tampered | (open)

For not being bothered by me. The way that you were looking--I thought I had done something wrong.

[He smiles self-consciously, embarrassed for even noticing that she had been lurking.]

Also, I should thank you for coming to this party.

You did not. [That's just how she always looks. She's not going to admit she was spying on him purposefully, either. At least not to him. She looks at him directly. That is worth being thanked for as well?]

I came with Pai.

[ Hei isn't much concerned with the universe or his rightful place in it, in the implacable spiraling of darkness and despair. The gap between human beings and their footholds in existence is a nice enough murk in which to drown yourself. So many have drowned themselves in it before. But what Hei's interested in more is the gap between people and people, and none of the above. Those engulfing silences between people. They're just specks, but they believe they're so close because they're in the same place, as if a string of concurrent words or a transmission of heat or bodily fluids are the beginning and the end. They don't even know themselves. They're question-marks suspended in cavernous bodies, if that. Living is a succession of endings, occupying space. ]

[ No. Scratch that. Most aren't even occupying fucking space. They're walking gaps. ]

[ He wouldn't say that to Pavel, though. Misanthropic contemplation has its place. This isn't one of those moments. ]

It's the same concept in my world. [ A beat, then two, before he amends, quieter, ] Contractors don't dream. [ Hei does. But then, he's not what you'd call the conventional Contractor. ] They were exchanged mostly for symbolism, with my old teammates.

[ It's true that if one hundred people are witnesses to a gunfight, there are one hundred different versions of what happened. One hundred and two, if you count the gunmen. Only by gathering all the different stories and weaving them together can you come as close to objectivity as possible. Except Hei isn't a judge or a detective. Objectivity -- fairness -- isn't his purview. He only knows that Marie had damaged something -- someone -- he's peripherally possessive of. So he'd responded by wrecking something Marie held valuable in return. Admittedly the rationalization is a simplistic one. But sometimes it's easier to have a spark of clarity in his life, given the shifting, ambiguous world he's from. ]

[ Despite Pavel's meaningful look, Hei has little interest in restraining Korra. If she's going to go on a rampage, it's not his job to play referee. He watches impassively when Marie exits. But something about the vibrations of Korra's words, What's wrong with you? -- the hurt and disbelief in them -- prompts him to say to her, ] Why don't I take you somewhere for a little air. [ Inflected like a plea, but actually it's more of a command. ]

[ yep. totally awkward. he just kneels down in the sand for a bit and picks up the bucket and spade to help out. never would he ever have guessed vulcans would be playing around in the sand. just goes to show him. ~~happy, kathryn?~~ ]

I can't remember the last time I sat down to do something like this.

[ it's a proverbial olive branch, a slow working up to the real topic he wants to discuss. ]

[ Hei watches from the corner of his eye, as Yin drifts into the dappled shade under a tree. Picks at the food on his plate, before refocusing on the horizon, an untrustworthy boundary between a vast blue sky and an aquamarine ocean. The sound of peoples' voices threatens to become indistinguishable from the cries of seabirds, and all of it is swallowed up by the amorphously soothing slosh of the waves. For a while, he amuses himself with differentiating separate voices among the desultory murmur, catching hold of strings of words and following their roots into interwoven conversations. But mostly he concentrates on emptying his plate. ]

[ He didn't want to come to the party, but now that he's here he's content -- or as content as Hei gets -- because it's so much easier to just be. The convoluted mazes through which his thoughts have been running lately are left behind in the City. Here, he can melt into the background and watch the dramas play out among the guests, without being reminded of his own. ]

[ When he's bored with people-watching, and ready to retreat somewhere else, he'll pass by Yin's spot. Drop a hat onto her head (purchased earlier from one of the vendors next to food stands), quiet and unobstrusive, before shuffling up the sandy slopes alone. ]

If you would like to interpret it as a challenge, I will not try to dissuade you, but if I may ask--what is a housewarming?

That's a good idea, because I am not a woman who is easily dissuaded.

