding by picking away at each and every dog hair visible on the sofa. It's a long, arduous and sacrifice-ridden task, but one Disney princess-haired superhero has to do it. ]

That is she.

[ His hand pauses over a reddish hair, and he frowns down, vaguely recollecting his thoughts on a particular subject; then he continues. ]

You... are not come to us as you should be.

[ Wrong... way to begin... ]

You are...early? Earlier. Compared to us. You are - she has met you. That is what needs known, she has met you, you have met her, and neither of you has shamed your ancestors.

[ ...he thinks. ]

[ Darcy flicks a hair strand off the seat, trying to translate Thor's words into proper English. ]

We have met?

[ She can't help but repeat that.

Like this happened in the past for Thor. But it has not happened to Darcy. So what the hell does that mean? She can almost hear the Twilight Zone theme song jingling in her head -

oh shit. ]

You're from the future? Like, my future right now and your past are, like, the same thing? Is that what I'm getting that here?

[ Her brain is going to explode any minute now. Holy shit she feels like Einstein for figuring this out. ]

[ Now that they've started its cleaning, Thor too begins to realize that maybe, just maybe, the actual state of the sofa was significantly improved by the hairy decoration. ]

Your present... is my past... and we are... in a different world.

[ He really oughtn't look so very pleased with himself for having figured this out. But he does, oh, he does. ]

Yes!

[ Bask in the moment, because Darcy is feeling like a badass. And this time she doesn't have the need to whip out her taser! ]

Oh my god we are both geniuses.

[ He is basking - terrified, eyes alight with grave suspicion, but basking all the same. No one's... quite... praised his wit before. His looks, his hammer, his bravery, his heart... but his... wit... ]

You are mortal. I expect no less of you.

[ Cue: smile. ]

Now, tell me: I do not know what is wanted for your care, but I trust all can be found and fetched. Is there something you would have need of?

[And suddenly there is a dark shadow looming near Thor's shoulder. White teeth flash in a pale smile.]

A pity that you give more credit to Thor than is due.

[ To Thor: ]

Yes, I am tiny, but I can make a mean cup of coffee. And brilliant, but people tend to gloss over that.

[ And to not!brother!guy, who may have startled Darcy just a little bit by his appearance: ]

Dude, we just made trans-dimensional discover without the aid of Jane and Dr. Selvig. No raining on the parade just yet.

[ And then : ]

Those two are my bosses. Who aren't here, apparently. Totally weird because I was with them before getting yanked here.

Edited 2013-06-27 00:43 (UTC)

[ Oh, but he tires of this. He does not turn, because his not-brother takes the pleasure of that, and this he will not grant. Instead, he looks Darcy in the eye, pleasantly ignoring Loki, for all half of this is aimed at him. ]

All the same, you are here now. And we are gladdened to have you.

[ And his voice steels just a little. ]

There are but few rules in this household. The first: we do not sever time, or space to make appearance without summon. The second: we do not maim, we do not kill and we do not bloody on these grounds. The third: ...only I touch the hammer.

[ Smiiiiiiiiiile. ]

This is agreeable to you?

[ Darcy's eyes flutters in the direction of Thor, to Thor's brother, to back to Thor again, obviously picking up the unsaid tension between the two behind her glasses. Very briefly she has a peculiar expression, one that shows she is not sure of her own secret moment of recognition is valid enough to make a comment.

But the expression is soon gone and she focuses on Thor now. ]

You won't have to worry of me breaking Rule One, as that's way above my pay grade. And I promise not to use my taser against anyone here or you again.

[ She smiles wryly. ]

Only you?

[ His grip on Mjölnir, quite incidentally, hardens. ]

Only I.

[ But he is a noble and generous soul, and so his growing grin betrays. ]

Although, if you are willing and able, you may polish it.

[ And now, to think the matter over - ]

Cloth of velvet. The great Mjölnir is not opposed to it. ]

You'd not even allow Jane to ...handle Mjolnir? [Why yes, that is a lewd entendre, but he asks so innocuously.]

Yes Darcy, if you are willing and able, you may polish his hammer. [And he's just going to give her a wink, because there's entendre there, too.]

Quite the wit, he is, wouldn't you say? [He's ignoring the rules of your house because he does what he wants and distorting time and space to appear as he pleases, without summons, is something he wants. You ought well be grateful, Thor, that he is deigning to visit you.]

[ It takes all of Darcy's restraint not to sigh. God, double entendres are better when you only have one other person to share with. Any more than one and someone will take up the asshole mantle and just run to the ground and ruin the whole thing.

Darcy frowns at the comment about Jane. Is that a future thing? Darcy isn't sure; she's not a genius 24/7, but it does sound like a future thing. She gives Loki a brief, hard look when he mentions Jane; it sounded like he's not friendly toward her boss at all. Jane is not the easiest person to get along with, but she's not a crappy person. In fact this guy looking more like a dick, and it's barely two minutes into the conversation.