A housewarming is a party you throw when you move into a new home. Sometimes people bring you things you may need like kitchen items or items for decor, but really it's just an excuse to show off your new place and have a party. Once Tony confirms my position as a lab assistant, Allison and I are moving in together. I think I'll probably end up working with you. [She beams at him.] Won't that be great?

[Hei's mind works in terrifying ways and goes places that no people who aren't sociopaths should attempt to follow him to.]

To catch the nightmares that Contractors do not have? [He's not teasing.} That's a good thought. Maybe we should exchange these in Starfleet, also, for the nightmares that we also never have.

[Not to imply that he doesn't believe Hei. From what Pavel knows about Contractors, he can't imagine how they would dream. Dreaming seems as if it would require more creativity and fancifulness and carefully buried fears and feelings than a Contractor possesses. They aren't like the people he worked with at home. They might say that they don't have nightmares--who wants to admit to being haunted by failures and deaths?--but they only act as if they believe each other out of politeness.]

Thank you. [He may have done so inadvertently, but Hei as good as called Pavel a teammate. This isn't necessarily a good thing. Regardless, Pavel is touched and inebriated enough to reach over to squeeze Hei's arm in the sort of casual, friendly gesture that marks his relationships with almost everyone who isn't Hei.]

[Yin's expression is unsettlingly blank. That isn't too surprising, given their location. Pavel files this away as a curiosity and forcibly maintains a small, agreeable smile.]

I know Pai, as well as her brother. A friend of theirs is mine, as well.

[Ah ha. Ha. He means it; he also knows that there's a chance that any mutual friend of theirs is a remorseless killer. It takes all sorts.]

[ What Pavel hasn't told Hei, he's picked up from the surveillance bugs hidden at the young man's home. Although, in Hei's defense, what Pavel has told him is quite substantial. Enough for him to mentally compose a handful of dossiers, in any case. Details about Spock, Kirk, Uhura, Sulu and McCoy. Having Pavel aware of Hei's real identity puts him under enormous personal pressure to watch the young man's activity, to check if he doesn't let slip anything incriminating about 'Li' to his crew. Sometimes Hei still thinks the smarter choice would've been to erase Pavel's memory entirely. But then he and Pavel would be strangers. Hei wouldn't be able to waltz into parties like this. To observe and catalogue but also just do nothing but (try to) relax. Take an interest. Interest of a novel kind -- not to do with combat or risky experiments or stargazing or food. ]

[ It's something of a rarity -- but Hei almost enjoys it. (Almost.) ]

What does the science officer do? [ Another mouthful of beef. No crunching this time. But 'Li' clearly doesn't notice the flecks of BBQ sauce smearing his chin. ] Collect information on all the stranger things in space? Because I'm sure there must be hundreds.

Yes, nothing, of course.

[She's probably telling the truth. Jim doesn't know how to not throw a party when the opportunity presents itself, and it's common knowledge that the captain snoops through personnel files.]

You are far too kind, Miss Ginny. [He worms his way into an upright position and flings an arm around Ginny's shoulders. Yeah, he may have had several somethings to drink. Everyone should enjoy it while they can, as Chekov isn't typically given to doing anything that impairs his mental faculties.] To say thank you, we should celebrate my birthday again, only in the traditional Russian way where I buy things for you. Is it something magic? If so, I will need to hide it before the commander can break it trying to learn how it works.

Remind me to never challenge you insincerely, Miss Lydia.

This is a sound reason for a party. {Even if there is no warming involved. He brightens.] You will work at City Solutions? This is better than great! Maybe your laboratory will be near mine! I have been working alone for months and the quiet becomes very tedious--I would like nothing more than good company.

Just call me Lydia, okay? You don't call your female friends 'Miss', do you?

[A chuckle.] I don't know if I rate my own lab. I'm only looking into a position as an assistant; I'm not qualified to hire on when I lack the full credentials as anything on a higher level yet. So knows, maybe I'll end up your lab assistant!

[To be fair, Spock really didn't expect an intense construction project to take up so much of his time. It's not, as Sulu thinks, a neurotic need to build a sand city, but it is work of a kind and Spock takes pride in it. It's an odd setting for his first proper diplomatic encounter since Khan, but he doesn't remark on it. Some part of him is the same as Ambassador Spock.]

You did not go to the beach, while on Earth?

Hardly.

[But she hopes he likes it. She's gotten quite good at the charm to make self-inking quills, they make such handsome gifts and she's given them out a few times—simple, practical, a little bit of magic that isn't too far off from ballpoint pens, in a way.]

If your commander breaks my gift, I'll be quite cross, so let's not have that happen. [Reaching up with a sandy hand to ruffle his hair.] I trust you to put it to good use. And don't you dare buy me anything, I've only just had a birthday and it wouldn't do to spoil me before Christmas.

[ In most ways, Hei's train of thought is inevitable. During Heaven's War, he'd seen the worst humanity had to offer in terms of selfishness, violence, and indifference. Logically, you'd expect exposure to that kind of behavior to result in more of the same. (The fact that it hasn't -- that Hei hasn't been entirely swallowed up by it -- says volumes. There's a core to him that the grime of his daily life hasn't yet seeped into.) ]

[ He doesn't respond to the faint note of skepticism in Pavel's words. Nor does he reveal that his teammates in South America never kept the dreamcatchers intact. Instead they'd carried fragments of them, like talismans. The implication, when you stopped to consider the cadre Hei belonged to, was fitting. The best of the best; the most ruthless. Walking nightmares. Something about the atmosphere here, maybe the sight of the dreamcatcher, or the smoky air, brings it back for Hei. What it was like to be a teenager, no older than Pavel, with deadly skills and a license to use them, miles from home and making it up as he went along, knowing no one had been so near the Gate before his team, like astronauts on the moon but better, juiced with hormones and adrenaline, excitement and fear, an adolescent's keen mind and a predator's deadly instincts. ]

[ They'd known they were special, anointed for their role, baptized by bloodshed and experience, their childhoods as useless to them as empty snakeskins. What they didn't know -- not he, or Amber, or Carmine, or even Pai -- was what they'd be forced to forfeit afterward. ]

[ Pavel's friendly gesture gets a raised eyebrow. But Hei doesn't shrug him off. Physicality is a calculated thing for him. Still, there's no harm in spontaneous contact -- provided it's in small doses. Tipping his shoulder with a faint smile, he says, ] I hope you live to get old, but not bitter. [ Not the same as Many happy returns or May you live to be a hundred. But it's sincere. ]

No trouble at all.

[He nods to Naga.]

A hybrid species?

[ He nips at his lips, a quick peck. ] You do.

Oh. [ He hadn't met to - can he stop her? Should he? Can she get sick? ] Guess you are hungry.

[People usually do give information if politely asked, by a seemingly innocuous stranger. Spock himself isn't suspicious enough to use this to his advantage. As far as he's concerned, Li is just a very curious human, and Spock can hardly fault curiosity. It's the type of questions the man asks that would make him evasive, but he has another disadvantage: Spock doesn't lie. He can't, not openly.]

Yes. Primarily: to observe and report on sensor readings, biometric data, and other events that may affect the ship and crew, as well as to direct any and all landing parties when exploring a new planet.

[A pause, and he gestures to Li's chin, so that he can wipe the sauce off.]

[Spock has a bit of a Thing about propriety.]

With practice, nothing is hard.

[Oh.]

[So get this. Nobody really ever thinks anything Spock does is cool. It's robotic, neurotic, borderline obsessive, abstruse, and/or downright creepy. Jim thinks certain things are cool sometimes.]

[Spock offers Scott a slightly odd expression that might've been a smile in another life.]

You wish to learn?

I intend to, yes.

[He points to a bucket full of shells.]

There is to be a competition between ourselves and the crew of Voyager. Would you like to assist me in practicing?

So far, embarrassing or inconvenient appears to be the case.

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