No wonder Thor is so stressed out about him.

And then it's back to addressing Thor again like his brother is never there, if if she flushes a little bit at the wink. Ugh, getting into awkward territory here . . . ]

Don't worry about Mew-Mew. I'm not sure if I can afford velvet now.

[ well, not the nice kind anyway. ]

[

[ This is not the attempted elbowing Loki was looking for.

Or perhaps it is, as Thor oh-so-gently reaches an arm back to try to offend the sensibilities of his dearest brother's stomach.

It's so precious how they can keep aiming all their conversation Darcy's way, bless her heart. ]

What my brother surely means to give say, is that we are thankful for your aid, however it may come. And for your company, as stands.

[He exhales sharply at that casual and oafish elbow making contact with his stomach, though rather than purging all the contents of said stomach on the obnoxious red of Thor's cape, Loki knees him in the back of the thigh.

Hard.

And smiles at Darcy, the expression a bit unhinged.]

Ah- mew mew?

[ And Darcy smiles right back, Stepford-style. ]

Mew-Mew. Or whatever it is Thor calls his hammer. [ Or penis for that matter. ]

[ Puny sorcerer, trying to hit the godly equivalent of a just as brainless brick wall. If not for the knock of flesh on flesh, he might even say that didn't happen.

....all right, so there's a little soreness involved, because weasels hit like --- , but no one mention that.

His smile stays, gentle-giant-like, as he bows his head slowly. ]

Mjolnir. It is my father's name to it, and the same it is proud to bear.

[ Briefly, he rewards said hammer with an affectionate glance, before reviewing his two guests. ]

Stay here. Settle. I owe search to what was lost to me, but I always return with evening. Take rest - [ and this, more for Loki's benefit ] - without trouble, and we speak upon return.

Worry not, brother, I shall look after your mortal. [And flashes a smile full of teeth at Thor, emphasizing the familial term.

He inclines his head at Darcy.] You are an odd thing, but tolerable, I think.

[ Darcy gives the two of them a pointed cough. ]

Girls, it just so happens I both a taser and really awesome shoes to deal with a little brotherly tussle.

[ Well, maybe not, but she also has excellent skills in running the hell away.

She gives Loki another smile, just for that compliment. ]

Play nice and I'll be more than tolerable.

[ Alas, he is thankfully more than ready to evacuate the premise. No, really, look at him: shifty eyes and all. ]

Take your tussle with the silvered tongue in my wake. If he gives trouble -

[ ......his fingers pointedly pinch at air, while Thor does his very best imitation of either a prolonged taser-ish bzzzzzzzzzt, or the dying song of a long lost Asgardian creature. ]

[Loki just arches a brow at Thor.

But says as an aside to Darcy.] I believe his mind has shorted itself out.

[ Her voice equally low as she mutters back to Loki: ]

Don't judged, being tased has that effect.

[ Then brightly back at Thor. ]

Have fun on your quest!

[One corner of his mouth turned up.]

You .. tased him?

[He chuckles and inclines his head at Thor.]

Worry not, I shall take care of her.

[Behoooooooooooooooooold your fucking host, as poor today as she was the day before, because jobs are still as taboo in this household as Loki is. But Sif tries, and the fact that there's an uprising going on at the moment lets them...well, squat rather comfortably, in her own apartment. And she knows that it's her own, because the clothes she found in its drawers fit her, firstly; secondly, because almost everyone else has reassured her that it was true.

She comes in later, by the time Darcy's been briefed by Thor in...most part (and as well as he can brief someone?), two dogs walking into the apartment after her. Clearly, she's gone for a run with them both.]

The streets remain the same, just as hect- oh. Hello. We have guests.

Yeah, sorry.

[ Darcy is not sure what she's apologizing for except for the hard and fast rule Better-To-Beg-For-Forgivness-Than-Ask-Permission ]

Thor invited me in. Hope that's okay.

At least you are not a bear. [A little grin slips, and she manages to throw Thor a look that says unlike other friends you invite, before stepping forward and offering her hand.

She's observed the gestures of courtesy between mortals, she's pretty sure this is what happens now.]

Welcome.

Bears are terrifying. Me, less so. I don't have a cub to protect, for one.

Thanks for letting me in for such short notice.

'tis no trouble. [Because Thor invited you :|]

I hope you do not mind the arrangements.

Nah, I don't.

[ Darcy flops back to the couch. ]

Also, Thor and I figured out why I couldn't remember you.

[She nods faintly, letting the dogs into the apartment to do whatever the hell they want to do, and heads to take a seat on a chair somewhere...somewhere.]

I come from a different time.

Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm around the time where I thought Thor was a crazy drunk for calling himself the god of thunder.

[ And promptly tased him for it. Oops. ]

But now I know better!

Yes, it is possible - I believe I am not from his time, either. [She shrugs like, eh, time travel, seen weirder.]

Now you know he was not drunk?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Are they aliens or robots or humanoids or gods?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject